


how to lose a woman in ten dates

by TheTruthAboutLove



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Dating, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:14:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 46,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24004918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTruthAboutLove/pseuds/TheTruthAboutLove
Summary: She's ready to sneak past them, maybe give her a subtle thumbs up, when Sara says to the girl:“I'm actually here with someone.”Ava can only assume it was said to get rid of a woman Sara isn't interested in, but it gives her what is probably both the best idea she's ever had in her entire life according to her drunk self, and the absolutely worst idea anyone has ever had, ever, in the history of ideas, according to her sober self upon recollection of the events.“I've just had an amazing idea,” is what she says to Sara, stumbling into her seat as the girl eyes her oddly before leaving. “I should totally just date you.”Or, Ava's friends think she should date casually, Sara's friends think she should date seriously, so obviously going on five to ten dates with each other has to shut them all up for good. What could possibly go wrong? (Or, just another fake dating AU)
Relationships: Amaya Jiwe & Sara Lance, Charlie/Zari Tomaz | Zari Tarazi, Nate Heywood & Ava Sharpe, Nate Heywood/Amaya Jiwe, Nora Darhk & Ava Sharpe, Nora Darhk/Ray Palmer, Sara Lance & Zari Tomaz | Zari Tarazi, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 487
Kudos: 1010
Collections: Favorite Avalance Fanfics





	1. The ante-date (and the best worst decision of Ava's life)

Ava's sipping her second drink slowly, nodding along to whatever the woman in front of her is saying. She has been talking about baseball for what feels like hours by this point. Ava has tried to listen at first, but she ended up thinking of everything in her life that went terribly wrong for it to end up with her trapped in this conversation.

Well, she knows what went wrong, really. She knows perfectly well. This tragic events were fated upon her the very moment she had decided to pick the two worst possible people to be best friends with: Nora Darhk and Nate Heywood.

Admittedly, yes, they had been marginally right in their argument, that went a little like “Ava, you never date just for fun, the last relationship you had was three years ago and lasted one year before that,” and “you can legally go on more than a single date with a person without immediately deciding to either never see her again or asking her to move in” and “one night stands are a thing in this century” and Ava had made a distressed face and left, only to be cornered again on their lunch break.

So, according to her two best friends, she should date. Casually. Go on five to ten dates with a woman, then move on. Ava had found herself agreeing just to get them off her back.

But now, here she is, sitting at the counter in a gay bar, nodding through the most boring baseball conversation she has ever had, and picturing what it would be like doing this for five more nights of her life.

Nope.

“You know, this has been delightful, but I-”

And then, something terrible happens. Something even worse than the conversation she has had to endure. She looks over the girl's shoulder and locks eyes with none other than-

“Oh, no.”

“Ava, hey,” the woman smiles at her and approaches her like she hadn't been talking to someone else. “Sara,” she pointed at herself. “From work?”

Yes, she's well aware who the woman is. Ava couldn't forget her even if she wanted to. And Lord, did she want to.

Sara Lance. College dropout. Former bartender. Dead. And most recently, consultant for the FBI as atonement for her acts of vigilantism and bane of Ava's existence. Sara Lance took nothing seriously, not work, not life, and Ava can barely stand her entire team and is glad Rip had been the one tasked with babysitting them for the majority of the time. When they did have to work together, Sara had a complete disregard for every rule, law or order Ava threw at her.

It was safe to say, in the three months they had worked in each other's proximity, Sara had become a daily nuisance. So of course, Ava knows who she is. And Sara is perfectly aware of that fact.

“Lance,” Ava sighs, gulping down the rest of her drink. “What are you doing here?”

“Excuse me, we were talking,” baseball girl says, then turns to Ava. “You two know each other?”

“Oh, for sure, me and Ava go way back,” Sara grins. “It's kind of a funny story, really,” the devilish smile is an indicator enough that what is coming is a very made up story crafted to humiliate Ava.

“We work together,” Ava interrupts, to avoid the imminent disaster. The girl's eyes grow a little bigger and she looks between Ava and Sara, seemingly realizing something. Ava tries to desperately backtrack. “Well, not together, we work in the same building. We don't even get along, really,” she tries to brush Sara's presence off, but Sara standing there and just smiling like she's about to have the time of her life does nothing to make the girl stick around. And, even though Ava wanted to leave, now that the alternative is Sara Lance, Ava would choose a conversation about baseball any day.

“Okay then,” baseball girl nods, “I'll let you two catch up.”

She picks up her drink and Sara jumps into the seat next to Ava the second she's gone.

“What'd you do that for?” Ava swats her arm.

“Oh, come on, I just saved you from the worst pick up I've ever had to witness with my own two eyes,” Sara chuckles and signals the bartender to get them two more of whatever Ava has been drinking.

“I'll have you know I was having a very interesting conversation about baseball with that woman, and you rudely interrupted,” Ava does her best to look annoyed.

“Oh, Sharpe, I don't know what conversation _you_ were having, but from what I overheard the poor girl trying to get your attention was going on and on about _basketball_ ,” Sara tries not to laugh blatantly, at least.

Ava closes her eyes for a moment, resisting the urge to facepalm herself. If she had tried to listen, she could've made it through basketball conversation just fine. What was wrong with her? “Close enough,” she whispers, taking a sip of her newly delivered drink. “You're paying for this for chasing her off, by the way.”

Sara chuckles, but gives in, raising her hands. “So, didn't think you were the kind of woman who picks up people in bars, anyway.”

Ava sighs, and her head falls on her arm on the counter. “This is Nora and Nate's fault. They say I have to date casually more. Just because I can tell on date one if someone's wrong for me-”

“How?” Sara chuckles. “How could you ever know on date one?”

“Well, what am I gonna talk to baseball girl about?”

“I don't know, maybe basketball?” Sara suggests. Ava groans. “I mean, maybe she's into martial arts, you're into that, right? And she likes sports. Or maybe you'll like the same movies. Or, well, something. You can go on at least three dates with a person you have almost nothing in common with.”

“Nice theory, but what's the point?” Ava asks, sitting up again. “One date or three dates, what changes? I'd have to sleep with them, and who wants that?”

Sara's eyes go wide. “Well, them? You? Ideally, both, so you can actually do it.”

“You know what I mean. It takes effort and why do it if you're not in a loving relationship?”

Sara thinks about it for a moment, and seems to actually consider her words. “Okay, you only sleep with people you connect to, that's fair. Then try to connect to her.”

“Baseball girl?” Ava grimaces.

“Basketball,” Sara corrects again. “And yes, sure, she seems interested and nice enough.”

“What am I gonna talk to her about for five whole dates?”

“Five? Why five?”

“Nate and Nora insist that to prove this isn't a pattern of seeing women for either one date or one year I need to date someone for five to ten dates and then dump them.”

“That's perfect. You won't get attached to basketball girl,” Sara pointed out. “And chances are she won't be too attached to you after just five dates.”

Ava snorts. “Have you ever dated a lesbian?”

Sara chuckles at that. “Fair enough.”

“Why are you here, anyway?” Ava asks for a second time.

“Ah, you know. Dating casually. My friends seem to think I have the opposite problem you have, so they've been encouraging me to not sleep with people I'm never going to see again and instead try to look for... I believe 'the love of my life', is what they said.”

“Oh, Lance,” Ava whispers to her like she's about to reveal a secret to her, “I don't want to discourage you but I don't think the love of your life is in this cheap bar.”

“Well, you wouldn't think, but before I saw you I was having a very interesting conversation with this girl-”

Sara turns to point her out and Ava follows her line of sight.

“Oh,” she covers her mouth to contain her laugh. “Please tell me she's the one making out with basketball girl.”

And, sure enough, Sara slowly turns around to her again with a less than impressed look and curtly nods.

“You tried to ruin my chances and ended up ruining your own,” Ava chuckles again.

“I was trying to rescue you,” Sara protests. “And what a karmic reward I get,” she shakes her head, but Ava can see she's holding back a smile.

They burst into laughter at their own unluckiness, and it is only after a few moments that Ava gathers herself, sighs, and says:

“What a disaster this has been. I think I'll call it a night.”

“Oh, come on, it's Friday! One more drink,” Sara offers. “On me, for chasing away basketball girl.”

Ava hesitates. “Why are you being nice to me?”

She shrugs, pointing to the two girls making out at the other end of the bar. “Misery loves company.”

Ava smiles despite herself and, against her better judgement, stays for “just one more drink”.

It's three hours later, as she's coming back from the bathroom, that she overhears a girl flirting with Sara. She's ready to sneak past them, maybe give her a subtle thumbs up, when Sara says to the girl:

“I'm actually here with someone.”

Ava can only assume it was said to get rid of a woman Sara isn't interested in, but it gives her what is probably both the best idea she's ever had in her entire life according to her drunk self, and the absolutely worst idea anyone has ever had, ever, in the history of ideas, according to her sober self upon recollection of the events.

“I've just had an _amazing_ idea,” is what she says to Sara, stumbling into her seat as the girl eyes her oddly before leaving. “I should totally just date _you_.”

Sara's eyebrows skyrocket and she makes a pleasantly surprised face. “You know, I actually-”

“I mean, we hate each other, right? There's no way I'll want to keep dating you after ten dates. And we know each other well enough that we can survive a few nights together.”

Sara's expression falls a little, then she frowns and chuckles at the same time and it is a clear signal Ava isn't the only one feeling a little buzzed from the whiskey.

“Yeah, yes, totally. That- that's what I was thinking, too. It would totally get my team off my back, so it's a win-win, really.”

“Right? And since we know where we stand nobody will get hurt,” Ava points out.

“Right,” Sara agrees. “Nobody will get hurt.”

In hindsight, Ava should've probably just told Nora and Nate to get off her back in the first place. But alas, the hangover she has the next day turns out to be just the beginning of her many troubles.

  
  


When Nora barges in her room to wake her up, Ava would have strangled her if she had the strength to get up from her bed. Instead, she groans and rolls over.

“Rise and shine, we have our book club brunch in an hour!”

“I'm dead, leave me alone,” Ava groans again.

“Someone had one too many whiskeys,” Nora chuckles, opening the curtains.

“Why would you do that,” Ava whines a little at the sudden light, hiding under her covers.

“Brunch, one hour, and I want to know everything that happened last night!” Nora says, leaving the room again.

Ava bolts into a sitting position, regretting it immediately when the nausea follows the movement. Right, everything that happened last night. She remembers Sara Lance, laughing. Sara Lance buying her a drink. Sara Lance taking a cab with her to make sure she got home safe.

She grimaces, a bitter taste in her mouth that reminds her of bile and regret.

“Maybe it was just a horrible nightmare,” she whispers to herself, just a moment before her phone chimes up.

There's one new text message from a contact now named “Lance-a-lot heart-eyes-emoji pink-heart-with-blue-arrow-emoji” reading “morning sharpe, how's the hangover?”

Ava grimaces again and lets herself fall face first into her pillow. “Maybe I can fake my own death and move to a peaceful deserted island.”

From the other room, Nora shouts: “I can hear you groaning but I can't hear you getting ready!”

Ava's answer is yet another groan.

  
  


Ava shows up to brunch wearing sunglasses indoors and with a cup of coffee in each hand; Nora has been talking about Ray – or so she assumes, she has stopped listening the second Nora has closed the door of their apartment and started chatting. Usually, she'd be ready to gush with her, but hangover Ava is only trying to survive until she can sit again.

“Why are you holding Nora's coffee?” Mona asks as soon as they sit down.

“These are both mine,” Ava mumbles, sipping one of them.

“O-kay,” Mona exchanges a look with Nora. “Moving on,” she waves over a waitress and orders them six glasses of wine to go with their appetizers.

“Wait, six?” Ava frowns, noticing the extra seats at the table.

“So, don't get mad before we _all_ try to-” Mona falls silent.

Ava keeps looking at her, waving a hand for her to go on, but then notices Mona is looking somewhere behind herself.

“Sorry we're late, it's Sara's fault,” Zari says, sitting down at their table.

“She came home pretty late last night,” Amaya confirms, taking the seat next to her.

Ava closes her eyes, but she knows ignoring the problem usually doesn't just make it disappear magically. Sadly.

“Hey guys. Hey, Ava.”

She would've recognized that voice anywhere.

“So, great news, everyone, Ava and I-”

Ava gets up loudly from her seat to interrupt that very, very dangerous sentence.

“Would you excuse us, for just one moment,” Ava asks the rest of the table somewhat politely, then turns and gestures for Sara to follow her.

When they turn the corner to the bathroom, Ava stops abruptly, and Sara almost smashes right into her. Ava holds her up at arm length, takes off her sunglasses and then gives her a suspicious look over.

“What are you doing?”

“Following you, I thought you gestured-”

“Not _this_. Why are you here?”

“Nora and Mona invited us, thought it'd be good for the team. Didn't they tell you? It's been on for, like, three days.”

Ava rolls her eyes. “They didn't. Probably because they knew that if I knew you'd be here, I'd bail,” she gives Sara a sarcastic smile.

“I see you're back to your abrasive self,” Sara says, unimpressed. “I thought we agreed to date? To prove our friends wrong? Five to ten dates, remember?”

“You can't be serious,” Ava whispers harshly, then smiles politely to a couple passing by them and looking at them oddly. “Sara, that was just the stupidest idea ever, I was drunk.”

“Was it, though? It would solve both our problems. Plus, you already asked me out, are you really going to take it back after making an offer?” Sara gives her the most innocent look she can muster.

Ava is forced to recognize it wouldn't really be fair. “Fine. Five to ten dates, and then we each go our way.”

“Sounds perfect. If I can put in the effort to date you, my friends will have to face I don't date by choice and not because I couldn't put the emotional labour in.”

Ava smiles sarcastically. “Well, my friends will have no problem believing I could dump you after a few dates.”

“Oh no, I'm the one dumping you!”

“No way! At the very least it's gonna be mutual!”

“Fine. Mutual break up in five to ten dates,” Sara offers her a hand to shake.

Ava doesn't know how or why, since this was her idea to begin with, but she feels like she's just been played.

“Fine,” she shakes Sara's hand regrettably.

Sara doesn't let go, instead, she uses it to tug Ava back to their table with a smile that makes terror run up Ava's spine.

Once they sit back down, Sara finally lets go of her hand and Ava sighs in relief, starting to sip on her second coffee. Nora looks at her weirdly for a moment, then turns back to Amaya and starts making conversation again.

  
  


“So what's up with you and Sara?”

“Nothing,” Ava says too quickly. “Nothing,” she tries again, but it doesn't sound more convincing.

“You were holding hands when you came back,” Nora points out.

“She was just tugging me along, she was being annoying. Nothing weird with that.”

“Ava.”

“Fine. We ended up at the same bar last night,” she stalls for a moment longer, then sighs. “Please keep in mind I was very, very drunk.”

“You _slept_ with Sara Lance?!”

“Lower your voice,” Ava admonishes, looking around the sidewalk like she half expects Sara to pop up unannounced at any moment. “I wasn't _that_ drunk. But I did... ask her on a date,” she grimaces.

“You asked Sara Lance on a _date_?!”

“Nora, what did I just say,” Ava hushes.

“Sorry, but that's so much worse!”

“How is it worse?” Ava frowns.

“You'll have to spend time with her sober. A drunken one night stand I could understand, but this just seems unrealistic for the time being.”

“For any time,” Ava murmurs under her breath. Nora rolls her eyes and whispers something under her breath that sounds a lot like a very sarcastic “sure”, but Ava lets it slide. “Listen, what's done is done, I'll go on a few dates with her and then dump her so I can prove to you and Nate I can date casually.”

“Oh, honey,” Nora sighs. “Sara Lance is probably the last person on this planet you could ever date casually.”

Well, that settles it then. Now, she _has_ to do it.

“Sure I can,” Ava says stubbornly. “Besides, I already asked her out and she said yes, it'd be rude to retract now,” she points out the same way Sara has to her before. “It's just a few dates. Surely enough I can stand being in her presence without wanting to sell my soul to a demon for a few dates, right?”

“That isn't exactly what concerns me,” Nora frowns.

“There is nothing to be worried about,” Ava reassures her. “Sara's going to be just fine.”

Ava enters their apartment, leaving Nora to stall for a moment before she follows Ava in.

“She's not the one I'm worried about,” she murmurs under her breath, before following her best friend in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://thetruthaboutlovecomesat3am.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Please if you feel so inclined let me know what you thought about the first chapter!


	2. The first date (and the second brunch)

“Sara, do you actually think this is a good idea?”

Sara scoffs at Amaya's dubious tone. “It's a great idea. I had it.”

“So you can see why we're concerned,” Zari says innocently enough.

“Just because I stalked her a _little_ -”

“I told you that Nora told me she was going to be at that bar, and you showed up,” Ray corrects. “And you chased off a girl she was talking to. That's not a _little_.”

“She was taking too long to notice me,” Sara almost rolls her eyes at Ava's audacity even now, days after the event.

“Yeah, that's totally fine and normal,” Zari says sarcastically. “Can't see why Amaya is worried at all.”

“Listen guys, I got this. You were the ones pressuring me to ask out someone whose presence I actually enjoy.”

“Before we knew that you'd ask out Ava,” Amaya whispers worriedly. “Whom we work with. You realize there is no way this could ever end up fine for everyone, right?”

“Well, why not? Maybe we date for a while and then part amicably,” Sara points out.

“The fact that the words ' _maybe it works out and we're happy for the rest of our lives_ ' didn't just come out of your mouth are precisely the reason you shouldn't date Ava,” Zari says. “You already assume you're gonna date her, sleep with her, and dump her.”

“No, I don't. I know there's a chance it won't work, that's just realistic. Plus, you guys were the ones telling me I should date someone I liked. I like Ava, weirdly enough. And, you know, she's a grown up, she can look after herself,” Sara says, getting up to get a refill on her cup of coffee.

“Yeah, she's not the one we're worried about about,” Amaya whispers.

“Well, I am,” Ray says, sighing. “Ava only dates seriously and Sara never dates. Chances are, she's the one who's going to get out of this with a broken heart.”

Amaya sighs, glancing at Sara as she's getting her coffee refilled. She's typing something on her phone, completely ignoring the bartender who's been flirting with her the whole time they've been there, and smiling at the screen after she gets a reply. Amaya is sure something weird is going on, she just has to find out what exactly.

  
  


Monday has been a blissfully Lance-free day for Ava, and Tuesday is shaping up to be just as quiet. Well, they've been texting, but that surely doesn't count. Sara isn't nearly as annoying when she isn't actually there in person.

But then, Nora asks her in passing how things are going with Sara and when is their first date scheduled and Ava finds herself blanking.

“I haven't exactly... pitched a date, yet.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? You're the one who asked her out, right?”

“Right,” Ava sighs, then tries to cover it up with a smile. “Right. I'll text her, see if she wants to get dinner tonight.”

“Tonight? Are you insane? You can't be ready for a date with Sara Lance by tonight, Ava,” Nora looks at her like she's grown a second head.

“Why not?” Ava asks like she expects the answer to be ridiculous.

“Well, first of all, you need something to wear that isn't...” Nora gestures to her pantsuit “...this.”

“I have other clothes,” Ava looks offended.

“I'll help you pick something out. And you get rambly when you're nervous and talk about the most embarrassing things about yourself, do you really want to tell Sara Lance about what happened at your fifteenth birthday party?” Ava shakes her head vigorously. “Of course not! Then you need a list of small talk topics to get you through the dinner. And no decent date takes place on a work night, Ava.”

“Fine. Friday, then. I'll ask if she's free Friday so we can sort everything out.”

“ _We_?”

“You were the one who got me into this mess in the first place, talking me into dating someone I'd never fall for,” Ava accuses her.

Nora rolls her eyes. “Fine. We. But I'm going to make Nate help out as well.”

“Great,” Ava says, fishing her phone out of her pocket. She chuckles upon seeing the text Sara sent her and writes back to ask if she is free on Friday.

Nora eyes her oddly.

“What? Just because she's a menace doesn't mean I can't laugh at the memes she sends me,” Ava rolls her eyes, trying to ignore Nora's pointed look.

She watches as Ava walks away, frowning.

“This is gonna be a disaster.”

  
  


It all happens organically, almost naturally, quite on its own, so much so that Ava doesn't really have to think about what it means to go on a date with Sara until she's actually on a date with Sara. It turns out, shockingly, that it means that she is now on a date _with Sara_.

This, all of it, is, of course, a mistake.

They haven't even ordered yet and the silence is already awkward, Ava's dress looks weird and she feels like an idiot for even trying. Although, she needs to thank Nora for convincing her because if she hadn't been trying she would have been completely underdressed: Sara looks gorgeous. Which is another weird thing to notice that she can add to the quickly growing list.

“So...” Ava puts down her menu and moves a lock of hair out of her face. “Weird weather we've been having,” her voice almost cracks on the last word because, by the end of the sentence, she's realized exactly how lame it sounds.

“Yeah, it was starting to be warmer and now it's winter again,” Sara forces a laugh.

Ava nods, then decides the wisest thing to do is picking up her menu again and pretend she's reading something off of it.

The waiter saves her from saying something even lamer and they place their orders before going back to the tense silence of a moment before.

And now Ava doesn't even have her menu to hide behind. The waiter, her former saviour, took it from her. The traitor. So all that's left for Ava to do is talk. Except, when she opens her mouth, what comes out next is:

“The economy, am I right?”

Sara opens her mouth, then closes it again. Then snorts. “You might be, I know nothing about the economy, to be honest.”

Ava chuckles at her own choosing of topic and covers her eyes with one hand.

“I'm sorry, I-” she shakes her head and looks at Sara again. “Full disclosure, I tend to rant when I'm nervous and it's usually embarrassing stories about myself, and since I would then have to see you at work rather than just avoid you for the rest of my life like I tend to do, Nora has given me an approved list of topics to broach in silent moments.”

“And you chose weather and the economy?” Sara chuckles. “First of all, that's adorable. Second of all, what else is on the list?”

Ava tries to pay no attention to the way her stomach is reacting to Sara calling her adorable and decides, instead, to try and recall at least _some_ of the interesting topics. She also does her best not to notice how instead of pressuring her for some of those embarrassing stories Sara has given her the change to keep the comfortable small talk going, but of course she notices.

“Mh, let me think...” she blanks. Literally nothing comes to mind. Has she even ever had a conversation with someone before this very moment? What do people even talk to each other about on dates? Oh, God, Sara is still looking at her patiently but expectantly. She needs to come up with something, anything. “Uh... basketball?”

The joke lands and Sara laughs and suddenly the silence isn't as tense anymore.

“Actually, I do have a funny story about basketball, if you promise not to decide I'm boring you to death right away,” Sara says.

“Well, I'll try my hardest to stay alive,” Ava promises.

The story _is_ kind of funny actually, and Ava doesn't like to admit talking about sports on a date might actually even be kind of pleasant, with the right person. After Sara finishes her story, Ava thinks of an anecdote about her first martial arts lesson, and that brings them into the topic of weapons. Nora has absolutely forbidden this, but the question slips past her lips anyway, and when Ava asks:

“So when was the first time you ever held a weapon?”

Sara tells her the cutest story Ava has ever heard about a school play, Peter Pan, and tap dancing. Ava doesn't even have to think about the answer when Sara asks the same question, and the story of her fifteenth birthday party just slips through her lips, the thought of Sara using it as an embarrassing story against her never even grazes her mind.

There aren't awkward silences again until they're eating dessert. Sara's just tried her soufflé and has made an unholy sound, when she scoops up a spoon and says: “You have to try this,” and feeds it to Ava.

Ava eats it before she can think better of it and a moment later her cheeks are on fire. She looks away, tries to get her nerves under control again. Sara looks on the verge of apologizing, so Ava shakes her head pre-emptively.

“Look, there's no reason for this to be weird, you know?” Ava says, even as she still can't really bring her eyes to stick onto Sara's. “We can be friends.”

“You hate me, Ava,” Sara reminds her with a half-hearted laugh.

“I don't hate you,” she frowns, finally looking back at Sara. “Okay, yes, I was less than pleased they made a plea deal with you, but I can recognize you've been doing a lot of good work since you've been with the Bureau.”

Sara raises both eyebrows.

“And before,” Ava amends. “I'm sorry I've been... confrontational towards you.”

“Well, you've been kind of a jerk, yes,” Sara smiles. Ava looks at her almost affronted. “Fine, I've been childish around you just to get a raise out of you. And I'll stop, from now on. We can be friends.”

Ava smiles. “Good,” she steals some of Sara's dessert with her own spoon.

Sara looks at her in utter disbelief and chases off her spoon with her own when Ava tries again, and just like that, the awkwardness fades again.

  
  


Ava drops Sara off and then heads home, it's late already and she's looking forward to get off her ridiculous shoes and head to bed. But her life, as always, has other plans for her.

She turns the lights on and when she turns around Nora is sitting in the armchair, sipping tea and giving her a heart attack.

“Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss-”

“Oh my God, Nora!”

“Stop screaming, I live here! Surely this isn't _that_ surprising.”

“What the hell are you doing sitting in the dark sipping tea, aside from scaring the everliving shit out of me?”

Ava tries to calm her heart rate down as she shrugs off her coat.

“I was waiting for you,” Nora points out like it's obvious, then sips her tea again and clears her throat. “Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss I'll-be-home-super-early.”

“It's not even that late, it's barely past eleven,” Ava almost rolls her eyes at Nora's antics.

“It's almost one in the morning, Ava.”

She frowns, takes her phone out to check the time and... it is indeed 12:47 am. But Ava would never admit to losing track of time talking to Sara Lance inside her own car in front of Sara's apartment, so what she does instead is scoff and look like that was exactly her point.

“Yeah, see? It's not like it's three or something, it's basically just midnight, which is almost just barely past eleven.”

She can see from Nora's expression she is absolutely not buying whatever Ava's trying to sell her – which is still unclear to Ava herself, at the moment.

“So, how was your date?” Nora asks, smiling innocently.

Ava stalls. “Horrible, obviously.” Nora raises an eyebrow. “Fine, it wasn't horrible. It was okay. She wasn't as annoying as usual.”

“My, Ava, hold _some_ compliments,” her best friend rolls her eyes. “What did you talk about?”

Ava's mind immediately goes to the story Nora has vetoed from being told at any and every date she's been on and that she told Sara in a heartbeat when she asked. She squints her eyes and avoids Nora's eyes as she pretends she can't quite recall.

“Basketball?”

“ _Basketball_?” Nora gapes at her. “Well, at least this is over. There's no way you're going to keep this farce up just to have to sit there and listen to her talk about basketball, right?”

Ava still won't meet her eyes and she seems progressively more interested in some kind of stain on her phone's cover.

“Right?” Nora demands.

“I mean, I asked her out and she said yes, it would've been rude to say no when she asked me to go to the movies with her on Tuesday.”

Before Nora can rebut to that, Ava fakes a yawn and tells her how tired she is and how late it's getting and that they should go to bed so they can be up for brunch the next day.

Nora is still buying none of it.

  
  


They're in line at the brunch buffet the very next day, when Sara approaches her casually while Ava is trying to figure out what is exactly into this week's salad.

“So,” Sara says casually, stalling for a moment.

Ava hums absentmindedly to let Sara knows she's aware she's there. “What _is_ that? Why does Mona insist on vegan brunch?”

“Well, it's your people's culture, aren't you appreciative?”

“My people?” Ava frowns. “Oh, you mean lesbians,” two men and one old couple ahead of them turn at the word and each one glances at them in a way Ava doesn't like one bit, for obviously different reasons.

Sara smiles at the old couple, nodding to them in greeting and making them the right amount of uncomfortable to make them turn back. She then glares at the two men until they also go back to the buffet.

Ava is still trying to figure out what's in the salad.

“So, anyway, Amaya and Zari think we've slept together.”

“I don't think this is even a salad,” she mumbles under her breath. “Wait, what?!”

“Well, we were parked in your car outside our apartment for, like, an hour. Who stays in a car for that long without getting down to funny business?”

Ava squints her eyes at Sara. “You did. Last night. When we were parked in my car outside your apartment.”

“Right. It's what I told them,” Sara says as she takes Ava's plate and starts filling it with the actual salad, not even close to what Ava had been examining before. “But, you know, your car has blacked out windows and they have met me before, so they don't believe me,” Sara gives her the plate back and picks up a carrot.

“Okay,” Ava frowns, turning her attention to the hummus. “So just let them believe what they want?”

“What did you say to Nora?” Sara asks, filling the empty plate in her hands with everything vaguely fried she lies eyes onto.

“Nora knows I would never do that, especially not on the first date. She didn't even ask, as a matter of fact.”

“Right,” Sara looks like she's been enlightened. “I should just point out how uptight you are, they'll believe me immediately.”

Ava rolls her eyes and fakes a laugh. “Or you can point out your own personality and they'll have no problem believing I didn't want to sleep with you.”

Sara actually chuckles at that. “Fair enough. You almost done?”

“Yes, let's head back so someone else can have their turn.”

As they pass by the old couple Sara is quick to put an arm around Ava's waist and wink at them with a smirk that would make Saints look sinful. Ava balances her plate on her free hand to smack Sara on the arm. Sara chuckles, but doesn't move away until they're back at the table.

Ava feels that weird thing in the pit of her stomach again. Maybe she should talk to a doctor about anti-acids.

“So how was your date?” Mona asks once they all have their plates in front of them.

Nora raises an eyebrow at Ava and they all see Amaya and Zari exchange a smirk that says everything they can't.

“It went fine,” Ava says curtly. Sara elbows her. “It was okay,” she tries again, somewhat smiling at Mona.

“Ava came home pretty late,” Nora throws in casually.

“Well, funnily enough her car was parked outside our apartment for a very long time,” Zari says, giving Sara a smile that is less than angelic.

“We were just talking,” Ava says too quickly. Great, not suspicious at all. She can't say Sara warned her about the question, can she? “We were really just talking,” she says a little less hurriedly.

“About what?” Amaya asks, thinking she has them right where she wants them.

Ava and Sara look at each other for a moment, then back at her.

“Basketball,” they say at the same time, then turn to each other and start chuckling.

They're too engrossed in their inside joke to see the looks the other women exchange, but they do hear Zari whisper: “Yep, not suspicious at all.”

Sara turns back to them and says something that changes the topic, Ava wouldn't know what exactly, engrossed as she is in what she now recognizes that is finding a home into her stomach: butterflies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it’s been longer than a week but I kept forgetting I had to update! If you want to, please let me know what you thought!


	3. The second date (and the coffee non-date)

Ava, being Ava, offers to pick Sara up on Tuesday. Sara tells her they're going to be too late if they do that and they should just walk there from work.

That is the first problem.

But it's a problem she knows how to solve, the answer is actually the same reason she's in this very mess to begin with: Nate Heywood.

“Hey Nate, I need a favour,” Ava asks as soon as she very unsuspiciously said goodbye to Sara after they agreed on a time and place. “You need to get to my place and pick me up some date clothes for tonight.”

Many emotions go through his face in quick succession. “Why? I mean, very happy you have a second date but why do I have to go?”

“I'm in meetings back to back all day and Nora's on a... stakeout with Ray.”

“Oh, you mean a make-out with Ray, we all know they barely do surveillance on those,” he snorts.

“Well, that isn't my business and I'm not here to judge,” Ava points out. “And if Rip asks they're doing their jobs very diligently. But if anyone else asks, please for the love of God tell them to avoid ever hitching a ride with Nora, those back seats have seen some terrible, terrible things.”

“I've heard that now so have yours,” he gives her a thumb up.

“What?” Ava frowns. “Ew. No, ew! Why would I ever wanna do that with Ray?!”

“What? Ray? I meant Sara!”

“Sara?” Ava is even more confused. “Oh, right. That. No, we didn't- you know what, never mind, just get me a change of clothes. Thanks.”

Nate shrugs and nods.

So, problem number one is tackled right away. Now for problem number two, Ava has to find a way not to fall asleep during whatever boring rom-com they're marketing to couples this week, so Sara can't make fun of her for the rest of her life.

  
  


Ava's last meeting finishes fifteen minutes before she's supposed to meet Sara, so she has to change as fast as lightening. She gets to Nate's office on a mild sprint.

“Hey, you have my bag?”

“Of course I do, I'm amazing,” Nate throws a duffle bag at her.

Ava smiles, thanking him, and opens it quickly only to find...

“Nate, what the actual fuck?”

Inside the bag is yoga pants, a thank top, a loose shirt to go on top of it, and actual, honest to God, lingerie. Ava doesn't even own lingerie.

“Oh, yeah, that. I bought it, didn't want to touch your stuff like a creep so I got a new set. Sara's gonna love it,” he sing songs.

Ava smacks him with the bag. “Nate, how is this appropriate for a second date?”

“It's what Amaya wears when we have dinner!”

“Inside the house, maybe,” Ava sighs. “I can't believe you. I'm gonna have to go on a date in this pantsuit I've worn all day,” she grimaces.

“Well,” he sighs. “At least it'll work according to plan and you won't be too pretty and make her fall in love only to dump her after five dates.”

Ava blinks once. Twice. “Nate, did you do this on purpose?”

“No! I'm just looking at the bright side,” he smiles innocently.

Ava rolls her eyes, smacks him again with the bag, and leaves.

  
  


“Hey,” Sara greets her with a smile. “What's with the bag?” she nods to Ava's duffle bag she has thrown over one shoulder.

Ava grimaces. “Yeah, so, I asked Nate to pick up some clothes for me since I couldn't make it home between meetings and let's just say, he hasn't been very helpful.”

“What you're wearing is fine,” Sara smiles, looking Ava over. “I mean, it's not that gorgeous dress you had the other night,” she turns and tugs Ava along by the hand. “But you always look good.”

Ava rolls her eyes and tries to squash the butterflies rising again just with the power of her mind. “I'll just drop this in my car and we can go?”

“Perfect,” Sara opens the door for her on their way out of the building and in doing so lets go of her hand.

Ava doesn't miss it. She _doesn't_. Why would she? It's ridiculous.

They drop the bag and walk to the movies and Ava starts to think five coffees were either far too much or not nearly enough.

“So, you already picked a movie?”

“Yeah, if you don't mind. I wanted to see this and I thought you might like it, too,” Sara says, paying for the tickets.

“It's okay, date movies aren't really my favourite genre, but I can sit through pretty much anything,” she reassures Sara.

“Date movies? You mean like, straight rom-coms?” Sara grimaces. “No, we're not doing _that_ , we're seeing something we're hopefully both going to like.”

Sara nods to a poster and Ava sees the title. Terminator: Dark Fate. She looks back at Sara with hopeful eyes and Sara hold up the tickets to let her see for herself they're definitely going to that one.

Ava smiles enthusiastically and takes Sara's hand to urge her along. She'll have no problem staying awake through this one.

  
  


The movie's great. Sara's great. She lets Ava have half of her popcorns despite Ava saying she didn't want any, and Ava shares her drink with Sara when she notices the popcorns are a little too salty to go down without anything liquid.

They get out of the theatre talking about their favourite scenes and Ava doesn't think she's been this enthusiastic about a movie date since she was a teenager and those were the only dates allowed.

They're walking to Ava's car and are halfway there, when Ava realizes she doesn't really want the date to be over quite yet.

“Hey, you hungry? There's a place nearby I go to when I have to stay late for work, it's not big or fancy, but their ramen is to die for.”

Sara smiles up at her. “I'm starving, actually.”

They eat, talk about work, talk about Nate buying her lingerie, talk about this really cool art exhibit they could go to together on the weekend, and Ava finds herself making plans in her head of all the things she'd like to show Sara if she had the chance.

She won't, of course.

This thing between them has an expiration date and there's nothing Ava could ever do to change that. Sara doesn't date. And Ava is trying to learn how to do that, she's not aiming to change Sara, she never was.

She's fine with this being temporary.

For the simple, clear reason that she has to be.

  
  


She's maybe a little bit sulking when she gets home that night, but in her defence, she's been nothing but polite to Sara and has kept up the appearances that being friends is a nuisance and dating her is a farce, so that's a win.

When she opens the door, Nora is waiting for her. The light is on this time around and her face and tone aren't playful. Ava frowns.

“Hey, how was your date?”

“It was okay,” Ava says, looking at Nora suspiciously. “What's up with you?”

“Why don't you sit down?” Nora gestures to spot on the couch beside her.

Ava shrugs off her coat and goes to sit next to her best friend.

“Listen, me and Ray got to talk today-”

“You actually detached yourselves from one another long enough to have a conversation? I'm shocked,” Ava jokes.

Nora doesn't laughs. It makes Ava frown.

“Listen, remember when you went to that gay bar and Sara just so happened to be there? So, I kinda mentioned to him you were going out that night and that I was kinda excited for you, kinda worried about you. He mentioned it to Sara in passing. I don't know what she said to you, but she wasn't there by chance, Ava.”

She thinks it through for a moment, but the only questions that comes up to mind is... why?

What would her angle ever be?

“Look, Ray says she's trying to prove a point. That she can actually date and not just have one night stands. I know this isn't really serious for you, either, but I just thought you should know.”

Ava did know. But this is a good reminder, the cold shower she needed to remember exactly where she stood with Sara.

“Right. Thank you, Nora, really. But I already knew she was doing it for that reason, I wouldn't just date her knowing I would dump her if she didn't agree it was temporary. We've agreed this is casual, and no one will get hurt,” Ava smiles at her. “One more reason not to get attached, right?” Ava jokes, but it falls flat.

Nora hugs her and Ava hugs her back, but the very same question keeps coming up into her mind the more she tries to chase it away.

Why?

And, why her?

  
  


Ava needs neutral ground. Her car isn't good, neither is her office. She's made this mistake before: never have a conversation, that could turn into a fight, that could turn into an awful memory, somewhere you love to be.

Because chances are, you won't like that place the same anymore, after.

So Ava sends a text that just says “can we talk?” to Sara and then sends her the name and location to a coffee place around the corner from work she could easily avoid for the rest of her life if this goes awfully sideways.

Sara meets her there in ten minutes and, even though Ava had hoped she'd be willing to get there during lunch break, she's a little surprised at the quickness.

“Hey, everything okay?” Sara asks, sitting down in front of her and taking off her scarf.

“You knew where I would be,” it's all Ava says.

Sara frowns. “You texted me this place's name.”

“The gay bar,” Ava amends. “Ray told you I'd be there and you showed up. Why? Did you already pick me for this farce? You even managed to make me think it was my idea.”

Sara's expression goes neutral.

“No, it's not like that.”

“What is it like, then?”

Sara sighs. Tries to find the right words. Ava isn't sure there are any right words to explain this in the first place.

“Look, yes, I knew you'd be there, but I wasn't- I was just going to show up and annoy you a little bit like I always did, nothing nefarious, I swear,” Sara says and she seems to actually mean it. “But then I saw you with that girl and I thought you might need a friend. And doing this was your idea, honestly. I did _not_ think about fake dating my frenemy before you pitched it to me, I swear, Ava.”

“How can I believe that?”

“For one, I'm not that smart,” she jokes.

“Yes, you are,” Ava protests automatically before realizing her mistake.

Sara smiles cheekily, making her roll her eyes.

“And my friends didn't even really dare me to date someone for a while, they just told me I should ask out someone I actually liked. And ever since you came up with this crazy plan, I've had to convince them I was actually crushing on you this whole time, you know how hard that's been, when all we did was yell at each other?” Sara jokes again.

Ava snorts and rolls her eyes. “That's less than believable, I'd imagine.”

Sara ignores how quickly they all were to believe it though, and how little she actually had to change about her behaviour to made them think she'd liked Ava all along. She lays her hand on top of Ava's.

“It would have been easier to date some random person, don't you think?” Sara points out. “But I saw a way to help a friend – and a way to actually _be_ your friend and finally get along with you – and I took it. I'm sorry I haven't been honest about why I was there, but I wasn't there to trick you into dating me, I promise. I just thought if I admitted I was there to bother you, you'd take everything back.”

Ava sighs and looks at her for a long moment.

“Really?”

Sara nods.

“You promise this isn't all a master plan to ridicule me?”

“I pinky promise,” Sara says, holding up her pinky for her to take.

Ava looks at it for a long moment, then rolls her eyes and takes it with her own.

Sara smiles and tugs her hand so she can hold it between her own. “So, does this count as our third date, Sharpe?”

“No way,” Ava looks around. “This isn't very date-like. And our next date is Saturday after brunch at the art gallery, remember?” she points out.

“Right. No rule says we can't hang out without it being a date, right?” Sara smiles at her.

Ava wonders if enough coffee can kill butterflies and decides she's going to try and find out if it's possible.

“Exactly. Nothing about this says date,” Ava shrugs.

Well, Sara is holding her hand. They're drinking coffee together, after Ava has asked Sara to meet her at a predetermined location and now Sara's holding her hand.

But if this is a date, it means there's only one more left besides the gallery, and the thought bothers Ava in a way she can't explain. So surely, no, this isn't a date.

  
  


On Thursday night, she texts Sara “Are you up?” when it's nearly eleven and she expects either a rude answer or an innuendo.

“For you? Always,” the reply reads and Ava sighs. Innuendo it is.

“Can't sleep. Watching a documentary about penguins,” she writes back and waits for Sara to make fun of her.

Instead, her phone rings a moment later. Ava answers it without really thinking about it.

“Sharpe.”

“So, I'm watching the same documentary, and I need you to explain to me what happened to the little grey penguin's mom while I was in the bathroom.”

“Oh, Sara. Prepare for heartbreak,” Ava whispers dramatically and Sara fakes a gasp and she's already feeling a little better.

They talk for an hour, it feels like ten minutes to her.

“You sound sleepy.”

“No,” Ava yawns and rubs sleep from her eyes. “Maybe a little.”

Sara chuckles softly. “Problem solved, I guess?”

Her voice is so soft, she's trying not to startle Ava into being awake again, probably. Her laugh is soft, too. Sara is so soft with her. Gentle. Sweet. Ava can't stand how thoughtful she is, really.

“Thank you, Sara.”

“Thank _you_ , for explaining the bits I missed.”

Ava smiles. “Anytime, Lance. Anytime.”

She's already more than half asleep, and she's sure she imagines the “I might just take you up on that” coming from the other end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this should have been up yesterday, sorry for the delay I kept forgetting! If you want please let me know what you thought about the chapter and about the story in general
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](https://thetruthaboutlovecomesat3am.tumblr.com/)!


	4. The third date (and the non-date kidnapping)

Sara can see Ava’s a little distant during brunch and, despite their phone calls on Thursday and Friday, she feels like Ava’s still upset about the small tiny white lie Sara’s told her.

Well, not that small, actually. But it was still completely white, so much so that even now that Ava knows, things stay unchanged.

Sara wonders, sometimes, if Ava can see right through her, through the lies, through the facade. She wonders if Ava knows, because she’s a good Agent, great even, and now that she knows some of the things Sara has omitted, the truth is a matter of two plus two.

Her friends telling her love is worth the risk and to ask out someone she likes, plus Sara showing up at a bar Ava was at, equals... well, not fake dating for the sake of their friends, that’s for sure.

Ava might know. Ava _has_ to know. Maybe that’s why she’s been distant.

But Sara clings to the smallest hope she can grasp like a lifeline that can get her out of this mess and prays it’ll work out somehow. So she does what she does best and ignores everything she doesn’t want to deal with; namely, the fact Ava might know now Sara actually likes her. That she's liked her for a while.

“So, how married are you to the art gallery date?”

Ava considers for a moment. “Like, we’ve been hanging out but I’m ready to friend-zone it given the chance?”

Sara chuckles. “Great, because there’s this charity fair in my old neighbourhood and I was thinking we could go there with the excuse of helping children and finally find out who’s a batter shot with a fake rifle.”

“Really?” Ava asks, and finally her eyes sparkle again in that way they have since that night at the bar whenever Sara says something dorky. “Because I wanted to be mature and all, but the art gallery sounds a little... not up my alley.”

“You can say boring,” Sara chuckles. “It's a deal, stuff on whatever it is vegans eat for energy because after this buffet I’m kicking your butt.”

Ava rolls her eyes. “Yeah, sure, you tell yourself that.”

Their friends are talking about some thing or the other and Sara is trying to listen to Amaya going on and on about her date with Nate, but her heart’s not in the game. She’s trading stories back and forth with Nora and Sara vaguely registers a car being mentioned when Ava smacks her on the thigh, trying to bring her attention back into the conversation at hand.

“Nate calls them your make-outs instead of your steak outs,” Amaya chuckles and Sara realizes what question is coming next like life’s going on in slow motion.

She knows the second she sees Zari’s eyes glint with mischief and yet, she’s powerless to stop it.

“Speaking about cars,” Zari turns to Ava and Sara. “How are things between you two?”

“Oh my, would you look at the time?” Sara says instead of answering. “Come on, Ava, we need to hurry up or we’re going to miss all the best candy at the fair, let’s go.”

Ava doesn’t need to be told twice.

She murmurs some kind of apology and something about a rein-check on the gossip and follows Sara out, without pause at the absurdity of the excuse.

“You know, one would think as a former vigilante, you’d be a better liar,” she whispers as they approach her car.

“Yeah, well, one would think as an FBI agent you’d be a better shot,” Sara rebuts, making very little sense.

Ava frowns. “Are you trash talking me before you even beat me?”

“Well I can’t trash talk you _after_ , I want to be a graceful winner,” Sara grins.

Ava opens her mouth to say something, but Sara’s already getting in the car and Ava is left with no choice but to follow.

It’s when they’ve already been at the fair for a while, that Ava realizes, this is Sara’s neighbourhood, and she knows a lot of the people around. It’s not until one of them stops to chat with Sara and there’s an awkward silence when Sara turns to her and says: “This is Ava, my...” that Ava realizes what an awful idea this was.

“Coworker,” Ava supplies. “But I guess friend it’s fine, too,” she jokes, trying to play off the awkward pause.

“I’m Thea,” the girl says. “Nice to meet you. Hey, me and Roy are going to go get some ice cream, you guys want some?”

“We’re okay, we were looking forward to try some of the games,” Sara says, trying to dodge the double date with her ex’s sister that was just thrown her way.

“Cool, there’s a basketball one that’s maybe actually _not_ rigged,” Thea jokes. “See you later.”

Ava and Sara look at each other for three seconds after she’s gone before they start to laugh.

“I guess we have to,” Sara says. “I don’t know how this happened but it’s kind of become our thing?”

Ava rolls her eyes a little. “Ugh. Fine. But then we’re shooting some cans.”

“Sure,” Sara smiles.

There’s a long moment of silence and Ava gathers her courage before she can think better of it.

“So, listen, you can just say I’m your friend. It’s not weird that I came with you, right? And I imagine there’s a lot of people you know here that you don’t want involved in this so it’s okay if you just wanna say we’re friends.”

“Are you sure?” Sara asks cautiously.

“Sure, it’s true, isn’t it? And it’s no one’s business who you’re dating anyway.”

When Sara smiles at her, Ava bites her tongue and swallows back the correction about how, of course, they’re not even really dating.

Surprisingly, Sara beats her at the basketball game, but the shooting one is kind of a tie. Sara cheats at the one with baseballs and cans, but Ava doesn’t complain about it since Sara gives her the small keychain she’s picked out with her points: it is, of course, a basketball chain.

“I hate you so much,” she tells Sara, even as she’s already adding it to her home keys.

Sara smiles at her and takes her hand. “Come on, all the winning got me kinda hungry, let’s get some ice cream.”

In Ava’s mind, it undoubtedly is, as things often are when they’re out of her own control of course, Sara’s fault. Sara has this habit of dragging her around by the hand and it ends up looking like they actually might want to hold hands. Which is ridiculous, obviously.

But they’re in line for the ice cream, hands still clasped casually and Ava has just said something that had made Sara chuckle and swat her stomach jokingly, which prompted Ava to grasp her other hand as well. So they’re standing there, looking into each other’s eyes like utter fools, when someone behind them clears their throat.

Ava swears she actually hears the sound of their little bubble shutter.

“Sara, you came!”

“Laurel. Hi. Yes,” Sara steps back from her and turns to the woman. They hug, it’s stilted and a little weird. “I heard they were raising funds for kids from the Glades so,” she shrugs.

Ava doesn’t know what is happening but she knows she doesn’t like the awkwardness.

“Oh, this is Ava,” Sara introduces her eventually. “Coworker. Friend.”

“Coworker?” The woman inquires, offering her hand to Ava.

“The, uh, legal kind,” Sara says. “The FBI kind.”

“Oh, you’re one of the suits. Laurel, assistant DA.”

Ava shakes her hand, then pauses as the name clicks with the title. Laurel Lance. Sara’s sister. Black Canary. Ava knows of her. Of course, Ava knows of her.

“You’re Laurel Lance. Big fan of yours, of your work in the DA office. The Delaney case was memorable, been a fan ever since.”

“Oh, you’ve heard of it?” Laurel asks, pleasantly surprised.

“Well, I,” Ava shrugs and half smiles the way she does when she’s about to say something see thinks it’s a brag but it’s really not. “I handled the arrest and the case in general on our end.”

“Oh, you’re Agent Sharpe! I’m... well, I’m a fan of your work as well, then.”

Apparently, it really was a brag, Sara considers, judging from Laurel’s reaction.

“Do you want to grab some ice cream with us?” Sara asks Laurel. “So you two can keep geeking out,” she rolls her eyes playfully.

Laurel hesitates, then nods. “Sure, I’d love to.”

They talk about some of their shared cases and Sara seems happy to interject with the occasional joke, after a while the awkwardness vanishes and the three of them have a great time together. Sara and Laurel even hug when it’s time for them to head home, and Ava smiles and shakes Laurel’s hand again.

The car ride is silent. Ava wants to ask, but she’s afraid she’s going to say something wrong and ruin whatever progress they’ve made, to cut whatever thin thread is keeping this feeble friendship together.

When the car stops, Sara hesitates before getting out, then she shuts the door and leans on it. It’s a bit rude to go without saying goodbye, so Ava gets out too and circles the car to go lean on it beside Sara.

“So, I guess you know the story of how I died. The person I was with on the Gambit.”

Ah. Right. “I can _not_ know it, if you don’t want me to.”

“No, it’s okay. Things between me and Laurel have been kinda awkward since I came back. Since, you know, I slept with her boyfriend and all.”

“Yeah, I imagine that to be quiet unpleasant. But it’s been so many years, I’m sure she’s...” Ava sees the way Sara grimaces, and once again it’s a matter of two plus two, “...over it.”

There’s a pause and Sara can’t bring herself to look at her.

“It wasn’t many years ago,” Ava states.

“I might’ve had a... relapse, after coming back. It was stupid, I just left my ex-girlfriend and I couldn’t be with my family, and when Laurel found out it was... messy. Again.”

“Well, it’s still been a while, right?”

“Yeah, like a year. Then I almost died again and she had to forgive me. I poisoned myself. Couldn’t go back to the League.”

“I know,” Ava says before she can stop herself. “I mean, I can totally _not_ know if-“

“It’s okay, Ava,” she chuckles. “I want you to know stuff about me. It’s just mostly bad stuff,” she frowns.

“It’s not. You did a lot of good things since being back, as the Black Canary first, as the White Canary in the last year. As an FBI consultant more recently.”

“It doesn’t even begin to make up for the things I did,” Sara whispers.

“It will. In time,” Ava says softly. “What matters is that your heart is in the right place now, and Laurel will see that. You should, too.”

Sara looks at her and Ava smiles, before looking away. There’s too much emotion in Sara's eyes and she doesn’t want to say something stupid, like pointing out how pretty they look.

“Maybe. She seemed to like being around me today. Well, she certainly enjoyed being able to ask you all those questions, that’s for sure,” Sara bumps her shoulder into Ava’s.

“She was happy to be around _you_ , Sara,” Ava points out. “I was just the buffer.”

Sara looks at her again and the smile Ava’s giving her is enough to make her lean away from the car suddenly. Ava, a little startled, does the same. And that’s when Sara hugs her.

It’s weird at first, Sara’s standing on her tiptoes to circle her shoulders properly and Ava’s just standing there awkwardly still. Then, she relaxes a little and hugs Sara back.

“Thank you. For being the best buffer ever.”

Ava chuckles. “Anytime, Lance. Anytime.”

  
  


She’s closing the door on Monday morning when Nora gasps like something truly show-stopping has just been brought to her attention and Ava freezes.

“What. The hell. Is that?”

She turns to Nora slowly, half expecting her to be staring at something a neighbour has done or bought, when she sees her best friend is staring at her hands.

Ava looks at her new keychain and can’t stop the smile spreading on her lips.

“Oh,” she’s quick to drop the keys into her pocket so Nora will stop staring. “Sara won it for me at the fair. It’s a long story, just a dumb inside joke.”

Nora’s eyebrow skyrockets as she gives Ava an unimpressed look.

“Come on,” Ava sighs. “We’re gonna be late.”

Nora follows, but keeps looking at her oddly for the whole car ride.

  
  


Ava texts Sara Monday evening: “There’s a sports documentary on, I’m learning about the game of the basket ball” and she knows it will drive Sara up a wall.

Thirty seconds later, her phone starts ringing.

“First of all, it’s just basketball, Ava,” it’s the first thing Sara says without even greeting her when Ava answers. “And second of all, there’s a true crime documentary on right now, you truly expect me to believe you’re learning an entire sport by watching a documentary during the commercials of another documentary you’re watching?”

Ava smiles to herself. “Guilty. In my defence, I know plenty about basketball already, and the brother obviously did it, so I was skipping back and forth between the channels.”

“Are you actually clinically insane? He’s guilty, he doesn’t even have a brother.”

“The victim’s brother did it.”

A pause. “How dare you, he’s the nicest person on this entire episode.”

“He did it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re good at your job but you’re not that good.”

“You’ll see, Lance. I’ll bet you a daily morning coffee for the rest of the week. The good stuff, not the office’s watered down stuff,” Ava says while yawning.

“Go to sleep, you're clearly delirious. I’ll tell you who did it tomorrow.”

Ava yawns again, then wishes her goodnight.

  
  


Next morning, she’s talking to Nora in her office, Sara knocks and comes in, greets them, leaves a coffee on her desk without saying anything about it, then leaves.

Nora picks it up while Ava’s busy staring after Sara. _To FBI’s #1 Agent._

“FBI's number one agent,” Nora reads out loud Sara's messy writing on the disposable cup. Ava reads it for herself, then ducks her head, smiling, and looks to where Sara had disappeared to just a moment before. “What’s Rip’s coffee doing on your desk?” She teases Ava, but notices she's still looking off into the distance with a foolish smile on her face.

“Shut up,” she tells Nora softly after a moment, when she fully registers the comment. “I have almost as many arrests as him and I’ve been here half his years.”

“So, the keychain, the coffees... someone’s trying to make an impression,” Nora points out.

Ava fiddles with her pen for a moment. “It was just a stupid bet, Nora. I guessed the murderer on last night’s true crime documentary and Sara brought me coffee. It’s not a big deal.”

Of course, Nora knows, the coffee isn’t the big deal. It’s a subtle change in how Ava behaves when she hasn’t seen Sara during her day and when she has; Nora used to be able to map Sara’s movements according to Ava’s, based on angry sighs and bitchy remarks; now she can do so, based on barely-there-smiles and shining eyes. It’s the ever present reminders, Ava’s phone chiming up during lunch break or ringing in the evening when Ava’s already said her goodnight to Nora, the small brand new keychain Ava carries around and the way she touches it every now and then pretending to search for something in her pocket.

No, of course it’s not the coffee, Nora knows. It’s the writing.

  
  


Ava gets into the habit of calling Sara before going to sleep, if they haven’t seen much of each other during the day. It’s usually with some lame excuse or the other, but a couple of nights, when she can’t think of anything to say, she’d just ask, “How was your day?”, and Sara would talk about one thing or the other for a few minutes, until both of them would feel calmer.

Stating that, is, of course, unfathomable. So they just never talk about how often they actually do talk to each other, now.

It’s been a week since the fair and they had to cancel on book club brunch, since Amaya is home taking care of a sick Nate, and Nora and Ray are out of town for the weekend.

Ava’s phone rings just as she’s finishing breakfast.

“I’m picking you up, wear sporty clothes. Be there in a few.”

Sara hangs up before Ava can answer, probably to avoid the “hell no, I’m not training on my day off” that was coming her way. Sneaky jerk.

Ava groans, but gets ready nevertheless. When there’s a knock at her front door, Ava checks it’s actually Sara on the other side and then she says:

“I can’t open the door, a kidnapper is on her way to get me. She wants to torture me with Saturday gym.”

Sara laughs and Ava is tempted to let her in just based on how cute her laugh sounds. She clears her voice and tries to get a grip.

“We’re not going to the gym,” Sara says.

Ava considers it for a moment. “Where are we supposedly going, then?”

“Open the door and find out,” Sara says and leans on the threshold knowing she’s won already, based on Ava's curiosity alone.

Ava sighs. “Fine. But I’m going to complain the whole time,” she says opening the door.

“Oh, like a usual weekday, then,” Sara raises one eyebrow.

“I’ve never complained on a date, Lance. Not even when you less-than-graciously gloated after scoring higher at a fair game.”

Sara’s face falls for a moment. “This isn’t a date,” she says, trying to sound casual. “This is a kidnapping, remember? Just me and you hanging out, if you’re still in.”

Ava frowns. Then realizes, if this was a date, it would be their fourth. Their second-to-last.

“Of course its not a date, what was I thinking, I’m wearing yoga pants,” Ava chuckles. Then remembers Nate’s choice of clothing for their second date: yoga pants and the same loose shirt she’s wearing now over her sport bra, but with lingerie underneath. She blushes for no apparent reason. “I’m ready,” she says suddenly and grabs her keys, phone and wallet on the way out.

They take Sara’s car to a nearby parking lot and then Sara turns to her with her most devilish smirk to date and shows her a bandana.

“Put this on.”

“Ah, the new trend amongst my people,” Ava nods, putting it on and tying it loosely under her bun. “How does the bandana look?”

“No,” Sara chuckles, tugging it down on her eyes. “It's a blindfold.”

“No,” Ava tugs it up again indignantly. “Absolutely not.”

“Just for, like, ten feet. So we can get there without you guessing what we’re doing.”

“I already guessed,” Ava points out, like it's a given.

“Well, pretend you haven’t,” Sara smiles brightly and tugs the blindfold down again.

Ava lets out a super exaggerated sigh, but complies. Sara grabs something from the back, then opens her door and takes her hand, guiding her around the building they’re parked in front of and through a gate, making her stand still right in front of what she wants Ava to see.

She uses her index to raise Ava’s chin so the trajectory of her sight is just right.

“Ready? We’re playing-”

“-basketball,” Ava says less than enthusiastically.

“-basketball!” Sara throws up her blindfold for her scenic reveal.

“Yeah, I already-” Ava sighs, looking up at the basket. “I hate you.”

“Oh, come on, you’re gonna love this!” Sara laughs and puts the ball she brought into Ava’s hands. “So, first things first, let’s see how you do on free shots.”

Ava looks at her with the most unimpressed look she’s ever given Sara. She turns, aims and shots. Nothing but net. Sara stares at the basket for a long moment.

“Sara, just because I don’t like talking about professional basketball on a date, doesn’t mean I’m not going to absolutely destroy you at the actual game,” Ava tells her casually, patting her on the arm in passing.

“I was bamboozled,” she whispers, eyes still on the basket.

Ava laughs, and throws the basketball in her general direction. Sara, assassin’s reflexes and all, catches it with barely any effort.

The first few minutes are fine, but then they get competitive - not in a aggressive way, not by any means, but they start to try and show the other up with silly moves and weird shots that barely ever get even close to going in.

At one point, Ava even picks up Sara and drags her two feet away from the basket, and they just burst into giggles and laughters. When Sara looks up at her Ava realizes they’re so much closer than what she had thought. Sara is staring into her eyes for a moment and she goes serious and Ava thinks maybe this was too much, too forward. But, a moment later, Sara’s stomach grumbles loudly and they’re laughing again and stepping away, out of each other’s personal space.

“So there’s a food truck right around the corner, wanna grab a taco?” Sara offers. Her stomach grumbles again. “Or, five?”

Ava chuckles. “Sure, I’m starving.”

So basketball turns into tacos, tacos turn into a stroll through the park, the stroll through the park turns into laying on the grass telling each other silly stories, and before Ava can even realize time has been slipping through their fingers, it's already getting dark around them.

Sara drops her back home, she showers, orders take out, then drops on the couch fully intending on falling asleep mid-movie, when her phone rings.

“I know we just saw each other, but the dumbest movie I've ever seen is on right now and I need you to comment every single scene of it to me.”

There are a million things Ava could say to that, really. First of all, why would Sara sit through the dumbest movie she's ever seen, _again_? Why would Ava watch it just because she asks? And really, why would they even want to be on the phone with each other after spending the whole day together?

But what Ava says, instead of any of that, is: “Which channel?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... progress! Baby steps, right? Let me know what you think if you feel so inclined. You can find me on tumblr to talk about this story or send me prompts :)


	5. The fourth date (and the Netflix and no-chill)

Sara has wondered how long they can drag this out, hanging out with each other, calling each other almost every night, meeting up and never calling it a date. Maybe that's just the right move: never get to the fifth date, so they don't have to fake a break up and things can stay this way forever.

But alas, after two weeks from their third date, two weeks of nearly-daily phone calls and seeing each other during lunch breaks, Ava goes up to her one morning and gives her a smile that makes the world stop for a second.

“Hey, are you free on Wednesday?”

“I mean, sure, who makes plans on a Wednesday.”

“We do,” Ava smiles at her, “hopefully.”

Sara sighs. A Wednesday night date. She's eighty percent sure nobody in the history of the world has ever gotten laid on a Wednesday night date. But then again, getting laid isn't really in the cards for her, so any weekday is as good as the next one, really.

“I guess we do,” Sara says.

And it's not until she finds out why exactly it had to be on a Wednesday and a Wednesday only, that she comes to regret her decision greatly.

“I can't believe you're doing this to me.”

“We played basketball at a charity fair. I have a basketball keychain. I've even beaten you in a game of basketball. You _had_ to know I would get my payback sooner or later.”

“Not like this, I didn't,” Sara shakes her head like she's witnessing something inhumane. “I can't believe you're making me relive this.”

“Do you actually want us to leave?” Ava whispers, stepping closer to her, a smile playing on her lips. “We can get something to eat together and pretend like this never happened.”

Sara looks up at her and pretends to think about it for a moment. “Yes, I cannot possibly live through this,” she sighs dramatically even as she takes Ava's hand and drags her through the doors and into the theatre.

“You are so dramatic, it's no wonder they picked you to be the lead in this when you were a kid,” Ava shakes her head. “Fun fact, Peter is actually played by a woman in this production. And Hook is played by Wendy's mother, as it was the very first few times it was acted out. Hook was actually supposed to symbolize Wendy's troubled relationship with her own mother and only in recent times it's been played by Wendy's father instead.”

Sara stares at her for a long moment. “You even make Peter Pan nerdy.”

Ava rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well, I looked up ideas for a date that involved getting you to dress up as Peter Pan for days, so I have a weirdly accurate culture about the story, now.”

Sara smirks. Ava knows immediately she should have never admitted to that.

“Weird kink, Sharpe” Sara's smirk intensifies. “I might be into it.”

“Oh, hush, it's starting,” Ava elbows her and thanks every single deity she knows the lights went out just as she was starting to turn bright red.

The musical’s really good, not that Ava had any doubt. The reviews were all very positive.

It’s right about the time the kids decide to join Pan on his less than sensible trip across the sky, when Sara’s hand finds her own.

Ava’s first impulse is to scold her as she usually does when Sara drags her around, but this is different. They’re not really going anywhere. They’re just sitting there, holding hands, like they’ve done it a dozen times before. And, well, they kind of have, but not like this.

So Ava elects to shut the hell up and intertwines her fingers with Sara’s.

This is fine. Some might say, even enjoyable.

Sara ends up having a blast. They even do the bit where they have to raise their hands and then stand up to save a fairy. Sara’s enthusiasm is kinda cute, actually, and Ava makes sure to hold her hand again when they sit back down.

Once they’re walking out, Sara’s still smiling and Ava feels giddy in a way she can’t really explain. She’s humming the tune of Hook’s song and Sara hits her side with their clasped hands. Ava keeps humming.

“Stop,” she chuckles, getting in front of Ava and grasping her open coat in the process. “It’s going to get stuck in my head for days!”

Ava just smiles down at her with a raised eyebrow. “But that’s the beauty of seeing a musical! You have to have the songs stuck in your head for days, otherwise it was the wrong musical!”

Sara rolls her eyes playfully and then says, “It was definitely the right musical.” There’s a pause and when Sara looks up, on the verge of saying something else, stopping herself before she can, Ava knows something is about to happen. The air shifts and Sara feels closer than ever before, hanging onto Ava’s open coat and fiddling with one of the buttons. She gets up on her toes and kisses Ava on the cheek softly. “Thank you,” she says instead of whatever she was planning on saying and somehow it’s still enough to leave Ava a little breathless.

She steps aside but stays close. So much so that Ava can put an arm around Sara’s shoulders easily enough. Sara raises her hand to intertwine her fingers with Ava’s and, for some reason, walking hugged to each other comes naturally to them.

  
  


So their fourth date has come and gone, and Sara would much rather think about literally doing anything else than plan the fifth one, knowing it’ll be their last.

She doesn’t even have the nerve to call up Ava on Thursday, because what if Ava asks her out on the weekend and this is all over by Monday? She can’t let that happen. So she resort to an old tactic of her: deflect and avoid.

It works for almost seventy-or-so hours, since they’ve had to cancel brunch again, but when they’re texting on Saturday Sara mentions she’s watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Ava actually has the nerve to say, “what’s that?” Sara has never been so baffled in her entire life.

“Get your ass here ASAP, I’ll get everything we need for a marathon.”

Ava doesn’t answer to the text, but there’s a knock on Sara’s door half an hour later.

Zari’s playing videogames in the living room, so Sara drags her to her own room, where an open laptop and popcorns are waiting for them.

Before Ava can register they’re sitting in Sara’s bed, standing barely two feet apart, the first episode is already playing.

“That dude’s annoying.”

“He gets better, he grows on you.”

Ava hums, and keeps watching.

“She’s the only valid character.”

“She’s _you_ but Latina.”

Ava chuckles lightly, but doesn't protest.

“Now he’s the only valid character.”

“Just because he’s gay?”

“Yes.”

The bicker goes on and on. But, by episode three, they’re laughing too much to keep it up. By the Halloween episode, Ava’s hooked. This might just be Sara’s greatest accomplishment to date.

They order take out and pause the show just long enough for Sara to answer the door and come back with food and water. They get to episode _twelve_ – Ava thinks, she’s lost count after dinner – before her eyes start to close on their own.

Sara pauses it and turns to Ava, who’s fighting sleep with the power of sheer will.

Sara’s been on the phone with her before, when she’s sleepy and soft, and she’s always thought it was cute. But the sight in person of Ava curled into herself, rubbing sleep from her eyes, smiling softly, is enough to break her.

Because Sara knows, instantly, surely, completely, that this is the last thing she wants to see before going to sleep for as long as she can.

She gets up, looks for the longest sleeved pjs she owns and throws them in Ava’s face so maybe she’ll stop being cute.

“What was that for?”

“So you can change.”

“I can make it home.”

“If you get into a car right now, you’ll crash it and die and your ghost will haunt me for the rest of my days.”

“Not the rest of your days, just ‘til I find it entertaining,” Ava mumbles, half asleep.

“I don't want your ghost to haunt me at all,” Sara chuckles and pokes her until Ava gets out of bed.

She points her to the bathroom and then changes into her own pjs, before looking for a spare pillow and blanket so she can get set on the couch. But of course, as soon as she tells Ava as much, she points out the obvious flaw in her plan:

“Won’t Amaya and Zari notice something’s up with us if you sleep on the couch?”

And that is how they end up staying in the same bed, both wide awake and staring at the ceiling. Both trying to find something to say that would break the awkwardness.

“So, the economy, am I right?” Sara mocks the icebreaker Ava used on their first date and a second later they’re both chuckling.

Sara turns on her side and faces Ava, prompting her to do the same. The movement brings them closer, but they try not to act weird about it.

“You know, that night you said there was no need for this to be weird,” Sara reminds her.

“And since I’m always right I guess there isn’t,” she fakes a regretful sigh.

“Jerk,” Sara scolds playfully. “But we’re friends now, so this shouldn’t be weird. I mean, we talk so often, and we see each other pretty much daily. We know stuff about each other we wouldn’t tell just anyone. So this is nothing, really. We can totally do bed sharing.”

“We can kick bed sharing in the butt,” Ava agrees. “So what have you been up to?”

“Well, actually, I’ve been texting with Laurel more since the fair and we’re getting closer again. She mentions you a lot. I’m starting to get a little jealous.”

“Come on, your sister loves you!”

But it’s not her sister not loving her Sara’s worried about, as much as Laurel liking Ava just a little too much.

Sara must get lost on that thought for more than she realized, because when she turns to Ava again, she’s already asleep.

  
  


The next morning she’s up and about while Sara’s still sleeping, so she changes back into her clothes and is trying to decide if she should leave a note or send Sara a text she can read when she wakes, when Sara stirs.

“Hey,” Ava says softly and sits down on the edge of Sara’s side of the bed. “I’m heading out, I kinda promised Nate we could have breakfast together, he says he never sees me anymore.”

“Noooo,” Sara fakes an exaggeratedly sad face. “You’re leaving me?”

Ava chuckles. “We’ll see each other tomorrow at work, dork.”

“That’s so many hours away from now,” Sara grabs her hand and tugs it a little the way she always does. Except, this time there’s nowhere for Ava to go but down. She saves the disastrous fall with her free hand, but suddenly she’s too close to Sara to be able to think anything else but “freckles”.

“I’ll... miss you?” Ava tries to convince her.

“You better,” Sara mumbles.

Ava kisses her cheek like she isn’t freaking out at full volume on the inside and leans back up. “Text me when you wake up again,” she says, knowing full well Sara will just roll over and go right back to sleep.

“I will.”

Ava heads out and it’s not until she’s already halfway through the living room that she remembers a very important detail: Sara has roommates.

“Zari.”

“Ava.”

“Am-” she squints her eyes. “You’re not Amaya.”

“This is Charlie,” Zari supplies. “They’re Amaya’s twin.”

“Ah,” Ava nods. “Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” Charlie nods and focuses back on the videogame they’re playing.

Ava goes the rest of the room before she realizes she left her plaid shirt she was wearing over a t-shirt in Sara’s room, and on the coat hanger by the door there’s only her jacket. She’s pondering going back through the awkwardness in the room to get it, when she hears the voices.

“So, who was the hot chick doing the walk of shame? Another one of Sara's one night stands?” Charlie asks.

“She doesn’t do that anymore,” Zari says, “not since Ava. She’s Sara’s girlfriend, kinda. Sara’s been into her for months, she’s just not sure Ava feels the same.”

Ah, yes, Sara mentioned convincing her friends she has been into Ava for a long time.

“Really? I hardly believe it.”

“Trust me, even before they started dating, Sara was always talking about her, there’s been a distinct lack of one night stands ever since we all started working at the FBI. Sara’s head over heels.”

Well, that surely had to be an exaggeration. Sara wasn’t even that good of an actress, really. Regardless, Ava isn’t really one to eavesdrop, so she shakes herself off, turns around, and leaves through the front door trying to make as little noise as possible.

  
  


The following week, is what Ava can only start to refer to as “ _the several days of my karmic punishment for eavesdropping for five seconds_ ”.

She has a new case on Monday, two on Tuesday, one of her old cases gets reopened on Wednesday, and Tuesday... she's just pretending Tuesday has never existed.

Sara finds her on Friday at the vending machines two floors down from the offices floor – as far as Sara knows there's only rooms full of stock materials and three accountant's offices on that floor, nobody ever goes there, but Sara sneaks there sometimes just to get a coffee without having to wait in line or chit-chat with a coworker.

“What are you doing here?”

“ _Not_ hiding,” Ava answers too quickly. “Especially not if Rip asks. _Especially_ , especially not if Bennet asks.”

“O-kay?”

“A new case came in. Someone's going to have to be the sacrificial lamb and, judging by how my week's going, I know that if I'm anywhere near one of them when they have to name a name, that name's gonna be Sharpe.”

“I thought you were all over any new case? Trying to beat Rip's score?”

“Not this one. It's for a security detail.”

Sara hums and sits down next to Ava on the small couch as soon as her coffee's ready. “What's been going wrong with your week?”

Ava exhales slowly. “What hasn't? I've been swamped with work, Nora and Ray have decided they need to give poor Nate a break so instead of staying at Ray's every night they're staying at our's, and I've had to learn how to sleep with earplugs and still hear my alarm. Yesterday I've put in the microwave the exact same meal I've been putting in that exact same microwave in the exact same way for years, and it broke. And we haven't talked all week,” Ava adds after a moment of hesitation. “I'm sleepless. Microwave-less. And Sara-less.”

Sara looks at her and tries not to let her face show how cute she thinks Ava's being.

“I'll text Amaya I'll be out of the apartment tonight, she'll invite Nate over, and Ray and Nora will migrate to the empty apartment as soon as Nate tells Ray he won't be home,” Sara says, getting her phone and doing just that. “So you can sleep tonight, at least. And I know this might come as a shock to you, Miss Maintenance-is-key, but hardware sometimes just breaks. I've seen that microwave when you sent me that freshly made hot chocolate and marshmallows picture, it looked like it belonged into the last century.”

“I liked that microwave,” Ava sighs. “But I guess it was its time.”

“And I'm sorry about not calling. You were always so busy with work during the day, and I was feeling a little sorry for myself at night,” she makes a face.

Ava's attention suddenly spikes, and she turns more serious. “Why? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, nothing concerning, really,” Sara brushes it off. “I was just kinda avoiding any interaction you might want to use to ask me out.”

“Why? Found someone else you want to date?” Ava jokes and forces out a chuckle. Sara doesn't laugh. She can't even meet Ava's eyes. “Wait, did you?” She asks seriously.

“No,” Sara scolds her. “That's just it, Ava, I don't want to date someone else. This has been so good and we've had so much fun, it kinda sucks that we only have one date left.”

Sara looks down at her hands and plays with one of her rings just so she doesn't have to actually look into Ava's eyes when she says that.

But Ava's looking at her anyway. Their shoulders are nearly brushing, because of how close the small sofa is forcing them to sit, and from that short distance Ava can see each freckle, and Sara's perfume is getting to her head probably. There's no other explanation, because what she says next is:

“It doesn't have to be.”

It's barely a whisper.

“I know we can still see each other, but it won't be the same, you know?” Sara says.

“No, I meant, it doesn't have to be just one last date.”

She holds her breath for a second. But that second is more than enough to make her want to take it back.

Because why would Sara ever want to date her? She's a workaholic with a knack for petty revenge and scheming to fool her own friends. If she was Sara, she'd never date herself. Sara can do so much better than some FBI stuck up who clings to rules as a way of life.

And the rejection is going to be devastating.

“I mean, we said five to ten. Why does it even have to be five? It can be ten as well, who says we have to pick the lowest number?” Ava considers.

“Right,” Sara forces a laugh. “The lowest number is for losers. Weaklings. We can totally do ten.”

“We're the ones making the rules, so if we want to, we can make it ten.”

“We want to,” Sara says a little too quickly. “But I, uh, kind of wish I talked to you about this yesterday, now,” she makes a face.

“What did you do?”

“I booked us our fifth date. Non-refundable. At a set date. That might be... two weeks from now. So I could postpone this for a while.”

Ava chuckles. “Oh, Sara. Well, I guess we have no choice but to wait for two weeks for our next date, then. So in the meantime we can just hang out casually,” Ava considers.

“I was thinking the same,” Sara nods.

Neither points out how easily they could fit another date in the meantime and how this scheduled date Sara's planning could be their sixth, or seventh. Because that would still mean getting closer to the end faster.

So, instead, Ava says: “If Ray and Nora stay at Ray's, I'll have the place to myself.”

“I did tell Amaya I wasn't going to be home,” Sara points out casually.

“And we left Brooklyn Nine-Nine barely past mid season, I want to know how it ends.”

“What do you mean- Ava, there are other seasons. Like, seven.”

“Seven?! We have so many episodes to see! We can just go to mine's after work, we'll order pizza on the way home.”

“Is this an invite or an abduction?” Sara tries not to smile.

“Eh. A little bit of both,” Ava bumps her shoulder into Sara's. “That'll teach you to ignore me for days on end.”

Sara shakes her head, takes her hand. “Come on. I'll take the security detail job for you if they assign it to you, I just can't bare the thought of you on this floor forgotten by the Gods. Let's go back to civilization.”

Ava scoffs and mocks her and complains about it, but follows her anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So... progress! ...ish. Thoughts?


	6. The fifth date (and the Netflix and chill)

They get to Ava’s place separately, each taking their car for the sake of being practical. Ava makes sure to get off work first and gets there with a few minutes to spare so she can clean literally anything she can think of, starting from the living room and working her way to the outer rooms of the house, banning Nora’s.

She’s only had the time to put everything out of its place in the living room away, and to check her room isn’t in disastrous conditions, when there’s a knock at her door.

“Nora just texted, they’re staying at Ray’s,” Ava informs her casually as Sara gets into the apartment, dumping the stuff she’s been carrying onto the coffee table.

“My master plan is coming together,” Sara does what’s supposed to sound like an evil voice but it actually just sounds like a sore throat.

“Is it killing me with sodium chloride?” Ava stares at the snacks currently invading the table in front of her tv.

“I figured you wouldn’t have any snacks, and it’s illegal to have a tv marathon without any so I brought them just to keep you on the lawful side. If you don’t want any you don’t have to have them,” Sara says with a casual tone, throwing a pack of cashew nuts in her face.

“That’s not fair, you know I love these.”

“I also got you Brazilian nuts and I got me chips and candies, so we should be good.”

Ava rolls her eyes at Sara shrugging of her jacket and throwing it on the nearby chair. She turns on the tv and logs into her account, getting to the episode they left off on Sara’s.

Things are a little tense at first, at least for Ava. Admittedly, Zari and Amaya were an unaware buffer the previous week, the casual noises and chatter coming from the house that acted as a reminder that people were around, were enough to keep things cool and casual.

But now, in an empty house, completely by themselves, things didn’t feel casual. Ava had her mantra down, at least:

“ _Just because we’re dating doesn’t mean something has to happen._ ”

There was no rule saying that. And it was just them, so they didn’t really even have to sit close to keep up appearances in case someone walked in on them. In fact, there was an healthy amount of space between them. Enough room for at least _two_ Jesuses, in fact.

The problem is, in Ava’s mind at least, and really, as an objective fact as well, planets. Planets and stars and satellites and physics and gravitational pulls. There is just about no other explanation on why they get closer and closer whenever they have to move and sit back down.

When the pizza is delivered they sit back down at a reasonable distance, but every time they pick a slice up they settle back closer together, until Sara’s arm on the back of the couch, and it would basically be around Ava’s shoulders, if not for the fact that Ava has slightly slumped down, so it’s more that her head is resting on Sara’s arm, almost on her shoulder.

It’s late already and the soft light they have on, even paired with the light coming from the tv, does nothing to make the atmosphere friendly and casual. Everything around them is quiet and soft and cozy. Kind of romantic, if they would dare think about it that way.

And then, right about the time Ava’s mantra of “ _nothing has to happen, nothing_ should _happen_ ” has become a constant stream, Jake confesses he likes Amy and the season ends. Ava gasps, she clutches Sara’s thigh and stares at the black screen like she expects something else to happen.

“No! They can’t leave it at that, I want to know what happens to them!”

Rationally, she knows there are, like, six more seasons of this, but how is she supposed to go on with her life without immediately knowing what happens next? How is that fair?

Sara isn’t answering and for a second Ava thinks she might be just as shocked, until she realizes Sara must’ve seen at least a couple more seasons of this show. Why is Sara not answering, not making fun of her, not teasing her like she would in literally every other possible scenario?

And, when Ava turns, the reason becomes awfully clear.

Sara is looking down at Ava’s hand on her thigh and when she notices Ava turning to her and looks at her, her expression is anything but amused and scorning.

Ava is paralysed. She should move away, she _wants_ to move away, but the rest of her isn’t cooperating with the part of her brain panicking.

Sara’s so close. Her eyes are so bright. Nothing else exists at all but Sara, looking down into her eyes and then, so briefly Ava could swear she imagines it, at her lips. Nothing else exists but this. This moment, this feeling invading her chest and her stomach like wildfire, this look and this couch and this woman that drives Ava crazy most of the time. Nearly all of the time.

And right now, she’s driving Ava crazy in a completely new way, she could’ve never predicted six weeks ago.

Sara bites her lower lip.

Ava’s grip on her thigh gets involuntary tighter.

Sara tucks a loose lock of hair behind her ear and then moves her hand to gently cradle Ava’s head.

Ava knows it’s coming, it’s not impulsive, or forced, she has all the time in the world to realize it’s happening and to withdraw, turn away, or just speak up. She does none of the above. Ava waits. Hopeful and nervous and eager.

Sara bows her head and kisses her lips so softly it almost hurts.

When Ava shifts closer, when she grasps Sara’s shirt to make sure she doesn’t move away, the kiss gets firmer, and Ava sighs and sinks into it completely.

It feels like this giant weight it’s been lifted from her chest. This forbidden thing she had deprived herself of, she had been afraid of, finally isn’t scary anymore. In fact, it’s kind of amazing. It's _definitely_ amazing. It's better than amazing.

Sara grazes her lower lip with her tongue and Ava's lips part, they're full on making out just the right amount of time to get a taste but not fall completely into it, when the loudest noise Ava has ever heard in her entire life – or at least it seems that way – makes them jump half a feet apart from each other, only for them to realizes it's the show's intro.

There's a moment of silence, broken only by said intro, when Ava is standing there with a hand on her chest trying to calm her own heart rate and Sara's on the edge of the couch on the verge of her fight or _fight_ reaction, and what has just happened sinks in. Really sinks in.

And then Sara turns to her, a question on her lips, but when Ava turns as well and their eyes meet, all they can do is fall into a freeing fit of laughter.

Before they can do something bad, very bad, immensely bad, like thinking properly about this, Sara grabs the remote, pauses the show, and gets closer to Ava again. She traces her cheekbone with one thumb and leans in to kiss her firmly, albeit briefly. To make sure Ava knows she meant it. To make sure Ava has no room for the fear of regret.

She leans back, touches Ava's forehead with her own.

“It's getting late, I should probably go.”

Ava doesn't answer immediately. Her eyes open, then shift away. She traces Sara's collarbone and stares at it instead of into Sara's eyes, then her hand stops on Sara's chest, thumb and index finger still resting on opposite collarbones lightly.

“I don't want your ghost to haunt me,” Ava tells her softly, with a barely-there-smile.

It's the same thing Sara told her when she invited her to stay over, when it was too late and she wasn't comfortable with the idea of Ava driving home half asleep.

The thing is, Sara's anything but sleepy. She feels like every nerve ending in her entire body is ablaze. She's never been more awake in her life, to be honest.

But she also knows, Ava means it in more than one way. Because if Sara leaves now, Ava will be alone with a Sara-shaped hole in her bed and a billion thoughts in her head. She'll overanalyse this to the point of utter disaster. She'll find an endless list of reasons why this is an horrible idea and an even longer list of insecurities will act as a reminder that Sara probably doesn't like her, that Sara probably doesn't mean it, that she probably doesn't even really like Sara. She just likes the idea of her, the idea of domesticity Sara's giving her. And sure, nobody else has ever made her feel this way before, the way Sara manages to quell her nerves even over the phone, to make her feel at peace after a day of chaos, no one's ever even come close. But if Sara leaves now, if Ava has the time to go over everything Sara's ever said or done in the months they've known each other before they actually got close to each other, Sara knows she's going to find something that makes her decide this can't be real. Or good.

And a part of Sara, a very big part of Sara, wants to give her the space to do that.

Because if Ava goes over everything and decides she doesn't want this, it's better she does it now rather than after Sara's gotten her hopes even higher than they currently are – and they're on a pretty steady high now that Ava's kissed her back. Sara wants to give her all the time in the world to think it through and decide if she really wants this, decide if she's ready to actually try this, decide if this _can_ actually be real and good.

Because Sara also knows that if she stays, if they don't trace a line, if they don't talk about it after they've processed this, it will stay forever in the temporary-dating-but-not-really category, never to be dug out from it.

And if there's a chance, however small, however infinitesimal, that Ava might realize Sara likes her and maybe even realize she likes Sara back, is to leave. To leave and let Ava think about this for long and sleepless hours, days even, to let her avoid Sara for as long as it takes for her self scrutinizing process to be over.

If Sara leaves, Ava will almost certainly break this off in a day, or a week, or ten days. But there's that small, tiny, minuscule chance she'll actually decide to give Sara a chance and move onto something real. And Sara's tunnel vision can only see that possibility right now, she can only leave and hope life will be merciful just this once.

But then, Ava meets her eyes and softly whispers: “Stay?”

Sara knows, right then, she's going to lose the battle with herself. Ava hasn't slept well in days. And if Sara stays, fills the void, chases away her own ghost, Ava won't have time to overthink this. They can settle on a comfortable lie and stick to it, and go on the way they've been going for however long this can go on for. If Sara stays, if she gives up that infinitesimal chance of this working out the way she hasn't even allowed herself to dream it might, they can be happy for whatever little time they have left together.

She can have six more dates of this. She can cherish every moment she gets, hold Ava's hand any chance she has, maybe even kiss her again a few times. She can make Ava happy for a while. And, really, what in the universe matters to her more than that?

“Okay. I'll stay.”

Ava smiles and leans in and kisses her lips again and Sara knows, in her heart, in her soul, it was the right decision. It was probably the only sane decision she's made since deciding to one-night-stalk Ava Sharpe to ask her out and failing miserably. And it was how this was always going to end up anyway.

  
  


Ava's bed is big. Like, really big. It's huge. Well, reality wise it's not even six feet, but it feels like there's a crater between them a mile wide.

“So, wanna take a _which Brooklyn Nine Nine character are you?_ quiz?” Sara asks after the silence becomes too loud.

“Sure,” Ava picks her phone up and Sara does the same.

They choose one together so they're sure they're doing the same one, but that means actually getting close enough they see each other's phones, so they're not perched on opposites ends anymore.

They move through the questions together and Ava is still deciding on the last answer when Sara scolds at her phone playfully.

“Are you kidding me? I got Jake. I'm obviously Rosa, duh,” she turns to Ava.

She's frowning at her phone, locks it and puts it back on her nightstand. She turns back to find Sara looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, I got Holt,” Ava forces a laugh. “Makes sense, kinda.”

Yeah, Ava's never been that good at lying to her. It's another thing she has in common with Amy, and Sara's sure if she were to unlock Ava's phone right now, hers would be the picture staring up at her from the end page of that online quiz.

“Checks out, the both of you being emotionless robots and all,” Sara teases her.

“Hey,” Ava rolls to her a little and swats her abdomen playfully.

Sara grabs her wrist to stop her and without thinking, the same way she always does, tugs Ava along. The end result is them being so close they're basically hugging, almost pressed up against each other.

Ava's gorgeous. Her eyes are so lively and her hair looks so soft, thrown over one shoulder. And she smells so nice. Sara's enveloped by her perfume right now, lying in the bed Ava sleeps in every night. It's short-circuiting her.

Ava shifts, lying on her back, and she's the one tugging Sara now, until Sara's tucked into Ava's side. Sara fits there perfectly. Like she belongs there.

“Thank you for staying.” Ava finds talking at the ceiling easier than actually talking to Sara. “I really like having you around, Sara. I don't want to ruin this.”

“You aren't,” Sara is quickly to reassure her. “This is actually kind of perfect.”

Ava's soft and warm and Sara melts into the feeling of belonging and lets it envelop her completely.

  
  


They wake up the next morning still hugged together, and they even manage not to make it awkward. Sara mumbles a “morning” and pecks Ava on the lips like she can do this every morning and her entire world hasn't just shifted overnight.

If Ava's surprised by it, she doesn't show it. She smiles and tells her, “good morning,” in a raspy quiet voice. “We're gonna be late for brunch if we don't get up.”

Sara hums, and leans away to stretch. “Fine. But I'll be grumpy about it.”

Ava chuckles. “Come on, I'll make you coffee if you behave.”

They do get to brunch on time. Which is, by Ava's standards, fifteen minutes too late. They get to their usual table bickering about how Sara parked her car and the chatting only stops the time it takes them to greet everyone and sit down.

“I'm just saying, you should've been closer to the sidewalk,” Ava continues their bickering.

“I was inside the lines!” Sara protests.

“Well, it would have been safer, there was plenty of room.”

“Aw, you picked Ava up, how cute,” Nora chuckles.

“What do you mean, picked her up?” Zari snorts. “She stayed at yours last night, didn't you notice someone particularly annoying being around?”

“I was at Ray's,” Nora points out. She turns to Ava and Sara slowly, a raised eyebrow. “You stayed over?”

“We were watching a show and it got late,” Ava shrugs it off. “So, Mona, you need to tell us everything about this new guy you're dating.”

Mona's eyes light up and she keeps the table entertained for the rest of the brunch, but Nora keeps glancing her way every so often with a pensive look.

  
  


Two weeks seem long but they go by so fast. They work together more, now. And they call each other on week nights, some days they leave work together and hang out at one of their places watching Netflix. The weekends are still when they get to spend the most time together; they go for walks, have lunch at that new place Ava's been meaning to try for weeks, even do a little bit of sightseeing. They settle into life together completely and fool themselves into believing it can last like this even when the dating ends – minus the occasional make out.

Because, yeah, now that's a thing. It happens three times late at night on Ava's couch when they can pretend it's just a slip up. An accident. Like the first time. But it happens once when they're sitting on the grass in their favourite spot at the park they usually walk through and the playfulness of a moment turns into Ava kissing her and Sara is helplessly kissing her back for the most amazing moment of her day, until it slips away from them and suddenly they're just talking and joking around again.

When the designated Saturday for their date comes, Sara shows up to brunch with a bag for Ava. She meets her outside and Ava's barely parked when Sara opens the passenger's door and leaves the bag in the car, shutting it closed again.

“Ready to head in?”

“You're not even going to mention the bag you just put in my car?”

Sara smirks. “That's for tonight. You have to wear what's inside it.”

Ava's first thought is Nate bringing her clothes for their second date and the notion Sara loves nothing more than to remind her of the embarrassing moments in her life with dumb pranks, so her first response is fear.

“Relax, it's nothing that would make Ray blush.”

Ava snorts. “He blushes for anything.”

“Exactly. Just look at it later when you're at home alone,” Sara says and smirks again.

“You're giving me mixed signals about what you're up to, Sara,” Ava warns.

“I don't want to ruin the surprise, just look at it later when you're alone and wear it and read the note _really_ carefully and I'll pick you up at six.”

“It's something I have to wear and it has instructions? Oh, God. What if I don't want to do this?”

“Then we won't,” Sara shrugs. “I have a fallback plan, no sweat. Just look at it later and whatever you decide I'll pick you up at six.”

Whatever Ava was expecting to find inside that bag, it's not what she actually finds. Because what she finds is a grey vest, a dark blue tie and a post it that says “wasn't sure you owned any”. The note Sara mentioned is sealed and there's a fancy looking writing on the outside that says “Drew Bailey” and Ava's first thought is this a weird role-play of sorts.

She opens the envelope and the first thing she sees is an invitation to a party. Ava has never heard of the club or the owner, who's organizing it also, and is getting more and more baffled by the line. The second card is a character sheet with some information about Drew Bailey. Fancy lawyer, likes to mention the Harvard Degree to anyone who'll listen, also likes to help people and volunteers a lot, so at least not totally an asshole. The third and final card has a brief description of Drew's relationship with some other characters, including the owner and victim, a few secret informations and an alibi.

“Wait, alibi? Wait, victim?!”

It clicks immediately, as she actually starts to pay attention to the words she's reading and the idea of actually going through with this doesn't seem ridiculous anymore.

Sara's booked them a Murder Mystery Dinner Party.

  
  


“I'm Lucy Scott, singer in Mr R's club. Apparently everyone saw me reject his advances a few nights back and he threatened to fire me, so I'm on the shortlist of suspects.”

“Did you do it?” Ava asks.

“I can't tell you that!” Sara scolds playfully.

“Ah, you don't have to. I think I just figured it out anyway,” Ava smirks at her.

Sara stops in her tracks three feet from the entrance door. “Oh, God. What did I do. I learned nothing from that bet I lost on the true crime documentary,” she gasps. “You're going to make this awful, you'll have solved it in three minutes.”

“I won't,” Ava promises too quickly. “I'll behave and just be a lawyer. Did you know I went to Harvard?”

Sara chuckles. “So you said in the car. Twice.”

“Just getting into character. Am I obnoxious enough for a lawyer, yet?”

Sara laughs and tugs her along as they hurry along.

The location is kind of cool and there's a decent bar, they mingle with the other guests and it's not long before Ava notices some of them are kind of taking this way too seriously.

Two of the guys who are supposed to hate each other actually stage a fight, and even land a couple of punches each, before Ava gives in to her lawful agent side and separates them. The fake widow won't stop weeping loudly and it's so clearly fake it's almost painful. Sara and Ava keep getting grilled by a few hardcore players who seem dead set on finding out who the murder is before anyone else can and they're still trying to stick around each other despite the constant interruptions.

Everything still goes relatively fine and they're having a great time, until one of the guests has to leave for a real life emergency and one of the other players, he's supposed to be a frequent costumer, starts making a fuss about it with one of the organizers, insisting she was the murderer and left just because she was losing the game as he was onto her. Obviously the assistant did it. She was, in his opinion, surely sleeping with her boss as all assistants do.

Ava is already about to go off on him when he starts complaining about the rest of the guests as well.

“Half of them aren't taking it seriously, the manager has been quiet the whole time, the widow keeps acting like shit, the lawyer and the singer have been flirting with each other all night rather than playing, and the assistant, who was the murderer, just left!”

“Will you just ease up,” one of the other guests scolds him. “Some of us are actually trying to enjoy this. Maybe the assistant wasn't the murderer anyway.”

“Of course she was, I've played thirteen of these games already, I'm an expert!”

“No, she wasn't,” Ava says.

“I agree, the assistant did it,” another one says.

“No, she couldn't have,” Ava states again calmly.

“Oh, please, you barely paid attention all night, lady!” The frequent-costumer says. “I know what I'm talking about, ok? Leave things you don't understand to the pros.”

“You're gonna regret saying that,” Sara whispers, already knowing what is going to happen next.

“The _manager_ obviously did it,” Ava tells him like she's explaining this to a kid. “He's been quiet on purpose! The exaggerate fake crying of the wife is because she was having an affair with the bouncer, who's been bringing her water all night, but you were too busy investigating the hot assistant to notice! The singer and the assistant both refused Mr R's advances and they were both threatened with losing their jobs, it's only fair to assume the manager was probably reserved the same treatment, the guy's done his best to clue us he's broke so he couldn't afford to lose the job, so he murdered Mr R. He stole the keys the assistant said she lost, he was the one to steal the bouncer's gun, and his alibi can't be corroborated by any other player.”

The frequent-costumer scoffs at her. “It's never for money, these things needs to be scenic. Passionate. Right?” he turns to the organizer he was complaining to.

The organizer smiles. “Great! Looks like the guests win and the murderer loses, congrats everybody, enjoy the rest of your night, please note that we offer a celebratory drink to our winning costumers. Sir feel free to leave if you're not having fun,” she says to the frequent-costumer.

Some of the other guests congratulate Ava on how quick she was to figure it out. They think it best not to mention what Ava actually does for a job.

  
  


“So, you held off way more than I thought you would,” Sara tells her after she's parked outside Ava's apartment. “How early did you figure it out?”

“Not that early,” she tries to brush it off, but Sara keeps staring. “Fine, I had my theory an employee did it the moment you told me your backstory, I ruled out the bouncer because of his affair with the widow, I ruled out the assistant because of her alibi.”

“How did you rule out me?”

“Well, before going in I asked you if you did it. You said you couldn't tell me, but if you had done it, you'd have said ' _of course I didn't do it_ ', because of the first instinct any criminal has. Deny, deny, deny once more, even in the face of disarming evidence.”

Sara is still staring at her, half amused half mesmerized. “I knew you'd win. You're really amazing at this.”

“Just a lot of practice. And a little bit of luck; you could've just as easily been the murderer.”

“Don't sell yourself short, it's not luck. It's instincts.”

Ava smiles, kind of shyly. “It's still early. Nora's at Ray's. Wanna come in for a bit?”

Sara doesn't think this is a good idea. Spending the night flirting with a different Ava has made her fall a little bit harder for the original one, if she's honest. And they've already been tethering a dangerous line. But when Ava looks at her, hopeful and sweet, Sara finds herself answering: “Sure.”

  
  



	7. The sixth date (and the sixth date: reprise)

After their date on Saturday Sara ends up sleeping over and they spend Sunday as a lazy day in, just chatting and watching tv and by the time they realize the day it's over it really makes no sense for Sara to head back home. She even has a change of clothes in the car – a precaution from Saturday's dinner, in case she wanted to change from Lucy Scott back to Sara.

Zari looks her up and down on Monday morning and Amaya and Ray look just as confused as Sara feels.

“So. You keep clothes at Ava's now?”

“What?” Amaya and Ray both turn to Sara.

“No,” Sara says like it's obvious, “I had a change in the car in case I wanted to get out of the dress I had on Saturday.”

“You've been at Ava's since Saturday?!” Ray asks, but they all elect to ignore him.

“So what did you wear all day yesterday?” Zari raises both eyebrows at her. “Or was it more of a birthday suit kinda day?”

“ _Zari_.” Sara sighs, exasperated. “I have one pair of pj's there, okay? I wore those, we just watched tv and talked and she even made me read a newspaper.”

“And nothing else happened?”

Sara hesitates. Her mind flies to the previous morning, when she woke up in Ava's arms and kissed her good morning like she'd done a couple of times before. They had stayed in bed half the morning, talking softly while still half asleep.

Ava wasn't really the kind of person to spend a day just doing nothing, but Sara had complained so much about getting up she had managed to convince her to “stay in bed just five more minutes” for two hours.

Sara hasn't tried to push her luck, since they still haven't talked about the fact that, ever since they kissed two weeks before, now it sometimes happens again. But even just being close to Ava is making her feel weird. Warm and peaceful and giddy.

“No,” she lies. “Nothing I can think of.”

“Now you even lie as badly as her,” Amaya teases her.

“Well, it was just, you know- we were just- Rip! Hi! Just the man I was looking for, I need to ask you a few questions about this case... sorry guys gotta go, talk later?” Sara walks with him until they turn the corner and then just tells him, “You know what, I just realizes, I can just ask Ava. Thanks anyway,” and scatters.

She wonders how long she can keep up with her masterplan of deflecting and avoiding.

  
  


Amaya seeks out Nora during their lunch break to inform her that something is most definitely up with Sara and Ava.

But of course, Nora doesn't know Sara actually really likes Ava and Amaya has no idea why Ava is even doing this in the first place, and neither wants to admit what their friend is actually up to, so the conversation goes basically like this:

“So, Sara and Ava.”

“Yep. Things seem to be going great.”

“And that's great. Sara really likes her. And I mean _really_ likes her. She's never been this serious about anyone the whole time I've known her.”

“Ava likes her, too,” Nora nods. “I've never seen her so taken with someone after just a few weeks of dating. It usually takes her a couple of months to even let anyone see her room, let alone sleep there as often as Sara does.”

“Right, right. So they're going pretty steady, pretty fast,” Amaya nods.

“They are. I mentioned it to Ava and she told me I worry too much and that this is just standard lesbian timing,” she snorts. “But yes, it seems fast.”

“We all love them, you know, they're our friends. So I was thinking, _maybe_ , we could have a double... well, triple date.”

“They'll never agree. But let's say I knew where they were going for their next date, if we were to be in the same place that wouldn't be their call.”

“Do you know where it'll be?”

“Well,” Nora nods to herself. “I can find out.”

  
  


Sara finds it hard sometimes to reconcile the idea she had of Ava up until two months before with the woman whose bed she's sitting into and who's currently squealing at her laptop.

“I can't believe they ended the season like that! I have so many questions! But on the bright side, they kissed, so there's that. I was getting worried about them when she said she didn't want to date a coworker and then with them getting all weird when they pretended to date undercover.”

“Look who's rooting for the annoying dude now,” Sara tries to tease her but it sounds mesmerized and enchanted. She can't help but be glad Ava seems to think not wanting to date a coworker for the sake of the status quo is not the right call.

Ava leans down and into Sara, who's slumped against the headboard. She rests her head on Sara's shoulder. “I'm sorry, I didn't think I'd be so invested. It's silly.”

Sara hugs her closer. “It's not. I'm pretty invested, too.”

Ava traces her collarbone and then the curve of her neck with a gentle finger, then looks up into her eyes. “Sara, I-”

There's a knock at the door and Nora opens it before they have time to act like they were actually looking at the screen. Ava leans up and pauses it, clearing her voice and putting some space between them.

“Sorry, thought you were alone.”

“It's okay, we were just-” Ava points to her laptop. “What's up?”

Nora squints her eyes for a moment, but lets it go. “I was thinking about planning a girls night out, are you always free this week?”

“Yes, except for Thursday. Me and Sara have a date.”

“We do?” Sara asks.

Ava swats her leg playfully and smiles down at her. “You know we do, I've told you we were going somewhere.”

“Ah, I guess we do then,” Sara smiles at her innocently. “And where exactly are we going?”

“You know I won't tell you,” Ava chuckles. “Anyway, any other night is fine by me, better if we don't have work the next day.”

“Perfect,” Nora smiles, still eyeing them oddly, then leaves.

Ava settles back against her, the laptop is all but forgotten.

“Did you want to tell me something?” Sara wonders.

The answer to that is complicated, because Ava always wants to tell her something. But telling her _this_ , it's an awfully bad idea. Ava really shouldn't. She shouldn't tell Sara she wants this to be real despite everything. Despite them being coworkers. Despite them seeing life in such a different way.

“Slipped my mind. Maybe it wasn't important. Ready to settle in?”

Sara smiles as Ava leans back against her, and tries not to dwell too much about missed chances.

  
  


The pub Ava's picked doesn't really seem special at first glance, but Sara would think anywhere's perfect if Ava's taking her.

They get beers and are about to order some food, when a voice they know all too well distracts them from their menu's.

“Hey guys,” Nora greats them. “What a weird coincidence we ended up in the same pub!”

Ava looks around for a moment. It's worse than she thought: it's not just Ray, but Amaya and Nate, and Zari and Charlie are here as well.

“Nora. How...” Ava doesn't want to ask how she found them, because that would give up that Ava's very suspicious of this “coincidence” but she also wants to know how they've all just managed to show up at a pub on the other side of town knowing they'd be there. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you know, we just wanted to try a new place. So, should you just join us?” Nora smiles at them like the others aren't clearly already getting an eight seats table ready.

“We'd love to but, you know, I just remembered-” she tries to think of something that would get them the hell out of there as quickly as possible. “We don't want to.”

Sara snorts and takes over. “It's okay, we'll join you guys. Give us a moment?”

Nora gives Ava a look and then nods, walking away.

“You know I haven't just dragged you here because this is just any pub, right?” Ava asks. “I don't want an audience.”

“Why not? What's happening?”

Ava hesitates. “It's trivia night.”

“So? We'll totally kick their butt, even with Ray and Nate against us. Come on, it'll be fun, they're our friends. And they're here already, we can't really just say no. We'll have our date another night,” Sara smiles and waves the waiter over to explain they're switching tables.

Ava sighs, but follows.

The dinner is pretty uneventful, they have fun and Ava does her best not to sulk. They even start to have fun, teasing Nate for how much of a messy eater he is and Ava and Zari get to talk for a while and realize they get along quite well.

That is, until Ava sees someone approach the makeshift stage.

“So listen, this was supposed to be kind of a joke?” Ava whispers to Sara, making sure their friends are engrossed in other conversations. “I thought it'd be just us and we could make fun of it or laugh it off or, you know, if you were into it maybe even play. I didn't think that Nora would stalk us here, and I'm sorry. We can- we could leave, if-”

“Ava, it's just trivia night,” Sara whispers back.

“It's not _just_ trivia night.”

When the man starts talking, all their friends turn to him. Sara frowns slightly to Ava, then does the same.

“Welcome! So, as you might know already, being here and all, tonight is trivia night! We've got quite the turn up, I'd say,” he looks around the crowded pub. “This has been requested for quite some time now and we decided to try and set this up. We're proudly hosting our first ever Star City's vigilantes themed trivia night! We've got questions about them all, we've got Green Arrow, Spartan, Arsenal, Speedy, Black Canary, White Canary, Mister Terrific, Watch Dog and even the Atom!”

Sara raises an eyebrow and turns back to Ava. “You found me a me-themed trivia night?” She tries not to chuckle.

“Not just you-themed,” Ava protests. “Vigilante-themed,” like that's much different, or not equally as cute.

“I thought you hated vigilantes?”

“Well, I like one vigilante whom I had an hunch might be into a self-themed trivia night?”

“Oh, Ava,” Sara smiles and kisses her cheek. “This is kind of amazing.”

Ava smiles and circles Sara's shoulders with her arm to hug her closer. When they become aware of their surroundings again, their friends are, not even subtly, staring at them. Sara tries to brush off what they probably just saw, which was Sara tenderly kiss Ava's cheek and look at her with starry eyes.

“You suckers, me and Ava are going to kick you butt. You thought you were crashing our date but now you're just going to add on to the people we beat.”

“We talked about this, you can't trash talk _before_ you win,” Zari rolls her eyes.

“We want to be graceful winners, so we're gonna trash talk you before we actually destroy you and then we'll act casual about it,” Ava tells her, knowing that's Sara's M.O., and then raises her hand so Sara can high five her.

And they would have won by a landslide. If they hadn't been distracted mid game by a question that had led them to get lost into their own world.

“So you can ride motorcycles?” Ava raises an eyebrow, a glint in her eyes.

“Want me to take you for a ride?” Sara gets closer to whisper into her ear: “I'll follow all of the road safety norms.”

“Oh, you know just what to say to me,” Ava smiles, but her hand lands on Sara's thigh of its own volition and she slides closer.

“Well, I mean, we genuinely could. There's this amazing place that you can't reach by car-”

Ray cheers and it brings them back to reality.

“Will you hush, they were finally distracted!” Zari scolds him.

Ava clears her voice and just like that, they're back in the game. After missing three questions in favour of flirting with each other. But they still win, so there's that.

  
  


“What the hell was that?” Ava asks as soon as they're through their front door.

“Okay, before you get mad-” Nora tries to calm her down.

“I'm already mad!” Ava points out. “How did you know where we'd be?”

“Well, I might have turned on the find-my-friends app on your phone the other day?”

“Nora! Why?”

“Amaya and I wanted to see how things were going and you two never talk about this with us! We got desperate, okay? I'm sorry.”

“Why didn't you just ask?”

“Because you'd say what you always say. Things are going well. You both know this thing will end at some point. You're not getting too attached.”

Ava closes her eyes and sighs. Nora's expression turns to empathetic.

“Oh, Ava.”

“Why do I always do this?” she lets herself fall into the couch. “I really like her, Nora. And I know she doesn't do relationships and that this is all just to prove that we're the way we are by choice, but it's _so_ hard.”

“Ava, this isn't what me and Nate meant. You know, it was different with Mandy. You could barely stand her sometimes, but you still thought 'meh, good enough', and dated her on and off for, like, a whole year. This isn't the same.”

“No,” Ava admits. “It's not. I can barely stand Sara _all_ of the time.”

“Ava.”

“Fine. She's hard not to like, okay? She's funny and sweet and attentive. She's amazing.”

“You hated her two months ago,” Nora points out. “I don't mean you don't actually like her, but maybe this is somewhat connected with how invested you get. Think it through, ok? Before you pour your heart out to her and get it broken.”

Ava sighs and nods. “I am, I've thought it through many, many times. There's no point. Sara doesn't really do relationships. This'll be good for me, eventually. I can learn how to date casually.”

“Yeah,” Nora says quietly, “but this doesn't look casual.”

“Well, it's gonna have to be.”

  
  


“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“It was Amaya's idea,” Zari says immediately.

“I just wanted to make sure you two weren't just-”

“Casual? You guys know we are,” Sara points out. “And bringing Nora into this is dangerous, what if she finds out we aren't serious and Ava just dumps me?”

“Isn't she gonna dump you anyway soon enough? Isn't that what you mean by casual?” Zari says, then regrets it immediately.

“I was about to say,” Amaya steps in, “we wanted to make sure you two weren't just hurting each other. But you aren't. You looked happy.”

Sara's anger kind of evaporates at the mention of that. “We are,” she smiles. “When it's just us, everything's perfect. But she's just... never going to change her mind. She needs to prove something to herself and to everyone else. That she isn't just going to settle for someone who isn't good to her, just for the sake of settling down. So it doesn't matter that we're happy, really.”

“Of course it does,” Amaya says. “It _has_ to.”

Sara shrugs. “It won't matter in a few more dates,” _exactly four_ , Sara thought. “And I have to be okay with that, I have to be able to respect that.”

“What happened to ' _we part amicably_ '?” Zari mocks her. When Sara looks away, both her and Amaya instantly know. “Shit.”

“Oh, Sara. You didn't.”

“I had no choice,” Sara sighs. “She made it impossible not to. She's just such a dork, you know? And she's so smart, and so sweet. I had no choice but to love her.”

“Did you tell her?” Zari asks.

Sara scoffs. “No, of course I didn't _tell her_.”

“Will you, before it's too late?” Amaya presses on.

“No. Maybe. Should I?”

“Yes!” They say at the same time.

“Well. Maybe. We'll see. Stop stalking us and let me handle this, okay? We're grown ups, we can sort this out ourselves.”

When the door to her room closes, Zari turns to Amaya. “Can they?”

“Most definitely not. But what could we ever do about it?”

  
  


They've postponed brunch to Sunday, so that Saturday Ava picks her up and drives them to what looks like an awfully regular restaurant, but after last time Sara isn't sure she can predict Ava's moves anymore.

“I thought I'd make it up to you for Nora getting all our friends to crash our last date,” Ava tells her once they're standing in front of the place. “I know trivia night was more my thing, but this should be right up your alley.”

“Well, Amaya's partially to blame. Plus, I had a great time, you don't need to make it up to me, really.”

“So you wanna head home, or?” Ava bluffs.

“No! You know I love food, and I would never say no to a bonus date. Plus, judging by the other night, I'm guessing you have something up your sleeve.”

Sara's looking at the entrance suspiciously, like she expects it to turn into something completely different, when she feels Ava circling her waist with an arm and leaning into her to whisper in her ear in a low voice that fucks Sara up:

“It's all you can eat chicken wings, and I'll buy you all the beer you want.”

“Oh Lord, that went straight to my-” she clears her voice, “-stomach. Let's go eat.”

Sara drags her along trying to brush off Ava's effect on her, that she can only come to describe as disarming.

They eat so many wings they get out of there after two and a half hours and Sara's about ready to pass out.

“How are you not dying,” Sara whines as Ava drives them back.

“Because I hate half as many as you did.”

“Because you're weak. I won at chicken wings.”

Ava chuckles. “Sure you did, babe,” the pet name slips out and it's to late to take it back so Ava just goes with it. “You wanna take a stroll so you can actually digest those wings?”

“Yes, please.”

They end up spending the whole day together, talking about everything and doing nothing, and somehow managing to fall even more in love with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> (btw, could you tell I was really in a chicken-wings-craving mood when I wrote this?)


	8. The seventh date (and the hospital visit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please note this is the chapter where this story earn its rating. If that's not your thing feel free to skip the second half of this!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note this is the chapter where this story earn its rating. If that's not your thing feel free to skip the second half of this!

Sara doesn't show up for brunch on Sunday and Ava doesn't see her at work Monday or Tuesday. It's not helping that Sara still hasn't replayed to the text Ava sent her Sunday night. She doesn't want to double text, she's sure there's a reason Sara isn't answering. Even if that reason might be Sara doesn't want to talk to her.

Maybe she did something wrong, or said something that gave away how invested she is in them, or something just as stupid, she's sure.

After days of radio silence, her phone rings on Tuesday afternoon with Sara's personalized ringtone and Ava is a little ashamed to admit how fast she dashes to answer.

“Sara, you okay?”

From the other end all that comes is a soft “Hey.” There's a long pause and Ava knows something's wrong before Sara even says it. “It's my dad. He got shot on duty, me and Laurel have been here at the hospital for two days.”

“My God, Sara, I'm so sorry. Is he okay?”

“He is, now. He's out of his second surgery and he woke up. Just fell asleep again, so I thought I'd call you while Laurel is getting us coffees.”

“Is there anything at all I can do?”

“Not really, I don't think so. Me and Laurel are probably going to start taking turns, I'll tell her to go home for the night and I can get home in the morning and shower and change.”

Ava hesitates. “You'll be there alone all night?”

“Sure, I'll keep my dad company until he falls asleep.”

Ava doesn't like how that sounds. “At least let me bring you something to eat.”

Sara protests but it's empty and tired and Ava's already halfway to her car by the time she actually convinces Sara to let her help.

She's already on the ward, asking a nurse where the right room is, when she stumbles into Laurel leaving.

“Ava! They're right there, last room on the left, you can't miss it.”

“Thank you, Laurel. You're heading home?”

“Yeah, I didn't want to leave Sara alone, but she can be so stubborn.”

“Tell me about it,” Ava smiles. “I brought you dinner as well, didn't know if you'd want to eat with them.”

“Them? You're not staying? I agreed to go partly because I thought she'd at least have a friend here for a while.”

“Oh, I- I didn't know if Sara'd want me to,” she stalls. “But I'll stay if she does.” Ava can't really explain to her why Ava meeting Sara's dad isn't a good idea, so she just wishes Laurel a pleasant evening and they say their goodbyes.

Ava doesn't like hospitals. Honestly, she doesn't think anyone likes hospitals, realistically. But she knows Sara hates them, hates them with a burning passion. She's about to send Sara a text to ask her to peek out, when she hears someone laughing inside the room.

“She didn't!”

“She did, she won fair and square. I'll never say that to her face, obviously. But anyway, now basketball's kind of our inside joke.”

There's a pause. Ava really should knock. Or text Sara. Or something.

“She seems nice. I'm glad you have friends who love you. Why didn't you tell me about her until Laurel mentioned the fair?”

“I don't know, dad. It's complicated. I don't think... I don't think we feel the same way about each other.”

So, Sara knows. Sara knows Ava doesn't want to just be her friend. Sara knows Ava loves her in a way she shouldn't.

There's another pause and Ava knocks on the open door, before she can stop herself, before she can do something stupid like keep listening and breaking her own heart even more.

“Hey, sorry to intrude,” she waves awkwardly from the threshold.

“Come in, you're not intruding. Dad, this is Ava.”

“It's nice to meet you Mr Lance, although I do wish the circumstances were better,” she gets close enough to the bed to shake his hand. “Oh, I-” she fishes something from one of the bags she's carrying. “I got you Twizzlers, Sara once told me they're your favourite candy.”

She barely has the time to put the candy on Quentin's nightstand that Sara's already protesting.

“What? He got candy and I didn't?!”

“I got shot,” Quentin points out.

“Indeed. But since I knew you'd just complain about having to eat your father's Twizzlers the whole evening I got you M&M's so you won't bother him,” she throws a bag in Sara's direction. “I also got you a change of clothes, a toothbrush, stuff like that. And dinner, obviously.”

Sara gets up from her chair as Ava lists things and passes her each bag she's been carrying to her as the list goes on.

“You think you're so perfect, but you forgot the most important thing,” Sara tries not to look too grateful. “My ph-”

Ava fishes Sara's phone charger from her pocket before Sara even finishes the sentence. “Since you haven't been answering texts since Sunday, I figured your phone's been dead for a while, I assumed a nurse landed you a charger just long enough to let you make a call?”

Sara rolls her eyes. “Fine. So maybe you _are_ a little perfect, there's no need to flaunt it in our faces, you know?”

Even as she's making fun of her, Sara kisses her cheek as she passes her by to go and hook her phone to the charger. Ava stays for dinner and then Sara walks her out, thanks her, kisses her lips gently.

“Anytime, Lance,” Ava says the same way she always does.

But something's changed now. This, whatever is this thing between them, it feels impossible to contain. It's boundless and out of control in a way Ava isn't sure can be tamed in the span it'll take them to go on four more dates. She can't let herself fall for someone who'll never love her back, she can't. So she needs to hurry this along.

That doesn't stop her, of course, from kissing Sara's forehead gently, saying, “Call me if you need anything else at all, Lance. Even just someone to talk to.”

  
  


Sara will say, days, weeks, months from now, after everything's crumbled, that there weren't any exact moments she went from “I hate her” to “I have a crush on her” to “I love her” to “I'm in love with her”.

That's going to be, of course, a lie. The progression was slow and steady, naturally, but the realizations were always precise.

The first moment is on an average work day when Ava is being her abrasive self and Sara has the impulse to push her up against a wall and kiss her until neither of them can breathe. The second one, much to her dismay, for as cliché as it sounds, is on their third date, when Ava and Laurel are talking and Sara thinks this is exactly what she wants: all the people she loves getting along with her and each other. The third moment is an average night on Ava's couch not many days after their fifth date, as Ava's laughing at a joke in a completely uncoordinated manner, and Sara hasn't even realized how laughter can be an exercise in disequilibrium until she sees Ava do it and she wonders how in the world can she find this adorable.

The answer is, of course, “Oh. It's because I'm in love with her.”

There's not really a fourth moment: the transition is much harder to pinpoint. Sara only knows that this feeling has been growing despite how hard she'd tried to push it down. If she was much more poetic, she'd have pictured the rose of Jericho as the perfect metaphor; Sara being Sara, what she pictures is mould, growing from every corner despite any effort to keep it away. Until the day Ava shows up to a hospital with Twizzlers because Sara mentioned them exactly once weeks before as her dad's favourite candy and Sara thinks if it was up to her she'd spend her life with this woman.

Which is crazy. She's Sara Lance. She chalks it up to a momentary lapse in judgement until Ava leaves; but not _just_ leaves, no. Ava kisses her forehead, offers up her time and herself, and _then_ leaves.

That's the moment. The “I'm fucked” moment. And Sara wonders, not for the first time, if this can ever just pass. It doesn't feel like it could, it doesn't feel like anything Sara's ever felt before. That's the moment it goes from “I'm in love with her” to “She's the love of my life”.

  
  


Her dad gets discharged and she's back to work on Monday. Ava's been her usual self on the phone, but when they cross paths she acts a little odd: in the span of five sentences she calls Sara “dude” twice, uses “gal pals” in a sentence unironically and gives her a little punch on one shoulder as a goodbye.

If this is what being friend-zoned by Ava will look like, she can at least laugh her ass off while having her heart broken.

But Sara always has a fallback plan. Because she respects Ava's right to tell her to fuck off, but it doesn't mean she has to make it especially easy for her, so the next day she brings Ava coffee and, just as she hoped, she's still working on her case with Nora. So Sara, only for the sake of keeping up appearances obviously, leaves the coffee on the desk, bends down and kisses Ava square on the lips.

“Have a nice morning, babe,” she winks and gets out.

Sara has no idea how chess actually works, but if she'd had to guess how to play, it'd look probably a little like this.

  
  


Ava tells her she's planned their next date for Saturday right after brunch. It's a double-date with Nora and Ray and Sara has no doubt the two of them are supposed to be a buffer to whatever it is has Ava so spooked.

Sara gets to brunch while Ava's talking about something, but that doesn't stop her. She leans in, kisses her firmly, then sits down next to her. Ava blinks twice before clearing her voice and going on with whatever it was she was saying. Amaya and Zari look at her like she's lost her mind, and maybe she has. But she's also just really amused by how flustered Ava gets with just a kiss or a hand on her thigh.

The double-date turns out to be an Escape Room. Sara has conflicted feelings about it. On one hand, they'll be locked in a room together for more than an hour. On the other, Ray will for sure want to boy-scout his way to victory, so they'll have to take it seriously and that is also probably why Ava has picked them to be on their team.

Plus, the setting isn't really giving off romantic vibes: it's a dungeon with fake blood scattered everywhere and the plot is about a mad scientist wanting to kill all of them, so not ideal for a romantic date.

But then again, this is just Ava's thing. Sara's kinda looking forward to just stare at her lovingly while Ava solves this, honestly. And, on the plus side, they start off handcuffed to each other, so it's only fair Sara gets to hold her hand.

To actually make it in time they need to pair off, so Sara has to actually help Ava with the riddles and they get more and more into it, Ava can barely contain her enthusiasm and Sara is enjoying herself way more than she thought – and the bar was already pretty high solely based on spending time with Ava.

They find the final clue with thirty seconds to spare and Sara is the one to connect the dots. She rushes to where she's sure the key will be and throws the key to Ava from across the room, who opens the door when the timer's down to eight seconds. Sara hasn't had a rush like this one in quite a while, if she's honest.

They cheer and hug and Ava lifts her off her feet, spins her around and kisses her. This must be what soaring feels like.

Once they're out – Nora and Ray have been definitely up to something because they haven't stopped whispering amongst themselves for ten minutes – Nora walks to Ava and tells her she's going back to Ray's and asks if Sara can drop her off. Sara jumps at the chance and says she absolutely will.

So they find themselves in Sara's car just outside Ava's apartment in what can only be described as a tense yet not awkward silence.

“I know this wasn't really your thing, but I thought it would be fun. Couples double-date, right?” She tries to play it off, not telling Sara what Sara already knows: Nora and Ray were supposed to be their buffer, before Nora – the traitor – decided to use any and every possible chance to push them together.

“I had a lot of fun, actually,” Sara smiles. “And we won, which is always a plus.”

Ava chuckles. “Yeah, you do like dates you can win.”

“Well, any date with you, I feel like I've already won.”

Sara wants to bite her tongue, but Ava looks at her so hopefully, so eagerly. Sara knows she's probably planning their next Escape Room for when they'll be just friends.

“Wanna come in? Season four of Brooklyn Nine-Nine is waiting for us.”

“Yeah. Sure,” she nods and hopes they can just go back to how things used to be before Sara realized just how much she loved this woman.

They settle on the couch and it goes just the same way it used to go: they start far apart and then drift together without even noticing they are.

It happens on the least likely scenario Sara could have ever fathomed: they've gone on the least romantic date Ava could have ever picked, probably in an attempt to smother whatever it is that is blossoming between them despite their best efforts to quash it, with two chaperons for good measure, and then they've started to watch a comedy series on tv that they've already seen so many episodes of together.

But alas, that's the cathartic moment. Ava has paused the show to argue about some plot point Sara hasn't given much thought about. She's explaining to Sara why it makes no sense and Sara is just looking at her, passionately go on and on, and she can't believe she gets to date this woman. Whatever happens, she got to love this woman.

Ava Sharpe should've been the last person Sara would have possibly fallen in love with, but she really can't imagine loving anyone else this much.

Ava pauses when she notices Sara staring. “What?”

If Sara hadn't been such a coward, she'd have said it then, shot her shot, told Ava this meant something to her, it meant _everything_ to her. But Sara only has courage when her life's at stake, and doesn't take similar odds when it's her heart on the line.

“Wha-at?” Ava sing songs and pokes her.

Sara holds her wrist and tugs her forward and kisses her. Gently, like always, giving Ava time to respond or pull back. It seems to be the former, as Ava hums and brushes Sara's lower lip with her tongue. Making out being as far as they've gone, Sara knows this is where they should stop. Sara also knows, three dates from now she'll never get the chance to do this again.

She straddles Ava and feels hands on her hips steady her, she grips onto the back of the couch for a moment, then buries one hand in Ava's hair. Ava hugs her closer and her tongue gently swipes over Sara's, she hums, pushes back, not ready to relinquish control to Ava just yet.

In the heat of the moment, one of Ava's hands slips under her shirt just slightly and Ava breaks the kiss to sigh. “God, I swear every gym selfie you've posted in the last year was just to torture me with how good that V shape looks.”

Sara chuckles but it's short lived when Ava traces said line with her thumb right to the hem of her pants and Sara just fucking stops breathing. She kisses Ava's neck, open mouthed and wet, then bites her jawline, then whispers into her ear: “Want to see it in person?”

Ava already has, of course. When they've sparred or played basketball, but not when they're like this: alone on a surface that could be used for less-than-holy activities.

“Yes,” it's breathy and breathless.

Sara takes off her shirt before she can think about this properly, before she can realize how much of a monumentally bad idea this is. Getting a taste of this is going to utterly ruin her. But she's gotten this far, it's pretty clear by now her self control isn't tuned to Ava Sharpe.

Ava, on her end, has decided that whichever consequences this might have on her heart, it's going to be well worth it for the rest of her body to experience this. She's never been an overly sexual person, but she wants Sara. So much so, it's driving her crazy. She doesn't think she's ever wanted anything so much.

Once the shirt is off, Ava just takes in every bit of exposed skin for long enough that Sara thinks she _has_ to have gotten her bearings back and is going to stop this right at the start. But Ava just drags her nails across Sara's abs slowly and kisses her collarbone. She does it again and pulls Sara closer against her with one arm, hand landing on Sara's ass, and kisses her neck.

Sara closes her eyes, her hand into Ava's hair urges her on. It's not until she hears the soft, “Can I?” coming from Ava that she realizes one of her hands, the one previously tracing patterns on her stomach, is now positioned at the clasp of her bra.

“Yes,” she pants out. If this is a dream, she's fine sleeping for a hundred years.

In fact, if this is a dream and she does wake up, she's going to look for the first spinning wheel she can get her hands on so she can go right back to sleep for a hundred years or so.

She discards her bra once it's unclasped and Ava palms one of her breasts before Sara even has the time to catch her breath or think “I should perhaps not be the only person getting progressively more naked during this exchange” and suddenly the lips previously on her neck are around her other breast.

Ava bites down, just the right amount of teeth to make it pleasurable, and Sara lets out a sinful moan. She pulls on Ava's hair, because as nice as this feels, Sara needs to kiss her again. It's different than before, it's fire and teeth and tongues.

But the desire burns through Sara quickly, and it shifts into something she's not used to feeling in moments like this one: she wants it, but not just wants it. Sara wants to do this with Ava, she wants this because it's Ava, she wants to be close to her because she loves her so much that it crushes her sometimes.

She grabs the hem of Ava's shirt and pulls it up. They have to lean back long enough for it to be out of the way, and then they're kissing again. Ava's hands are framing her face now and it's getting gentler again and there's this sudden fear of Ava de-escalating things, she can barely comprehend the thought. Her own hands are on Ava's abdomen, she scrapes her muscles gently and decides to go straight for her jeans. She pauses on the still closed button and waits for the inevitable-

“Wait.”

She leans back and takes Ava in, panting and nervous and gorgeous as she's ever been. Sara knows what comes next. The “this isn't a good idea”; and it isn't. The “we aren't even really dating”; and they aren't. The “it's just going to pile up into the regrets stack”. All probably true. But all that Sara can come up with in response to all of the above is a simple, truthful, idiotic: “But I love you.”

“Are you sure?” Ava asks instead.

God, Sara's never been surer of anything in her life. “I want this, if you want this.”

“I want _you_ ,” Ava says like there's a difference and it's disarming how honest and caring she is, even now.

Sara smiles. She's about to kiss her again, when the words register fully. She leans back again.

“I want you, too, Ava. I want this because it's _you_.”

Ava smiles up at her and brushes her nose to Sara's, kissing her briefly again. “Should we move this to my room?”

“Please,” Sara nods and hangs onto Ava tightly as Ava picks her up and carries her to her room.

Sara doesn’t know what she expected to happen next: she has gauged from Ava’s stance on casual sex this isn’t exactly something she’s had a long history of doing and she even seemed to think of it as a nuisance. That could have very well been just a dismissal of Nora and Nate’s suggestion to date casually that wasn’t indicative of how she felt about sex in general, but still. Sara wants to trade carefully.

And as for herself, well, she has experience with one night stands, but that’s such a low risk bargain. Worst that can happen, is mediocre sex. Worst that can happen with Ava? The love of her life remembers the one time they sleep together as a terrible mistake. So, no pressure at all.

Sara needs to say something. Something smart. Reassuring and sexy. The thing is, she’s tried not to indulge in sexual fantasies regarding Ava too much, because she has to work with this woman, go on dates and occasionally kiss her, and it wouldn’t be good to start dwelling in the unobtainable. That’s not to say there haven’t been fantasies. But Sara has tried to keep them simple and aimed at a quick release. Or, well, there’s been the deep and elaborate and sentimental kind, but somehow she doesn’t think saying “oh, yeah baby, tell me we’re gonna buy a house together,” is what she should be saying while Ava is taking off her pants.

So, instead of talking at all, Sara decides it's time to act. When Ava kisses her again she scratches her stomach with one hand and lands it on the button of her jeans. This time, Ava doesn't stop her. After Sara's opened them, Ava rolls over and Sara's quick to take them off. But her control is short-lived: Ava settles on top of her again a moment later and starts kissing down her neck and sternum and stomach.

“Can I take these off?” Ava asks once she's reached the hem of her panties.

Sara nods, but Ava just keeps pressing butterfly kisses across her belly, until Sara actually says, “Yes, take them off,” breathy and hurried.

She's about to make her move to regain control, when Ava starts kissing up her thigh, biting down gently and soothing the pain with her tongue. Maybe not being in control isn't going to be that bad, Ava seems to have this figured out, actually.

After Ava starts going down on her, her brain thankfully, mercifully, finally shuts completely off and everything she can feel or touch is Ava. There's no dubious future, no insecurities to worry about, even her own questions evaporate the moment Ava's tongue is on her.

She registers her own voice getting up in volume gradually like a distant echo in crescendo, and her back arches off the bed a few times when Ava hits a particularly good spot. Sara has a hand in her hair to keep her close, to grasp onto something, her other hand seeks Ava's so she can hold it, have this contact, this ulterior physical connection; she cannot for the life of hers understand why she needs it, but she does.

It hits hard and lasts for what feels like minutes, her legs go numb and she tries to catch her breath, but before she can Ava's already kissing up her body and her lips are around one of Sara's nipples. Her hips jerk up. Ava hums and settles fully on top of her, her lips graze Sara's earlobe and she asks “Can you go again?” in a voice that, Sara is sure, is going to be the utter death of her.

“Maybe,” she says, because the first orgasm was Earth-shattering, and her legs are still tingly, but Ava is so sexy she feels like she could do this a hundred times over, until her heart gave out. “Feel free to try.”

Ava's fingers travel from her breast down to her centre and Sara's hips buck again. She's gentle, careful, and drives Sara up again slowly. She guides Ava back to her, kisses her, moans when she realizes Ava tastes of herself. She hugs her closer, pulls her closer, and when they look into each other's eyes-

Sara doesn't remember sex ever feeling like this. Not this intimate. This emotional.

“Ava,” she breathes helplessly and she has absolutely no idea what she's asking for, but whatever it is Ava tries to give it to her instantly, willingly.

“I'm right here,” Ava's leaning on her arm for support and she pivots on her elbow so she can use her hand to brush some hair off of Sara's face with a gentleness that is almost startling.

She is, but Sara wants her closer. She doesn't know _how_ , there's no closer than this, really, Ava's inside her and on top of her, but Sara feels like this is still too far. She circles Ava's waist with her legs to pull her into her, circles her back with her arms, but that need quells only when she looks into Ava's eyes. They're open and soft and – Sara dares to think it, in this moment that seems so shielded, so perfect – even loving.

She drags her nails across Ava's back and comes with a shudder and a sigh and shakes, shakes, shakes until everything stops for a moment.

Sara's mind, blissed out and fogged up, goes back to that night in that bar, months before, to the moment Ava asked her: “ _I'd have to sleep with them, and who wants that?_ ” Sara would like to go back in time, raise her hand in the air and volunteer; they could have been doing this ever since and who _doesn't_ want that? That was amazing. Spectacular, even.

Ava slips out of her and she shudders again and sighs contentedly.

“You ok?” Ava asks, her hand soothingly caressing Sara's thigh and hip.

“More than okay. That was amazing,” Sara kisses her and holds her, afraid Ava will be too far away in a second. But Ava stays, nose pressed against Sara's cheek, she chuckles and then kisses Sara's neck and her collarbone and her shoulder lazily, then traces the path backwards and her lips are on Sara's again, slow and languid and peaceful.

Ava has never known sex to be peaceful. Good and sometimes great, sure, but laborious and nerve-wracking. With Sara, it's effortless. She wanted her so much, she dove right past her insecurities. Now comes the nerve-wracking part, now that there's nothing between them and they get to catch their breaths, now Ava's brain starts to work at full speed again.

She should get off of Sara, first of all, because this can't be comfortable. Some of her weight is on her arms, sure, but the majority of it is on Sara. So she shifts off of her and immediately comes the complaint.

“Where are you going?” Sara sounds almost offended.

“I'm right here,” she chuckles. “I didn't want to crush you,” she kisses Sara's cheek and rests her head on her hand, one of her legs is still between Sara's, and now she actually gets to look at her, cheek flushed and lips red, hair messy and eyes bright. God, Ava loves her. This is going to be what breaks her, she's sure. This moment right here, is what she'll remember years down the road, Sara looking up at her with what she can almost let herself believe to be the kind of affection that lasts a lifetime. This moment is what she'll never get over, not in a million years, this moment is what she'll always remember: when things were almost perfect, when they were almost in love with each other.

Before she can say something that will ruin them forever, Sara kisses her again and rolls them over and, to Ava, this is the hard part. Where all the effort goes. It's just complicated. If she stops and thinks about everything that can go wrong her brain will work itself into a panic, she'll overthink everything and- God what if she says or does something that ruins it? What if she's too loud or not loud enough? What if she takes forever to come, should she just fake it? Or what if it feels really good, it's been a while and-

“Hey,” Sara's voice breaks through her thoughts. “You still with me?”

“Yeah. Just... nervous. I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. Do you want us to take a time out?” Ava shakes her head. “Do you want to talk about it?” She shakes her head again. “What do you want?”

A trembling breath leaves her lips and she doesn't have another way of saying this that isn't: “You. I want you.”

Sara smiles in a disarming way and kisses her cheek tenderly. “You have me, I'm right here. Are you sure you want to keep going?”

“Yes,” Ava nods. In fact, she wishes things were going a little faster because that's right about the time she notices she's wearing a sport bra and the meekest pair of boy-shorts she owns. In her defence, who could have predicted a mid-afternoon Escape Room date to end up with Sara Lance naked on top of her?

Sara notices she's still nervous even as she nods, so she starts kissing her collarbone, goes down her sternum slowly. She kisses her ribcage, nips at her skin, bites down gently around Ava's bellybutton and down to the edge of her underwear.

“God, you're gorgeous,” Sara whispers as she trails the same path backwards, slowly, steadily. Ava's hips buck when she presses her hand to Ava's breast over her bra. “Do you want this off?”

“Yes,” quick, too quick. Ava clears her voice. “Yes.”

She sits up, helps Sara get it off, then lays down again. Sara kisses up her ribcage and takes a nipple between her lips, her hand paying attention to the other one. Ava moans and her buries her hand in Sara's hair to keep her on target, making Sara sigh appreciatively. After a few moments she switches and Ava's hand falls off her hair, she grabs a handful of sheets instead. Sara extricates her hand from it to guide it into her hair again, encouraging Ava to grip onto it.

Sara hooks her thumbs into the hem of Ava's boy-shorts and looks up at her.

“Yes,” Ava nods before she can ask and Sara drags them down her legs slowly.

When she crawls back on top of her, they both sigh. There's nothing between them anymore, and it should make Ava a thousand times more nervous but, oddly, it doesn't.

Everything feels peaceful again.

Sara smiles down at her.

“What?” Ava smiles back. “Wha-at?”

“Nothing. You're just so beautiful,” Sara says, because it's true and because telling Ava she doesn't look as nervous anymore won't make her less nervous.

Sara's first touch is delicate, but it quickly becomes more insistent when she realizes Ava's more than ready. She thrusts into her slowly, brings up her thumb to press against her clit, and kisses anywhere she can reach: Ava's shoulder, her neck, her sternum, her breasts, her jaw, her neck again, until Ava grabs her hair and brings her mouth to her own, slipping her tongue inside Sara's mouth and moaning sinfully. Sara shudders.

Ava breaks the kiss to gasp out and then moans right next to Sara's ear in a way that makes every hair on the back of her neck stand on attention. This is gonna kill her, and what a way to go. Ava's hugging her shoulders with one arm and keeping her head closer with the other hand and even as she kisses gently Ava's neck or her jaw, Sara can hear every breath, every gasp, every moan, and it's fantastic. It's perfect.

Ava bites her lip, tries to muffle the sounds, but Sara leans up long enough to bite her chin gently, telling her, “Don't. I want to hear you, Ava,” and that earns her a long scratch across her back as Ava turns and presses her nose to Sara's cheek.

“Sara,” she tries to catch her breath long enough to formulate a sentence but it's so hard.

“I know, baby. I got you.”

Ava falls over with a gasp and arches into Sara. She pants against Sara's ear, sighs and moans and pants again and it takes her a couple of minutes to came back down.

Sara wishes she never did. She wishes they could stay in that blissful moment forever, with Ava coming around her and against her and holding her so close Sara can almost believe she won't ever let go again.

After Ava goes still, Sara slips out and lays on her side, her head on Ava's shoulder, their legs entangled, and she gently traces innocent, aimless patterns on Ava's skin, waiting for her to catch her breath.

Ava moves some hair away from Sara's forehead and kisses it with so much tenderness Sara has to close her eyes so they won't betray how much she had longed for this.

“Stay.”

The “I don't want your ghost to haunt me” stays unsaid, but Sara hears it.

“I'd love to,” she says, and it's already a little sleepy. She fumbles around and drags Ava's sheets up to cover them, then settles back against her.

Ava hugs her to her chest and kisses her forehead again and thinks that if perfection exists, this must be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was my second (I think) time writing more than a sentence of smut without deleting it, I don't think it's great but it was necessary to the story to understand where they stand emotionally and where their head's at.
> 
> Also, if you're a millennial and “oh, yeah baby, tell me we’re gonna buy a house together,” isn't a fantasy of yours, we can't be friends.
> 
> ...jk, love you guys.


	9. The seventh date's morning after (and the awkward lunch)

When Ava wakes up it's because Sara's gently moving her arms away so she can get up. Ava doesn't open her eyes. There's a pang to her heart but if Sara wants to leave before she wakes up, that's her prerogative. Ava asked her to stay and Sara has. She doesn't owe Ava an excuse about why she has to go. Ava wouldn't want to listen to it anyway.

She hears Sara fumbling around for a moment and then she gets out of the room quietly. Ava can only assume she's picked up her clothes and plans to dress outside her door as not to wake her up. As soon as she's alone, her eyes open.

Ava wants to regret this. She does. But she just can't. Of course she wishes Sara had stayed, she wishes things had been different, but they had something, at least. And it had been so amazing, everything she could've hoped for. It had been romantic and comfortable and amazing. She could never regret it.

She wonders if she will, in time. If she'll wish she'd said everything she hasn't, everything she couldn't. Maybe. Most likely. She'll regret everything she didn't have, for sure, but she won't regret this. Non this. And, eventually, she'll have to forgive herself for everything she hasn't been able to say.

Not today, of course. Today will be wallowing and moping around, staring at her phone all day for a text that won't come. But from tomorrow on, maybe...

The door opens quietly and before Ava can even properly turn Sara is slipping back under her covers again, rolling up the sleeves of Ava's pyjama top.

“You're awake,” she bends down and kisses Ava gently, smiling against her lips.

It makes Ava smile back, there's a bubbling feeling in her stomach that feels somewhere between relief and happiness. “Someone decided to push me around.”

“Sorry, I needed to go to the bathroom,” Sara chuckles and kisses her again. “Do you wanna go back to sleep?” Her tone is innocent but her hand is sliding up Ava's ribcage to a less-than innocent place.

Ava's hand is on Sara's thigh as she beacons her closer, until Sara's straddling her. Ava sits up and hugs Sara to her, one hand is palming Sara's ass and the other is sliding under her own shirt Sara has currently on. Sara is forced to hang onto her shoulders for balance and there's nothing she can do but kiss her again as Ava touches her in all the right ways, in all the right places. It slowly becomes a little bit like torture, until finally one of Ava's hands start to move down her body, until-

“You brushed your teeth,” Ava whispers, then kisses her neck, and Sara is so focused on the hand traveling down from her breast that it takes her a moment to comprehend what Ava just said.

“Yes, I left here that toothbrush you brought me when my dad was in the hospital.”

“Do you want me to go brush my teeth? It'll take a minute,” Ava scratches that V she likes so much, traces down, down, and then up again.

“What?” Sara frowns and chants her hips forward to the hand that's _almost_ there.

“This must feel so gross to you, I have morning breath,” down, down, almost there, then to the left and down her thigh.

“It feels amazing, Ava, kissing you always feels amazing,” she's confused and as the hand goes back up she bucks again, and uses her hand in Ava's hair to make her lean back so she can look into her eyes.

Ava's half serious, half teasing her.

Sara swats her shoulder so gently it's more like a caress. “Jerk.”

Ava smiles up at her and then finally traces her length, making Sara gasp. She kisses Ava's cheek and keeps her mouth close to Ava's ear as Ava bites down on her shoulder gently. She tries to be patient, but when Ava finally enters her, she swears and her hips thrust forward.

Ava's kissing and biting anywhere she can reach, gently and careful not to leave marks in places that are hard to cover, as Sara moves more and more purposefully above her. The hand on her butt is urging her forward, guiding her, then Ava shifts to circle her waist and hug her closer as she starts hooking her fingers inside her.

Sara throws her head back exposing her neck to Ava, lips are on her skin immediately, kissing the hollow of her throat and up from it and down to it again. Ava's fingertips press against her front wall and her thumb moves to rub her clit and it's almost too much.

Her moans have escalated and when she comes she does so loudly, trembling into Ava's arms.

They stay like that for a while, Ava rubbing circles on Sara's back and Sara hanging onto her, trying to understand what it is about Ava that drives her so crazy. Well, she knows, it's Ava. Everything about her, her just being her.

When Sara finally leans back and touches her forehead to Ava, kissing her softly, Ava sighs against her lips.

“Good morning, baby.”

“Good morning,” Sara smiles and pushes Ava down so she's laying on her back.

Sara has been looking forward to this, she's had fantasies about this, and the fact that they fell asleep and she didn't know if she'd ever get the chance to do this was a little heartbreaking. But now here she is, kissing down Ava's stomach, settling between her legs, biting up her thighs.

Ava tastes amazing. Sara could do this for hours. Sara _would_ do this for hours.

Same as the night before, Sara has to guide Ava's hand to her own hair, has to ask her to stop holding back the sounds she's making, but as she goes on Ava looks more and more comfortable and – Sara will treasure the image forever – a little wild. Realistically, she will treasure everything about this forever: how Ava looked, how she tasted, how it felt when she came against her mouth. Sara won't forget a thing about this.

They're laying next to each other, trying to catch their breath, when Ava turns on her side and looks at her for a moment, before saying, “I need to take a shower, but we could go have lunch together after?”

“There's this place that has the _best_ fried sweet potatoes, I've been meaning to take you. We could go there. But I have one non-negotiable condition.”

“Shoot.”

“I get to take that shower with you.”

Sara's half scared to leave Ava's sight even for a moment, least she forgets Sara exists, and half really looking forward to a little shower action.

“Deal. But no funny business,” Ava warns.

“Nothing funny, got it. Only super serious business in the shower. Want me to bring a calculator in there?”

“Sara.”

“I'm just kidding! No funny business.”

Needless to say, there is, indeed, a whole lot of funny business going on in the shower.

  
  


Sara drives them to her old neighbourhood, and they walk around hand in hand with Sara pointing out a place or the other with information of the highest importance such as “that’s where the old DA’s office was before the Earthquake,” or “that’s where I punched Bobby Lawrence for calling Laurel a goody-two-shoes in second grade, I thought he was making fun of her in a much worse way than he was,” or “that’s where I hugged my father for the first time after coming back to life,” and Ava tries to memorize all of it.

“So what’s the story with the place you’re taking me to?”

Sara shrugs a little, as they stop in front of a diner with a glass window that’s about three quarters of the front wall. Ava turns and stands in front of her.

“It was Laurel's and mine favourite place growing up. We’d come here with dad almost every Sunday and eat so many sweet potatoes and I guess I just missed it. I wanted to come here with someone I- I really care about.”

Ava’s looking at her like Sara has just confessed her undying love, so of course she immediately backtracks.

“But I guess going with you is fine, too.”

“Oh, no, too late Lance. You said it. It’s the law now,” Ava steps closer and Sara rolls her eyes but hugs her shoulders and gets up on her tiptoes. Ava only has the time to say “I really care about you, too,” before Sara kisses her.

They’re standing there, smiling like idiots, for at least two minutes, just kissing softly on a sidewalk and, as always when things are out of their control, Ava deems this to be Sara’s fault. Why wouldn’t it be? Sara chose the place, Sara has started the declarations of affection that had them kissing in public, so what if Ava was the one to bend down to softly whisper into her ear something less than appropriate for a public place, prompting Sara to duck her head and then turn to the window and see-

“Oh, shit.”

They lean back and Ava turns and sure enough Laurel’s inside the diner having lunch with a man who’s turned around to stare at them as well. Great. Just, fantastic.

“Well,” Sara sighs. “Might as well just get it over with.”

“I am... so sorry,” Ava tells her and suddenly feels responsible even though, really, all Sara’s fault.

“Don’t be,” she takes Ava’s hand and leads her into the diner. Laurel gets up just as Sara says, “Hey guys.”

“Sara. May I have a word? Outside?” Laurel walks out without waiting for an answer.

“Try not to murder each other,” it’s all Sara whispers to Ava before walking after her sister.

Ava frowns, then looks back at the guy staring down at the menu in front of him. She sits down in front of him for lack of a better idea and they settle into an awkward silence.

Ava recognizes him the moment she looks at him properly.

“Ah,” Sara’s comment makes much more sense now. “I’m Ava Sharpe,” she offers him a hand.

“Oliver Queen.”

She nods. The silence envelops them again just as someone opens the door and the voices from outside filter in:

“You always do this! Are you going to sleep with just everyone I’ve ever had a crush on?!”

“Oh, get over yourself! I introduced her to you when I was already dating her, you didn’t even know what her face looked like until I was already-”

Mercifully, thankfully, the door shuts again. Ava sighs in relief. Oliver has a raised eyebrow and is still staring down at the menu.

Ava needs something to say, something witty and graceful, something-

“So, the economy, am I right?”

He looks up slowly, then tries to contain a smile. “You do know my family recently lost all our money right?”

Ava wants to facepalm but she just makes a face instead. “Right. Sorry. But I mean, vigilante who gave up his second chance at an average life doesn’t exactly scream guy who’s overly attached to money to me,” she chuckles.

He tenses up. “Sara told you?”

“Oh, no, God no. Sorry. I didn’t... sorry. I’m FBI. I’m on Rip’s task force, so I knew who you all were before I started working with Sara. But I can totally _not_ know if you don’t want me to, we don’t have to talk about it,” Ava says, then pauses. “Although, big fan of your attack to corrupted power a couple years back.”

Oliver smiles. “Yeah, my methods weren’t...”

“Right. But you’ve changed. And Sara has kinda... swayed my opinion on vigilantes.”

“I can figure out why,” he tries not to smile too widely. “But yes, my targets were on point.”

“Still are,” Ava says, “I mean the Fitz’s the other week... couldn’t nail them for a year and then you dumped a ton of evidence on my lap. DA’s gonna have a field day.”

“Oh, you’re _that_ Sharpe. Laurel has mentioned you as a sort of... epistolary friend she knows through case reports.”

Ava chuckles. “That sounds about right. Hey, about that bust... obviously off the record, but how did you get into the safe?”

Oliver chuckles. “Okay, so, believe it or not the reason we were after them was the fact they were trying to smuggle Vertigo back into town and-”

As Oliver recounts the events, Sara and Laurel are still outside. The conversation is ending in a bonding moment, but from the start it goes something like:

“I can’t believe you.”

“What? What did I do now?”

“Are you kidding me? Are you planning on having sex with just every single person I’ve ever been interested into?”

“What?! Laurel, Ava’s my girlfriend, you can't really admit that to my face.”

“Since when?! You said you were just friends, you told dad-”

“Of course I didn’t tell our _father_ I was dating her! _Hey dad, here’s some Twizzlers from the woman I’m_ -” Sara stops mid sentence. She can’t tell her sister she’s in love with Ava. Not like this.

“Screwing?” Laurel supplies with exactly the wrong thing.

Sara grimaces. “Don’t, okay? It’s not like that.”

“Me?! This is... it’s just typical! You always do this! Are you going to sleep with just everyone I’ve ever had a crush on?!”

“Oh, get over yourself! I introduced her to you when I was already dating her, you didn’t even know what her face looked like until I was already half in love with her!”

The second time it slips out before Sara can bite her tongue.

“You’re in love with her?”

Sara rubs her forehead and shakes her head, her eyes shut tight until the tears are back in check.

“Yeah. And it’s such a mess, Laurel.”

“Why?” She asks, and seems genuinely concerned now.

“Because she’s not... she doesn’t feel the same, ok? Her friends insisted she should date someone casually for up to ten dates and then move on, it was a whole thing. And I was awful when we first met. So of course she was sure she’d never want to keep dating me. And I already liked her but after we started dating...”

“Oh, Sara. Are you sure she couldn’t change her mind?”

“I’m sure. We agreed to part amicably. I can’t just tell her “Hey, we can totally stay just friends but just so you know, you’re the love of my life and I’ll always love you”, can I?”

Laurel’s eyes soften and she smiles. “She’s the love of your life, uh?”

Sara looks through the front window into the diner and sees her deep in an enthusiastic conversation with a man she should hate on principle alone. God, she never stood a chance, did she? She was doomed from the start.

“She is. It’s going to completely break me when she leaves me.”

Laurel touches her shoulder and smiles softly at her. “Well, she hasn’t left yet.”

Sara hugs her then, spontaneous and a little desperate. “I’m sorry. About everything, about Oliver, about not coming back before, about scaring you.”

“I’m sorry, too. I really do hope you and Ava sort this out, Sara. And if you wanna talk about it I’m always here for you, ok? I love you, Sara.”

“Thank you. So much. I love you, too.”

When they regain their composure and get into the diner, Oliver and Ava are talking animatedly.

“So there I was, high out of my mind-”

“Oh, shh,” Ava motions for him to stop when she sees Sara and Laurel approach.

“What are you-” Sara doesn’t have time to finish her question.

“Nothing. We’re just sitting here, _not_ getting along,” Ava turns to Oliver. “You are highly unpleasant.”

Oliver nods along, “Yes, you’re awful as well.”

Sara sits down next to Ava, eyeing the pair carefully, Laurel does the same as she sits on the opposite side.

“Go on, finish your story,” Laurel encourages him when he looks at her.

“Okay so, I was standing there, high out of my mind, and I see myself coming at me and I’m going, oh this feels like a flashback. We started looking into vertigo after that.”

“So you just started beating yourself up?”

“Yeah, that’s not as hard as it sound if you have just enough-”

“- self hate,” Ava says at the same time he does and they chuckle. “So the safe?”

“Oh, right! After that we broke into their lab to see if they were actually producing it or just importing it and-”

“Guys, we have to order,” Sara brings them back to reality and Oliver pauses just long enough for them to speak to the waiter before going right back into it.

  
  


They say their goodbyes not long after lunch and Laurel whispers something to Sara, Ava doesn’t quite catch what exactly. They walk back to Sara’s car hand in hand and Ava is obviously stalling a little.

“What a fine weather we’re having on this splendid d-”

“Are you coming back to mine or just dropping me off?” Sara stops walking and looks at her, but Ava is looking up at the sky with fake interest. “Yes, really nice weather today.”

“Do you _want_ me to go back to yours?”

Ava lets go of her hand and turns to her with a nervous expression and Sara knows this is the moment Ava tells her they’re not the kind of people who make the same mistake twice. Ava stalls, looks away, then back at her.

“The short answer is, yes.”

Sara’s enthusiasm is short lived. Is the long answer the hundred reasons why they shouldn’t be doing this? “What’s the long answer?”

Ava sighs. “The long answer is,” she looks down at her shoes for a moment. “Yes. But I also want you to go back to your place first, pick up whatever you need for tomorrow, and then spend the night.”

Sara’s eyebrows shoot up. “I mean, tomorrow would be the third day in a row I’m wearing this shirt so I’d very much like a change of clothes for work.”

Ava nods, looks down at her shoes again. “I mean I get it if-” Sara gently touches the underside of her chin until Ava looks up again. Once their eyes meet, Ava goes on. “I get it if you don’t wanna spend the night or if you don’t want to come back to mine at all. What happened last night... it doesn’t have to happen again. Ever. If you don’t want it to.”

“Do _you_ want it to?”

Ava looks at her like Sara’s making no sense. “No, I just asked you to mine to play Uno, obviously. Yes, Sara, I want it to,” she says in a whisper.

“Well, then let’s stop at mine to grab some stuff and then we can go play some Uno. But I have to warn you, I’ll obliterate you at it.”

Sara starts to go around the car to get to the driver’s seat, when Ava says, “I don’t even own a Uno deck. If you’re coming back to mine to win a card game you’re gonna have to pick another one.”

Sara smirks, gets into her car and waits for Ava to do the same. Then, as she turns on the car, she says, “Fine. I pick strip poker, then.”

Ava swats her arm and they both start chuckling and Sara takes her hand and holds it until they’re parked in front of her apartment.

“So, not that I want us to sneak around, because it’s not like we’re doing something wrong.”

Ava nods. “Right, we're doing something that we both want.”

“We’re doing something that feels... so _right_ , you know? But do we think it’s a good idea to go in together and have Amaya and Zari go off on us for a whole hour while I could just sneak in, grab some stuff, and be out in three minutes?”

“Three minutes?” Ava scoffs. “No way. Ten, maybe seven.”

“Come on, I’m a real life ninja.”

“I’ll time you,” Ava grabs her phone. “If you’re out of there in less than seven minutes I’ll buy a Uno deck just for when you come over.”

Sara smirks and doesn’t say out loud how amazing it sounds that Ava’s planning to have her over frequently, but she likes to think her expression does it for her.

Ava leans over to her, lips almost touching Sara’s, and whispers, “time starts now.”

Sara’s already kissing her before she realizes what Ava just said. She leans back hastily and tries to get out, only to realize her seatbelt is still on, so she unhooks it and then she gets out of her car less than gracefully. Ava’s already laughing her ass off. Zari yelling at her from the front door where the fucking fire is as Sara sprints back to her car only makes her laugh harder.

“Six minutes and fifty-seven seconds,” Ava lies. “Guess you get your Uno deck.”

Sara knows there’s no way that was less than eight minutes, but she just smiles, yells back at Zari that she had a bet to win, and then starts the car.

  
  


They're laying on their sides in bed that night, pressed together, with Sara's nose against her neck as she kisses the hollow throat and Ava's hands caressing Sara's back gently, when it hits her.

“Tomorrow is Monday.”

“Isn't that what usually comes after Sundays?” Sara chuckles and keeps kissing her neck lazily.

“Monday means work and responsibilities. It means life's going on.”

“Yeah,” Sara says softly, and she's glad they're not face to face because her eyes are full of terror right now. “Life does tend to do that.”

“It means this won't be the same. Zari and Nora and Amaya and Nate and, hell, even Ray, will have something to say and we'll think this through and a million awful things will happen or will be said or thought, and by tomorrow evening, this'll never be the same again.”

Oh, Sara knows.

Sara knows whatever happens to them from the moment they'll be apart for more than six minutes and fifty-seven seconds will be the end of this bliss. But they can't stop time. No matter how much she wants to.

“But maybe,” Sara says and there's a knot in her throat the size of a basketball, “maybe it'll be better.” She doesn't believe it, she can't. But she can cling to hope until it destroys her. “They'll say whatever they want and we'll have some bad thoughts, and we can choose to listen to all of that. Or,” Sara leans back and looks up into Ava's bright eyes. She caresses her cheek gently, tracing her cheekbone with her thumb. “We can choose to come back to each other, and you can tell me everything that you're scared about and I can tell you how dumb you sound.”

“Hey!”

Sara chuckles and rolls on top of Ava and kisses her while she's still smiling.

“And if we make it through it, if we're not afraid anymore... we'll be even better than we are right now because of it.”

Ava's looking at her in a way that makes Sara's heart ache.

“How do you always know the right thing to say?”

Sara smiles and kisses her again. “You make me want to find the right thing to say.”

Ava smiles and nods and kisses her back, even though she knows they won't make it through, they can't. But she smiles, because the fact that Sara wants to, maybe it's enough. And if things were different, if Sara wanted commitment, if Ava wasn't so paralysed by the fear of losing her, maybe they could have. Maybe somewhere, somewhen there is a place where they could've made it. And that's enough to make everything worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Sara has at least admitted her feelings out loud. Progress, yay! Also, I hope you don't mind the fluff... thoughts?


	10. The concequences (and some distance)

Ava doesn’t know what to expect. Nora’s surely gonna call her crazy a couple of times, Nate might look at her like she’s already broken to pieces and Amaya is probably going to give her a subtle speech about how something that is temporary isn’t less meaningful.

She knows what she doesn’t expect: for everyone to act completely normal around them to the point of suspicion. And that’s exactly what happens for the first half of the day.

Ava knocks on Nora’s office one minute before their lunch break is even due to start, and asks if she’s ready. Nora nods and gets up and asks if they should get the others.

“Is there anything you wanna talk to me about? Privately? Now that nobody else is here to butt in?”

Nora squints her eyes. “I wanna say no but I feel like it’s a trick question judging by the way you posed it.”

Ava looks back at her with the same dubious look, they size each other up for a moment waiting for the other to admit to something.

“Just say what you have to say, Nora.”

“Okay, I’m lost. Is it something I did? Something you did?”

Ava rolls her eyes.

“Something you did. This weekend? Okay, what did you do? I thought you were with Sara the whole time. Oh my God Ava, did you ask her to move in?”

“What?! No! Nora focus, you just said, I was with Sara _the whole weekend_.”

“Right. So, like any other weekend. I mean sure, staying at ours two nights in a row and bringing clothes is a bit forward but you guys have been dating for what, three months now?”

“No,” Ava protests meekly. “Two months and three weeks,” she murmurs unintelligibly.

“My bad, two months and three weeks, so unless you’ve asked her to marry you I’d say this is solid progress.”

Ava just stares at her blankly for a moment. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Fine. I’ll guess. Is this your fault or her fault?”

“There’s no fault. It wasn’t a bad thing. It was a good thing. A really... really great thing.”

Nora snorts. “Let’s see, what could that apply to beside sex,” Nora is thinking it through when she sees Ava raise one eyebrow at her. “Oh, but I mean, I know you’ve been doing _that_ for a while.”

Ava gapes at her. “What?”

“Ava come on, I came into your room two weeks ago and you were wearing a tank top and shorts and were all curled up into her about to kiss her. You’re telling me you’ve been cuddling with Sara half naked and nothing happened until two days ago?” She scoffs. “And that night I walked into you two making out on the couch and then she spent the night? That was like, three weeks ago. And the night she invited you to stay over more than a month ago? Zari texted me immediately saying you were sleeping in her room and the next morning when you did the walk of shame. You mean to tell me you’ve been having sleepovers with Sara Lance and not sleeping with her?”

Ava frowns, looks away. “No?” It's not even an answer, it has a question mark the size of Ava's confusion. “But hypothetically, why is that worse?”

Nora’s amused expression evens out. “Ava, were you two not having sex until two days ago?”

“Did everyone think we were?” She asks instead of answering.

Nora sits back down and Ava goes to sit on one of the chairs in front of her desk. “Oh... my God.”

“Why is this worse?” Ava asks again, not getting why Nora was fine with them having had sex this whole time but now suddenly it’s a big deal.

“Because! She’s been waiting around for months for you to make a move!”

“Nora, what the- I’d like to think she’s not been waiting around for me to just give in or something, we agreed this wouldn’t happen at all.”

“She was fine dating you for months without having sex with you at all?!”

“We’re not even really dating! I mean sure we go on dates and hold hands and we’re always texting each other and I’m in love with her and now we’re sleeping together. But we’re _not_ dating!”

Nora just stares at her.

“I realized how that sounded just after I said it.”

“Ava, not to be like, dramatic and shit, but have you lost your goddamn mind? Look, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you need to face the facts. Three really important facts. One, you love her. Two, you’re dating. And three, and I might just be causing you an aneurism with this one, but any person on this goddamn planet can see this but you so I’m just gonna say it, she loves you back. And you need to do something about it before it’s too late.”

Ava rolls her eyes. “That’s just cruel Nora, why would you say that? She’s agreed to do this because we’re friends, and she cares about me.”

“Ava, I’m your friend! Ray’s your friend, Nate, Mona! The legends, even! Tell me one of them you’ve slept with besides Sara!”

“That... is beside the point. What I feel for her isn’t the same she feels about me. And besides, I thought you wanted me to date casually.”

“Not Sara Lance! You can date casually Susan from accounting or Karen from the coffee shop around the corner! Sara Lance? You were always gonna fall in love with her, Ava. She loves you back. Don’t waste it.”

“You’re insane. She doesn’t.” Nora raises her eyebrows. “She doesn’t! Look, I’d know, Nora, okay? There were many moments she could’ve said something and she didn’t. She can’t... she can’t love me back.”

“Why not?”

“Because.” Ava sighs. “I’ve met her sister, her father! This was the opposite of the goal, if this was real the whole time, we’ve been burning steps left and right.”

“Her father was shot, you were there to support her. And you met her sister by chance. You haven’t been burning steps Ava. In fact, according to recent developments, you’ve been moving at turtle speed,” she smiles, trying to lift Ava’s spirit up. “Look, I’m not saying do some big declaration. I’m just saying, keep an open mind about where this is going.”

“Weren’t you the one who said-”

“Forget what I said. Ultimately, we wanted you to find someone good for you, and you have. If it’s her you love, and if she loves you back, don’t give this up without trying.”

Ava sighs, drawn out and heavy. And then, she nods.

  
  


“So,” Sara slumps down on a chair next to Zari as she sips her post-lunch coffee at the vending machines. “I slept with Ava.”

“Good for you,” Zari tells her, mouth full with half a donut. “Why are you telling me now?”

“What?” Sara frowns.

“It’s been ages, right? What are you telling me now for?”

Sara pauses. “ _What_?!”

“She ran into me and Charlie the first morning she took Shame Avenue from your bedroom to her car.”

“Zari, we really didn’t sleep together until Saturday. Last Saturday.”

“Are you for real?” Zari stops chewing, gulps down the rest of her donut and then sighs. “So you’re in love with her, uh? Cool. What now, dummy?”

Which, fair. Harsh, but fair.

“I don’t know, Z.”

“Well, you better figure it out. And hey, here’s some crazy ass plan, completely mad idea but what if you just talk to her.”

Sara scoffs. “I talk to her all the time.”

“About how you _feel_.”

“Yes. About how I feel, too, Zari, believe it or not. After you and Amaya suggested it I've been more open. If she felt something like what I feel for her, she’d have noticed. That woman has some incredible detecting skills, have I told you about the-”

“-true crime documentary, yes.”

“And the-”

“-the Murder Mystery dinner, you did. Multiple times. Which is a testament to how blinded by love you are.”

“Well, she must’ve noticed. There’s no way she hasn’t. I just have to accept she doesn’t feel the same.”

Zari frowns, hums, but doesn’t say anything else.

  
  


Sara and Ava don’t see each other again until they cross paths while walking out of the building that evening.

“Hey,” Sara smiles and tries not to think about her conversation with Zari.

“Hi,” Ava smiles back, trying not to dwell on what Nora said.

“So, lunch was average,” Sara says.

“Yeah, nobody said anything. Easier than we thought,” Ava forces out a chuckle.

They stand there awkwardly for a moment. This shouldn’t have been hard, things went as smoothly as they could’ve. Why do they still feel like everything’s so precarious, then?

“So, you’re heading out?”

“I’m waiting for Nora. Came with you this morning, so my car’s at home,” Ava points out.

“I can drop you off. It’s basically on the way,” Sara offers.

“It’s really not,” Ava chuckles a little.

“Well, then maybe,” Sara steps closer and takes Ava’s hand. “I want to go a little out of my way if it means I get to spend a little more time with you.”

Ava’s expression softens immediately. “Are you sure? I could-”

“More than sure. Come on, you can text Nora from the car,” Sara tugs her along and Ava follows with little resistance like she always does.

Nora has just sent her a long string of emoji with an obscene meaning in response to her text, when Sara's stomach grumbles loudly.

“So, feel free to say no, but there's this amazing place just around the corner, it's even vegetarian friendly, and I was thinking we could have dinner together before I drop you off? We haven't had alone time all day,” Sara offers and says the last part in a whisper.

“What kind of _alone time_ are you thinking of having in a restaurant?” Ava raises an eyebrow.

“The kind where I hold your hand and you tell me about your day. Get your mind off the gutter, Sharpe,” Sara chuckles.

“Dinner sounds amazing,” Ava tells her after glancing at her phone to check the time. No wonder she felt so hungry.

Sara beams at her and starts looking for parking.

They talk about their days at dinner and the awkwardness from before disappears once the conversation is flowing. Things are different now, Ava knows it and notices it in every touch of Sara's hand against her own, when Sara opens a door and touches her back gently just to let her know she's there, when she pays for dinner without letting Ava have a say in it.

It's not territorial, not by a long shot, but there's a vague hint of possessiveness in what Sara does; not in a bad way, but in an unmistakable message. Ava is hers. She's been for a while, truthfully, but now Sara knows. Ava is hers to touch and to guide and Sara does it without even noticing, without even having to try. Ava is hers and Sara is acting like she wants her to be.

And the tragedy is, Ava doesn't mind the change.

Sara stops in front of her apartment, doesn't take off her seatbelt and doesn't even park the car properly. The dinner had no ulterior motives and Sara is making that clear. Ava leans over, kisses her chastely on the lips and then on the cheek. It makes Sara smile and she kisses Ava again before leaning her forehead on Ava's.

“Thank you for dropping me off. I'll see you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow, babe,” Sara nods. She stays until Ava's inside, and then dives off.

Ava sighs and closes the door behind her.

“Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss-”

“Ah! Nora, for Christ's sake! You can't keep doing this, you'll give me a heart attack!”

“You really should stop being so surprised I'm in the living room, Ava. This is my apartment, too, and the light was even on this time,” Nora points out, then clears her voice dramatically. “Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss Sara-doesn't-love-me-back. Did your _girlfriend_ just drop you off?”

Ava clicks her tongue. “So? She drove me there, she was kind enough to drive me back.”

“Mh. Did you stop for dinner? Did she buy?”

“So what if she did? Why do you have to make everything sound like a declaration of love?” Ava sighs and heads to her room.

“Everything can be a declaration of love, coming from the right person for the right reasons!” Nora yells after her, but the only answer she gets is Ava's door closing loudly after her.

  
  


Sara doesn't see Ava around on Tuesday, or Wednesday, or Thursday. So, on Friday morning, she decides to look for Nora instead. She knows Ava's been swamped with work, she got off at ungodly hours the whole week working on some big case. But she hasn't answered her texts in almost twenty-four hours and Sara's starting to get worried about her. Hence, seeking Nora.

“Hey, do you know where Ava is?”

“In denial,” Nora says without looking up from the file she's reading. “Oh, you mean physically. Then she's probably in Bennet's office talking about the case she's on.”

“Thanks,” Sara says, still a little confused about Nora's comment. She decides to leave it at that and makes her way back to Ava's office.

As worried as she is, she won't be the person who barges into a work meeting to check on her girlfriend, so she gets into Ava's office and leaves the coffee she got her on her desk. She then sits in Ava's chair and looks around for a post-it and a pen.

_FBI's #1 Agent. From you #1 fan. I miss you. -S_

Sara even draws a little heart at the end next to her initial like a goddamn teenager. Before she can talk herself out of it she sticks it to the paper cup and puts the pen and post-its back to their proper place. She gets up and is almost out of the door when Ava comes in, the door almost hitting Sara in the face.

“Hey. Sorry, I wast just-” she gestures behind herself. “I was dropping off some coffee.”

“Hi,” Ava smiles and leans over to kiss her cheek. “Coffee,” Ava gravitates to it immediately and picks up the cup without turning it. She takes a sip, then walks back to Sara. She looks exhausted, so Sara just opens her arms and Ava melts into her, face against her neck.

Sara smiles and relaxes and hugs Ava against herself. “Hello to you, too.”

“Honestly, I don't know if I'm happier to see you or the coffee,” Ava groans.

“Well, I brought the coffee, so if you don't say me I'll come alone next time, and that's a threat.”

Ava chuckles against her neck and then leans back, she pecks Sara's lips, then withdraws completely. When she takes another sip of the coffee she notices the post-it. Sara feels like facepalming herself now. But the soft, content way Ava smiles might just be worth the humiliation, really.

“I missed you, too,” she says softly. “Promise me when this case is over we can go somewhere super relaxing and do nothing for one night.”

Sara smiles and hums. “I might know just the thing. I guess you'll still be busy next week and I'll need a few days to plan it, the weekend after that?”

“It's a date,” Ava says without thinking.

They both pause. Because now that it's out there, taking it back is impossible. There's no legitimate reason to, their only reason is “if that's a date we only have two left and that's a goddamn tragedy”, but they can't say that. So Sara smiles and vows right then to plan it to perfection.

“It's a date.”

She kisses Ava again and then wishes her a good day and good luck with her case and to let her know if she wants any help with it. She turns back two feet from the door to see Ava take the note off her coffee and carefully stick it to one of the photograph frames on her desk, smiling at it as she takes another sip of her coffee. Yes. Definitely worth the humiliation.

  
  


The next few days are hell. Ava has to work all weekend and Sara gets an undercover assignment Monday morning. Seems easy enough but it ends up taking three days to wrap up and she can’t have contacts with anyone she knows.

They don’t see or hear much of each other and it starts to feel like some sort of cosmic punishment.

When she gets back to her own life on Thursday, there are a few messages waiting for her, a couple from Laurel, some from her dad, and some from Ava.

There first few are just things like, “good luck undercover!” and “miss you already, smh”, but the last one says, “Bennett’s case is taking us to D.C., won’t be back for a couple of days. This is hell.”

Sara sends a text to check that it’s okay to call and when she finally hears Ava’s voice her entire body relaxes.

“Hey. How did your assignment go?”

“It was okay, we got the guy, Rip says they might look into hiring us permanently.”

There’s a pause. “You don’t sound too happy. Not your dream job?”

“Kinda is, actually. I get to send back guys to jail for a very long time and having a badge lets me have one over Ollie and his team, which is always nice. The rest of the Legends seem pretty thrilled, too.”

“Then why do you sound so bummed?” Ava asks gently.

“Because. One week ago I brought you coffee and I didn’t even properly kiss you goodbye and I haven’t seen you at all since. This sucks. People in long distance relationships are braver than any U.S. marine.”

Ava chuckles. “Like I've said before, speaking in memes won’t make you sound less sentimental, Sara,” Ava reminds her. “It does suck, but I’ll be home soon.”

“Is the case almost over?”

Ava hesitates. “The D.C. bit is.”

Sara wants to genuinely, actually whine. “But will we get to spend some time together?”

“As soon as I get back. We can be together Saturday and even if I have to go in Sunday this should be over by the end of next week at worst.”

“Okay. I’m sorry if that sounded pushy.”

“God, Sara, It didn’t. We went from forty-eight hours together to two weeks of barely talking to each other, I miss you too. But I’ll be home in two days.”

“Saturday?” Sara asks for confirmation.

“Flight lands at three pm,” Ava states.

“Very interesting you should mention that, I have some business at the airport around that time, I’ll pick you up?”

Ava chuckles. “What business might you have in an airport?”

“I have to... watch planes land. It’s a hobby of mine. Them piloting skills just give me a thrill.” Ava laughs at that. “Fine. I have to pick up my gorgeous girlfriend. You’re my business.”

The sentence is as disastrous as a sentence can get and Sara’s glad they’re talking on the phone because her expression is of utter panic at her own words. It sounds possessive in a way she didn’t mean, it was intended as a pun, but it’s also kind of true. Ava’s her business, she’ll always be, no matter what happens to them, she cares about Ava too much for her not to be.

And then there’s the g-word. They’ve tethered carefully around that, have tried not to use it much or at all, since it makes everything sound so real. But this is getting real at an alarming rate, anyway. But now Sara’s dropped the bomb and there’s not much she can do to take it back.

There’s a moment of silence and Sara thinks if the universe is merciful enough the line dropped just before she said that last thing, but of course it isn’t. The universe never had a soft spot for her.

Ava tries to get over the effect the word has on her, the smile it brings to her face, the fact she likes how it sounds. She tries to downplay it for both their sakes. “Then I’ll see you Saturday at three so I can meet her,” she jokes. “But seriously, thank you babe, I was not looking forward to the cab trip with Bennett. I’ll talk to you later?”

“My plan for the evening is playing games with Z, so just feel free to call whenever so I can quit and say she didn’t beat me.”

Ava chuckles again and it’s a little bit absurd how fast Sara has turned her horrible day into something bearable.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am soooo sorry I skipped a week, I completely forgot to update! Also, if you've reached out to me on tumblr, I'm having some app issues but I did read your messages and I'll answer them asap <3
> 
> I know, there's no date in this chapter but some kind of talk really was necessary! Until next week :)


	11. The eighth date (and some emotional distance)

Sara has thought about doing some idiotic romantic gesture, like showing up with a banner that says “Ava Sharpe, girlfriend”, because since the embarrassment had to be endured she might as well go all out and have Ava experience some of it as well, but the moment she spots Ava coming out of her gate she thanks every deity she knows she hasn’t: of course she was flying back with Bennett. So Sara does her best to act casual as she waits for Ava to part from him.

He’s talking Ava’s ear off and she’s nodding along when she spots Sara.

The way a smile slowly spreads on her face is priceless and Sara feels more confident immediately. She waves at her subtly before Bennett notices her, as they get closer to her. He nods to Sara, then turns to Ava.

“Ah, yes, I heard you two are... involved. We can talk about the mission Monday. Get some rest. Lance, heard good things about your undercover assignment, keep up the good work.”

He leaves without waiting for them to reply, as if he’s in a hurry to get somewhere. Sara is a little baffled.

“Did he just pay me a compliment? Did you drug him? Wait, did you two switch bodies, is this a Freaky Friday kinda situation?”

Ava chuckles. “You are so, so very ridiculous,” she bends down and kisses Sara softly. “Hi.”

“Hi. If you turn out to be Bennett this might get weird.”

Ava chuckles again. “Stop talking about Bennett. Do you want me to show you my basketball keychain to prove I’m really me?”

“Mh. He wouldn’t know that’s significant, so I guess it is you! Hi, baby,” Sara pecks her lips again. “So your boss knows we’re shagging.”

“You’re always so graceful,” Ava snorts. “So what if he does, it’s none of his business. And Nora says a few people saw us leave holding hands a couple of times so I guess almost everyone knows.”

“Cool.” Sara takes it at face value and honestly doesn’t give a damn if people know. “Wanna get something to eat before I drop you off?”

“Drop me off?” Ava sounds almost offended. “Where do you have to go?”

Sara smiles at Ava’s almost pout as they start to move towards the exit. Sara takes Ava’s duffle bag as she wears her jacket and neglects to give it back after. “I thought you might wanna sleep for a hundred years.”

Ava pauses, thinking about it. “Maybe.”

“We could put on a movie and see how fast you crash. I’ll pick the most obnoxious straight rom-com I can think of.”

Ava chuckles. “Sure, sounds like a plan.”

And it’s a plan, surely, just a terrible one. Because ten minutes into a movie she doesn’t give a damn about, Sara finds herself on Ava’s bed with an FBI agent asleep on top of her. Ava’s head is on her chest and she’s doing that thing that’s almost a snore but not really, that she does when she’s tired out of her mind. She’s gripping Sara’s shirt with one hand and is completely melted into her. And with the movie being as boring as it is, Sara has nothing better to do but stare down at her sleeping peacefully. She’s so beautiful and Sara is so in love with her.

She mutes the movie so it won’t disturb her and gently runs her fingers through Ava’s hair, kissing her forehead and then closing her eyes for just a minute: the undercover job has been stressful and these past few days without Ava, sleep hasn’t really come easily.

When she blinks again the end credits are rolling and she’s left staring at Ava again. Maybe sensing the eyes on her, Ava starts to stir. She glances up into Sara’s eyes for a moment, then turns to hide her face against Sara’s shoulder.

“What are you looking at?” Ava asks, voice raspy and sleepy and cute.

“The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” Sara says without missing a beat.

Ava smiles and hides further into her. She kisses her cheek tenderly but Ava doesn’t budge. “Am I crushing you?” She murmurs against Sara’s shoulder.

“Not at all. I like having you close.”

Sara knows she’s been admitting too much lately, that she’s been saying things she shouldn’t be. But Ava makes her feel all mushy and soft inside.

Ava sighs contentedly and turns in her arms slightly to look up at her. “Hi.”

“Hey, sleeping beauty.”

“Hey, awake beauty,” Ava leans into her again and kisses her neck lightly. “How was the movie?”

“Slept through it, woke up five minutes ago to the end credits rolling.”

“Do you want to actually watch it? We could put it back up and I’ll do my best to stay awake?”

“Not really,” Sara whispers. She rolls them over in a swift movement and lands on top of Ava. She waits for a moment, until Ava touches her cheek encouragingly and hooks a leg over Sara’s, and then kisses her. Soft and slow at first, then languid and drawn out.

It’s softer than the other times they've had sex, they're still a little sleepy and the world seems painted in soft colours, they go slow and take their time in a way they couldn’t have their first time, with all the doubts and what-ifs. Sara knows, in her heart, in her soul, this can’t be just sex.

It should be a shattering realization, it should shake her to her very core, but somehow it doesn’t. It seems to be the natural conclusion to come to, it seems... right. The moment she sees it in Ava’s eyes, everything clicks and she just registers, calmly, placidly, that Ava loves her back.

It doesn’t change how things are, of course, but it doesn’t matter. Because Ava loves her back and the fact it still won’t work out doesn’t factor in, all that matters is this very moment of them being in each other’s arms and each other’s hearts. And of course she wishes things were different, but this is still the best thing she could wish for. Because now she doesn’t have to hold back. The time they have left can be truly, completely theirs.

  
  


Ava still works long hours for the rest of the week, but they see each other during breaks and she goes to Sara’s when she gets off work almost every night. The case wraps up Friday morning and Ava heads to her apartment and sleeps until it’s dark outside, she wakes to a text from Sara saying:

“Picking you up tomorrow at 6pm for our date, wear something comfy and warm.”

Ava figures there’ll be walking, so she abides by the rules. When Sara knocks on her door, her breathing stops. Sara is holding two helmets in her hands and a smirk on her face.

“Are you ready to go?”

Ava looks down at the helmets and back at her and then past her to the motorcycle parked on the sidewalk.

“You bought a motorcycle?”

“Borrowed. Wanna go for a ride?” Sara throws one of the helmets to Ava.

She catches it, still gaping a little. “I’m ready, more than ready, let’s go,” she closes the door and goes to walk past Sara, but Sara’s quick to take her hand and tugs her back.

“Hi,” she says, kissing Ava. “Now I’m ready to go, too.”

The motorcycle ride is awesome, it's almost an hour of Ava holding onto Sara and enjoying the landscapes around them, but it isn’t the whole date. Sara has brought everything they need for a picnic and the spot she drives them to, just outside town and just uphill enough, it’s just perfect. As soon as nightfall comes, Ava understand what they’re doing.

“Stargazing? You’re such a sap,” Ava teases her.

“Like I haven’t seen what kind of books you read? Come on, I know you’re dying to list every single constellation to me, go on.”

“Hey, listen, this was really popular until a couple years ago amongst my people.”

“Nerds?” Sara teases. “Oh, you mean lesbians. Checks out.”

Ava rolls her eyes but lays down on the blanket Sara has set on the grass and Sara does the same.

There’s no one around and Ava’s glad she actually brought warm clothes like Sara suggested because it’s getting chilly.

Ava’s been rambling on for about half an hour when she notices Sara isn’t even looking up at the constellations she’s pointing to, but she’s just staring at her.

Ava turns to glare at her playfully, but Sara’s eyes are filled with so much adoration, all Ava can do is sigh and scoot closer, nestling herself against Sara.

“It’s rude to stare, babe.”

“It’s also rude to be so smart and pretty, but here you are.”

Ava chuckles. “That makes no sense.”

Sara turns to her, their noses almost touching, and looks into Ava’s eyes. Everything’s quiet around them, and if Sara says it now, even if Ava doesn’t say it back, she could never regret it. The time seems right and this is as alone as they could ever be. She knows it won’t change anything but at least Ava will know.

She can say it. She should. Ava will look panicked and surprised and it’ll be awkward on the way back but Sara will give her a speech about how nothing has to change when she drops her off and next time they see each other the awkwardness will have faded somewhat. And Ava will know, for the rest of her life, Sara Lance loved her.

She opens her mouth to do just that, when Ava turns away from her.

“Did you hear that?”

No, all Sara hears are her own deafening thoughts. But she tries to listen.

“Yeah, probably someone had a similar idea. This isn’t a well known spot but it isn’t exactly unexplored either. It’s getting chill anyway, wanna head back?”

Ava nods and sits up, rubbing up and down her arms. The picnic had been great and the evening was definitely amazing, but it’s still not warm enough outside to be out so late.

Sara’s quiet for a while as they pack everything and it’s easy to see her mind is elsewhere. Ava wonders if she's just pensive or if Ava's said something wrong.

“Hey, everything okay?” Ava whispers, taking her hand, as they start to walk back.

Sara wants to explain to her what's wrong. She wants to say she's sorry, for everything she's putting them through, and she was just about to ruin it all, to waste what time they have together with the awkwardness of Ava not being able to say she loves her back; because ultimately, it doesn't matter if Ava does, what matters is Ava being stubborn and closed off and, like Nora told her, maybe even a little bit in denial. If Sara says it, Ava's going to panic and go to her corner and they'll spend a weekend fighting. And Sara doesn't want that. Doesn't want to remember this as the disaster she was about to turn it into. Sara wants this memory to be perfect, and Ava's just had two hellish weeks, now is just not the right time. And, the most important obstacle of all: Sara's lied to her the whole time about why she's doing this, and she can't imagine Ava reacting well to finding out. No, if she wants them to have a real shot, she needs to at least come clean to her. But not here, and not now.

“Everything's perfect,” Sara intertwines their fingers. “So, I kinda booked a place nearby in case it got too late to drive back, but if you wanna go back home-”

“It sounds perfect, I'm actually kind of tired,” Ava admits, smiling in an attempt to reassure Sara, who still looks nervous.

The “place” Sara has booked for them is the cosiest cabin Ava has ever set foot into. There's even a fireplace, so of course they end up hugged together in front of it, obviously sat on the parquet even though there's a perfectly good couch just behind them. Sara's sitting between her legs with her head on Ava's shoulder and she's laughing at something absolutely stupid Ava's just said when she says, “You know me too well,” and Ava feels a pang to her chest.

And she realizes, not that she didn't know it before, but she actually fully realizes, she's going to lose this someday. Someday soon.

They'll stay friends, sure, but their lives will go on and they won't bend over backwards anymore to try and see each other, Sara will find someone else and she'll throw herself into her work completely to mend her broken heart. They'll stay friends, but it won't be the same. They'll sit distant on the couch or at brunch, they won't hang out alone as much, and one day, weeks, months, if she's especially lucky maybe years, down the road, they'll be strangers again.

“I do know you pretty well.”

“I think you might be the person who knows me best. I know it sounds pathetic, we've been together for three months,” Sara rolls her eyes at her own admission.

“I don't want that to change,” Ava whispers. And the light tone is all but gone. “Can we just stay here forever?”

Sara smiles sadly up at her and then turns to the fireplace, settling against Ava's chest even more comfortably. “I wish we could. I don't want this to end.”

“I don't want it to end either,” Ava says kissing her temple gently.

But neither of them says what would be the obvious next sentence: “let's not end it, then.” Instead, Ava holds Sara tighter and Sara tries not to dwell on the future the same way she's learned not to dwell on the past.

  
  


Nora notices something's up with Ava the moment she returns home and doesn't jump out of her skin when she greets her from the couch with a “Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss Motorcycles-Are-Death-Traps,” and Ava doesn't even scream out. She waves at Nora, sighs and heads to her room, then takes an hour long shower. Nora would have, too, to get the woods smell out of her hair, but she swears there are weird sounds coming from the bathroom, and not the fun kind. There's Adele playing from Ava's phone.

And if listening to Adele while showering isn't a cry for help, then Nora doesn't know what is.

Be as it may, they don't really get a chance to talk until they're working on Ava's next big case on Monday morning and if she didn't know her best friend to be a workaholic to her core, she'd have sworn Ava wasn't listening to her.

“And then we can just dance on their graves.”

“Sounds great. Wait, what? Weren't we talking budget?”

“Ava, what's gotten into your head? You listened to sad music all day yesterday and today you're not even enjoying mission planning. I'm starting to get worried.”

“Didn't you tell me once that mission planning is soul sucking?”

“For everyone else but you,” Nora says like it's a given. “What's up with you?”

Ava sighs. “Nothing.” She looks over the file in front of her, picks it up and shows it to Nora in its entirety and, granted, it's shaping up to be quite the complex case. “How is this our starting point? I wrapped up Bennet's case not three days ago and this was just dropped into my lap.”

“So? This is your usual rhythm.”

Ava sighs again. “Well, this means I won't have any free time the whole week, and probably next one will be hell, too. Work isn't everything there is to life.”

Nora genuinely gasps. “Who are you and what have you done to my best friend.”

Instead of laughing, Ava sighs again. “I need to clear my head. Can you take care of the budget assessment?”

“Sure. But Ava, seriously, if you need to talk-”

“I'm okay. Just gonna go for a short walk.”

Her feet take her outside and around the corner to the coffee shop she's once met Sara at. She remembers Sara holding her hand despite them agreeing it wasn't a date. She remembers thinking how it was the perfect place for things to go sideways, according to her own mantra: never have a conversation, that could turn into a fight, that could turn into an awful memory, somewhere you love to be. But the problem with that was, anywhere she'd been with Sara was somewhere she now loved, because of the very memories they'd made together. Their brunch place, work, her own office, her home, even this coffee shop. They're all linked to Sara now, somehow.

She'd been such an idiot, and of course Nora had been right all along: first of all, she was always going to fall in love with Sara Lance. Secondly, and she couldn't believe she hadn't realized this earlier, Nora was right about something else, too: Sara loved her back.

The day at the fair and the tv show marathons and holding her hand, that should have been enough for Ava to start suspecting. But she had chosen not to, she had chosen to silence her agent instincts in favour of blissful ignorance. She didn't have to dwell on a problem, if she saw no problem at all. But lately, it had become impossible not to notice. How affectionate and protective of her Sara was, how fine with everyone knowing about them she'd been, even when it was Laurel who found out, for crying out loud.

And then, the night they were stargazing, Ava was sure Sara was about to tell her something. Something they'd never be able to come back from. Ava had taken the coward's way out, she faked hearing a noise and got them away from their most romantic date possibly ever.

So now she was, of course, faced with the question: is it the right thing to do?

She could embark on a relationship with Sara, maybe it could even work out. Or it could implode as soon as they actually had to be in a relationship and make it work around their schedules and friends and families. And then she'd have lost Sara and half their friends group would probably hate her – because yes, for as much as she'd like to deny it, Nora, Nate and herself were borderline honorary legends at this point.

In the three months she'd been pretending to date Sara, they'd been invited to game nights, dinners, movies, and Ava didn't want that to suddenly change because she threw herself into a relationship doomed from the start.

Ava was well aware of what Nora and Nate had meant when they first told her to date someone for a few dates and then leave them: she had a tendency to settle for good enough, instead of looking for someone good to her, period. And she proceeded to date them for well past the stage of “oh, I guess I'm never going to fall in love with them” in more than one occasion.

Sara was different, of course. For one, Ava was already in love with her. But what if this was just her mind playing a trick on her? What if she really wasn't?

Then, there was option two. Pretend everything was fine until they parted amicably and went on with their lives as friends. And then, someday soon, when Sara got over her by getting with someone else, Ava would throw herself into her work and never leave her office ever again. So really, they would only stay friends namely, but not factually.

There was, of course, the option of it working out. They could be blissfully happy for the rest of their lives and nothing would have to change. But that was more wishful thinking than a proper option.

Ava had been dwelling on this for a while, when someone stopped on the sidewalk next to her.

“Kinda creepy staring inside the shop without going in,” Sara whispered. “Nora came to see me, she was kinda worried, asked me if I'd said something to upset you last weekend.”

Ava sighs. “Nora worries too much. I'm okay.”

“Sure, you definitely don't look pensive at all. Want to get some coffee?”

Ava nods, and they sit down at the same table as last time, and Ava wonders if anything in life ever truly ends, or if everything just turns into something else. Maybe looking at it this way won't let it hurt as much.

“Hey, so, I think we should talk. There's been something on my mind for a couple of days, but I didn't wanna mention it when we were stuck in the middle of nowhere and you had no way to get back home if you decided you wanted to leave,” Sara forces out a laugh.

“I know what you're going to say,” Ava tells her.

“You do?” Sara asks, puzzled.

Of course Ava doesn't. But she knows two things can happen: one, she says she knew Sara'd say she loves her and she loves her back, so they can be together; two, Ava says she knew Sara'd say they should take a step back before it gets even more complicated, and Sara would nod and agree and say that's exactly what she wanted to say all along.

Ava doesn't know which one it'll be, but she knows she can choose it for the both of them, if she makes up her mind right this instant.

“And you're right, Sara, this thing between us is...”

“Let me stop you right there,” Sara whispers. “I don't know what you're about to say, but before you say anything at all, there's something I need to tell you. No matter if this is you saying we should just be friends or you saying you want to start a relationship with me, there's something you should know before.”

Ava frowns. “Okay. Go ahead.”

“So the night we met at that bar,” Sara begins. “I wasn't there by accident.” Ava already knows this, of course, but the fact Sara isn't meeting her eyes makes her believe there's something else going on here. “I also... wasn't there to annoy you. I was there because Zari made a pretty good argument about love being worth the risk and even though I didn't think I'd have a chance I wanted to act like an adult and ask you out. Because I liked you.”

It takes Ava a long moment to register the admission. And even after what feels like an eternity, she's not sure she can have heard it right. “What?”

“I know that it might sound like I've been lying, but-”

“But that's exactly what you did,” Ava points out calmly. “You lied that night about being there by accident, and now you're saying you also lied when I confronted you about knowing I was going to be there.”

“It's not like that, okay? I realized... when you said there was no way you'd ever keep dating me after ten dates, I realized there was no point in admitting how I felt. So I thought I'd help you with your thing and that's it.”

“Do you really expect me to believe that? That you had no ulterior motive? You saw a way to get me to date you even though I didn't feel the same and-”

“Oh, please. This was your idea, Ava,” Sara reminds her, annoyed by her harsh tone.

“This whole time I thought you grew out of your childish behaviour but you you haven't. What did you think was gonna happen, Sara? That I'd fall in love with you after I said I wouldn't? That you could win me over with your charm? That I would be just another one of your conquests?”

The sarcasm hits Sara in a way it shouldn't and suddenly she's on defensive mode all the way through, and her weaknesses are back in hiding.

“Sure, that's exactly it, I thought I could just make you fall head over heels in love with me in ten dates so I wouldn't have to put in the actual work to make you like me,” Sara tells her sarcastically, shaking her head. “Isn't that what you always do? Get into long relationships with people you barely like because you've already started dating them?”

There's a long silence and Sara has the time to realize how shitty that was and how unfair, she's about to backtrack, but has just the time to whisper Ava's name as a plea, when Ava stands up.

“Well, tough luck. As I was saying before you interrupted me, this thing between us has gotten out of control,” she leaves some money for the coffees on the table, ten looks back at Sara. “It's been eight dates, well inside the five-to-ten brackets, so there's no reason to continue this farce. It's over. I'm done.”

Before Sara can even think about anything to say that might stop her, Ava's already walking out and away, and her entire world seems to be crumbling around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the one day delay, I forgot again! And I'm sorry for the late replays to the comments, I wanted to thank each and every one of you for cheering me on and encouraging me to keep posting and writing. Thank you so much!!!
> 
> Onto this chapter: thoughts? I know it's a bit of a cliffhanger but I promise you nothing majorly angsty is gonna happen. Stay tuned for next week's chapter!


	12. The ninth date

When Ava gets back to her own office, Nora sees the tears in her eyes before Ava can even register them and is already hugging her tightly when they start to fall. Nora holds her though the worst of it and Ava starts to tell her what happened between sobs and angry sighs. Nora rubs her back and sits beside her on the couch in her office.

“Oh, honey,” she says once Ava's done recounting the conversation she just had with Sara. “This is just your first fight. There has to be a way of fixing it.”

Ava shakes her head. “I told her we're over, Nora. I told her we're done.”

“But are you, really? It's Sara. I don't think you could be done with her even if you actually wanted to be.”

Ava scoffs indignantly, then looks down. “You know what the worst part is? Before she told me all that, I was going to tell her what we have is real, and it shouldn't go to waste because of some stupid deal we've made. I was going to tell her we're in love with each other, so of course we should be together.”

Nora seems even sadder, then. “Ava, you need to tell her.”

“There's no point. After the fight we've had-”

“The fight means nothing. You saw a way out and took it! A fight won't ruin what you two have, Ava, it can't! Unless you let it. And I know, right now, you want to. You have this thing, you always did, this impulse to settle for good enough. But, my God, Ava, day one working with Sara Lance and we could all see that, when it came to her, it was either perfection or nothing at all for you. That's why I was sure you were going to fall for her, she's always been different to you.”

“Well, I'm not different to her,” Ava self-commiserates.

Nora hits her on the arm.

“Ow!”

Nora hits her again. “Ava, she's in love with you. You just came out of denial, stop trying to go back in it! You have to let this anger bubbling inside you fade, think this through, then talk to her and tell her what she means to you. Maybe she won't want to try and make it work, but that's a decision you need to make together.”

“I know. It doesn't mean I won't complain about it the whole time.”

Nora sighs, hits her arm again, then hugs her. “I love you, dumbass.”

“I love you, too, moron.”

  
  


Sara decides to skip on work entirely, and honestly if it messes with her getting hired, that’s just somewhere she won’t have to see Ava at, so that’s fine with her.

When Zari and Amaya get home, arguing amicably about why Sara’s been MIA, what neither considered was to find said woman on their own couch, fast asleep hugged to a bottle of whiskey.

“Well, she must’ve finally talked to Ava,” Zari sighs. “Better late than never, I guess?”

Amaya gives her a warning look, that says now isn’t the time for raw honesty, but for a little coddling. She sits down on the couch next to Sara and gently shakes her awake.

It takes Sara a moment to gauge her surroundings, then she sighs and hands the bottle to Zari, who puts it away.

“What happened?” Amaya asks gently.

“I screwed up. I told her the truth at exactly the wrong time and it gave her an excuse to bail on us and she took it in stride. I could’ve told her a week ago or two days from now and it wouldn’t have mattered, but I didn’t want to keep lying to her.”

“What do you mean you told her the truth?” Zari frowns.

“I told her I liked her before. She said I got her to date me when she didn’t like me, she said there was an ulterior motive to me helping her with casual dating.”

“Well,” Amaya starts gently, but Zari decides coddling is for babies right then and there.

“Oh, boo-hoo, she got mad, big surprise.”

“Zari!” Amaya warns.

“We all knew she’d be, you picked the wrong time to be honest, so what? Fix it. Getting afternoon drunk and moping won’t get her back, Sara. What’s done is done, but what you two have... is so _rare_. The way you clicked, the way you love each other, is special. Are you just gonna lose that woman in less than ten dates because of one fight?!”

“No?” Sara says questioningly.

“No!” Zari orders.

“No,” Sara nods. “I have to at least try to fix it.”

“I was gonna get to that,” Amaya says. “In a gentler way. I was heading there.”

“I know, you’re great,” Sara tells her.

“Ehm, hello, the friend who actually got you off your ass?” Zari points out.

“Right. You’re great as well.”

“Ray’s been covering for you the whole day, by the way,” Amaya informs her.

“Fine, he’s great, too,” Sara rolls her eyes. “I have great friends, yay me,” she says in what seems to be a sarcastic tone. “I don’t know why I said it like that, I do have great friends. But I also need a plan, so I gotta go talk to someone who’s made up of ninety percent romance and hope.”

“Do you really want to call Mona in on this?” Zari grimaces.

“No, not Mona! Her suggestion would be to buy a hundred thousand red roses and fill her office and apartment with them. Wait, should I actually-”

“No,” Amaya says gently while Zari says the same word harshly.

“Right. Gotta go call in the big guns. Thank you guys.”

“Have you noticed how we always help and then don’t get involved in her crazy ass plans?” Zari whispers to Amaya.

“That’s just her process. We’ll play some part in it when she’s actually decided which crazy ass plan is it gonna be this time,” she chuckles.

Sara heads straight to her room and dwells about if she should actually press the button for a long moment before doing it anyway.

“Hey Laurel, it’s me. Remember when you said I could call and talk to you about my recent screw ups?”

  
  


They do a great job of avoiding each other for a few days. Ava stays especially late for a few days and has lunch in her office with Nate as her only company, as he needs to be caught up with everything that’s happened to Ava while he was too engrossed in Amaya. The poor man feels left out and Ava is reticent to open up to him at first, but once they start talking everything pours out and it becomes hard to stop.

Nate doesn’t judge her or call her out like Nora would, he listens and helps her process her own emotions and it turns out it’s exactly what she needs right now.

Sara, on the other hand, decides the best way to go is to give Ava time to elabrate the new informations, so she trades an undercover job with Zari and decides to live someone else’s life for a day or two. But life’s been a bitch lately and it looks like it’ll be for a while, so what happens instead is that the mission lasts ten days.

Ten _excruciatingly_ long days, when she spends every waking moment thinking about Ava, and some of her asleep moments as well.

When she finally gets to go back home, it’s been almost two weeks from their fight. Sara feels exhausted, physically and emotionally, and there’s this heavy weight in the pit of her stomach reminding her just because she’s back home, doesn’t mean she gets to see Ava again. It doesn’t help that her first day back it’s a mess of infinite paperwork and debriefing after debriefing.

She’s feeling completely drained and all she wants is to be alone for two whole uninterrupted minutes, so she gets to the accounting floor and buys some M&M’s at the vending machine. And if her whole predicament wasn’t enough, if her life hadn’t been extremely hard already for the past two weeks, if the love of her life being mad at her wasn’t enough, if being sucked on an undercover mission for ten days hadn’t brought her at the end of her rope, the pack gets stuck.

“Oh, come on!” Sara hits the vending machine, then looks for some spare change or another dollar. She has neither. She hits the machine again, then hits it harder on the side.

It doesn’t work. She lays her back on the side she’s just hit and slowly slides to the ground. Her life had been so perfect two weeks ago and now she couldn’t even get a vending machine to relinquish some M&M’s. She leans her head on it and closes her eyes.

And that is, of course, when she hears the door to the corridor open and close and the footsteps approach. Aside from the actual accountants, Sara knows only of one person who comes to this place. A person she’s been very much avoiding. She’s debating with herself if she should get up or just pretend she’s not there, when the person retrieves a coffee from the other vending machine and sits down on the small couch. The couch that faces in her direction.

She opens her eyes slowly and Ava is looking down at her own coffee.

“Are you okay?” She asks, voice soft.

Sara’s heart aches so acutely. “Not really.”

“What’s wrong?” Ava’s eyes travel up and after a moment of psyching herself up she looks into Sara’s.

“Do you actually wanna know or are you just being polite?”

Ava’s gaze softens. “Of course I wanna know.”

Sara sighs, gets up, and sits on the couch as far away from Ava as she can, given the small width. “Well, I was thrown undercover for ten days and the case was a little messed up, and then today I’ve had to endure like a million debriefings and then, when I thought this was already a bad day, the vending machine ate my dollar without giving me M&M’s. And I miss my sister, I miss my dad and I miss my best friend.”

Ava listens and lets it sink in, looks down at her coffee for a moment longer, then gets up. Sara’s about ready to take it all back in favour of a simple “I’m fine” instead, if it'll make Ava stay, when Ava gets a dollar out of her pocket. When she presses the button, two packages of M&M’s fall down at once. She returns to her seat and gives them both to Sara.

Sara smiles, opening one. Her day's already looking better.

“Text your sister and call your father when you get home, Sara. For as tough as the case was, it’s over. They’ve been probably waiting for you to call.”

Sara nods. She forgets her family actually loves her, some days. With everything she’s been through, it’s kind of hard to remember at times.

“I will.”

“And haven’t you seen Zari last night when you came back?”

“What?” Sara frowns.

“You said you missed your best friend.”

Sara’s expression evens out and she opens and closes her mouth before looking down and popping five M&M’s straight into her mouth, chewing on them loudly.

Ava sighs, and she takes a long sip of her coffee. “I miss you, too. Not talking to you has been so weird.”

“I know. I was used to telling you literally everything that happened to me. That’s the worst part, you know? I feel like I screwed up this amazing thing we already had because I wanted it to be different, to be romantic. But being your friend was already so precious to me. And I just want to say how sorry I am for lying to you about having feelings for you and for the shitty things I said at the coffee shop.”

Ava’s expression is anguished for a moment. “I’m sorry, too. You didn’t owe me the truth about something so private, even if it was partly about me, and I said some dumb stuff, too. But I don’t know if I’m ready yet to be your friend again, Sara. Soon, okay?”

Sara nods. “That would make me very happy. Which makes what I’m about to say _super_ stupid.”

Ava raises an eyebrow. “So just your average level of stupid?”

“Hey!” Sara even chuckles a little. “The thing is... I think we need closure. And we could sit down and talk through our feelings and spend hours fighting, sure, or...”

“Well, that doesn’t sound appealing, so shoot your second option.”

“Or, we can have one last date. We said between five and ten, we’ve had eight. One more date, everything goes averagely and we part amicably, like we said we would. And then, clean slate. We can be friends whenever you’re ready.”

Ava has one single objection to that: when has one of their dates ever been average? God, dating Sara has been the least average thing of her entire life, there has been nothing as extraordinary as that.

But if she says no, then it’s over. There’s no more arguing, no more laughing, no more hand-holding, no whispered confessions. Nothing. It’s over. They’re over. Or... they can have this. One last date. Their last date. And then, part amicably.

“One more date,” Ava agrees in a whisper.

Sara nods. “Do you mind if I’m the one who plans it?”

“Sure, you can pick whatever you want to do, I’ll even go to a sport event,” Ava jokes. “Let me know when and where.”

“I will,” Sara says as Ava gets up. “And thanks for the candy and the advice.”

“If that doesn’t describe our entire friendship then I don’t know what does,” Ava chuckles as she walks away.

  
  


After two more days of frantic working, everything finally slows down; she has dinner with her father and a long conversation with her sister, they even text now pretty much daily and Sara is feeling happier by the day. And it is, in no small part, because of Ava. Sara knows even if they don’t work it out, the woman has changed her life forever, for the better. She’ll never have to wonder if this was good for her, she has no doubt it was. Ava had always been the right one.

She knows Ava's in a meeting Thursday morning, so she brings coffee and plans it on leaving it on Ava's desk when she sees the note she left a few weeks before stuck to one of the photograph frames. She sits down and reaches for the pack of sticky notes and the pen on impulse, but when it’s actually time to write something, nothing comes out. “Have a nice day,” seems kinda impersonal, but leaving hearts and “I miss you’s” feels like trying her luck. She settles on their inside joke and scribbles “ _FBI’s #1 agent_ ” on a post it she leaves on the cup.

She’s just put everything back in place when she looks up and sees Ava leaning on the door frame with one shoulder, looking at her from the door.

“Hi,” Sara smiles, trying to not feel like she’s been just caught doing something she shouldn’t. “I was just- I thought you might need a post-Bennett coffee.”

Ava chuckles. “I kind of do,” she steps into her own office and Sara is quick to get out of her chair. “Thank you.”

Sara smiles and nods and walks around her, wanting to get out of there before she thinks too much about the last time she’s done the same. About how different things are.

“Congrats, by the way,” Ava says before she can get through the door. “I hear you’re finalizing your contract today.”

“Right, yes. And I heard you sorted through that tough case you had.”

Ava sighs. “So I guess we hear _about_ each other, instead of _from_ each other, now,” she forces out a laugh.

“Kinda awful,” Sara points out, but tries to smile back.

“Yeah, feels wrong. So... I wrapped up my case,” Ava tells her as if Sara doesn’t know already.

“Oh, you did?” Sara pretends to be surprised. “Great job, I knew you would.”

They smile and it’s a little more genuine.

“I called my sister,” Sara tells her. “We’re getting closer than ever. And I’m seeing more of my dad, too.”

“How is he, by the way?”

“All healed up, back on duty, asks about you a lot for someone who’s only seen you once. I think the Twizzlers bought him.”

“Like father like daughter, I guess. Lances and candies,” Ava rolls her eyes playfully.

There’s a pause and Sara is about to say something completely idiotic, like how much she’s missed Ava’s smile, when Ava’s phone rings.

“I have to-”

“It’s okay,” Sara reassures. “Have a nice day.”

“You, too.”

She leaves before she can smash her face against a wall for saying the lamest thing she could possibly have said.

  
  


That night she sends Ava a meme and Ava texts back and they end up arguing about cars for an hour. And it makes Sara as happy as a written declaration of love.

They talk more for a few days, joking around and avoiding the two topics pending over their heads like two gigantic swords of Damocles: the fight and the date.

Sara can’t make the same mistake twice, she can’t let this get out of hand, soon they’ll be friends and she doesn’t have in her heart three more months to slowly crawl out of a self imposed friendzone again.

She texts Ava out of the blue: “Are you free this Friday?” And the lack of emoji is probably what gives away this is a serious conversation. Ava’s answer is a thumbs up, and the lack of words is what gives away Ava knows full well where this is going.

“Come by at seven for our date?”

Ava is writing and deleting an answer for thirteen minutes before another thumbs up comes through.

Sara knows those ahead might just be the longest forty-eight hours of her life.

  
  


“So what’s the plan?” Zari asks when Sara tells them it’s scheduled.

“There’s no plan.”

“Well there has to be, she won’t just fall into your arms this time,” Ray points out.

“There’s no plan, guys. One last date, then we part amicably.”

“Surely you have some kind of idea on how to win her back,” Amaya says, perplexed.

“No, I don’t. There’s no winning her back. There’s no plan.”

“Is not having a plan your plan?” Ray asks, confusion clear on his face.

“Guys, stop. There’s no plan. It’s over. It was always going to end this way, I’m lucky it lasted as long as it did.”

They don’t believe her, but Sara really can’t bring herself to care.

  
  


Ava parks her car in front of Sara’s apartment at half past six and is debating with herself if she should text or just get out and knock, when a text from Sara comes through. She still has that ridiculous name Sara saved for herself on that first night in that gay bar when they got drunk together: Lance-a-lot heart-eyes-emoji pink-heart-with-blue-arrow-emoji.

_Come in._

Ava sighs. Great, so now Sara knows she was standing there like an idiot for ten minutes.

She gets to the front door and knocks, it’s not even ten seconds and Sara opens the door, smiling at her.

“Hey, I was starting to get worried you weren’t early so I looked out and sure enough, there you were.”

“I was trying to be polite, in case you weren’t ready yet.”

Sara chuckles. “Dating you means being ready half an hour early far anything. Come on in,” she gestures and closes the door behind Ava.

“Don’t you want to get going if you’re ready?” She wonders.

“Yes, I do,” Sara whispers and takes her hand, leading her to the living room.

What Ava sees might just be the cutest thing anyone’s ever done for her.

“You built a fort?”

“I did! There’s a bunch of pillows and healthy snacks, I know you’ve been stressed lately so I figured this might be what you needed.”

Ava’s about to protest, to point out how this is their last date and they’re wasting it, but Sara’s already climbing inside the tent she made with sheets and pillows and chairs, so Ava just chuckles and follows.

“Okay, so I hope you’re ready to know what the heck is happening with Rosa because we need to finish season five.”

Before Ava can open her mouth Sara is already pressing play on the first Brooklyn Nine Nine episode and shifting the snacks between them. And again, Ava can do nothing but follow.

They have a great time, they talk through the episodes and made up ridiculous theories and it feels like they’ve traveled back in time to a month before.

Before she realizes it, they’re four episodes in and headed straight for the end of the season. But before they watch the last episode, Ava has to ask.

“So, you insisted on planning the date, and then you chose a thing we’ve done a million times before. Why?”

Sara shrugs. “I just love this tv show.”

“Sara.”

“Fine. But you won’t like the answer.”

Ava sighs and turns to her. The show is paused, and she centres herself for a moment. “Try me.”

Sara sighs and scoots closer, their shoulders touching. She stalls for a moment, looks intently at one of her rings as she fiddles with it. “You know, everyone’s been asking about my plan to win you over and now to win you back, even _you_ asked if I just thought I could make you fall head over heels in ten dates.”

Ava grimaces a little. “Not my finest moment.”

Sara keeps looking at her hands for a moment longer, then looks up at her. “I’m gonna tell you a secret,” she whispers and bumps her shoulder into Ava’s. “The plan has always been the same. And by that I mean, there was no plan.”

Ava frowns, but smiles. “What? You didn’t just do this randomly, Sara, surely there was a reason.”

Sara looks into her eyes, like it’s obvious, like Ava should know already. Then, she looks down again.

“My plan was... to spend with you whatever little time I got and then part amicably, exactly like we said we would. I didn’t think you’d fall for me, in fact I never contemplated even making a move until the night it just... happened. I was going to treasure the few dates I got, and then I was going to let you move on. I still am, as a matter of fact. My plan hasn’t changed. All I wanted from the start was for you to be happy, I like to think I could do that, for a while, but there was never some big plan. I loved you. And I knew you didn’t feel the same.”

Sara looks up into Ava’s eyes with disarming clarity and serenity.

“I chose this date because despite adoring all our dates this was the best part of us, to me. Being able to be with you daily, an average night in, just laughing next to you, sounds kinda heavenly to me. I wouldn’t mind spending a lifetime like this. I love you, Ava. There was never some big plan beyond that.”

Ava looks into her eyes, into her soul, for a moment that seems to stretch on for a lifetime. She looks at her and doesn’t say anything. And then, her eyes tear up and she closes them in an attempt to stop the outpour.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Sara whispers, hugging Ava’s shoulders gently with one arm and kissing the side of her head. “I know you didn’t want me to say it, but I know you knew, Ava. You’re FBI’s number one agent for a reason,” she jokes.

Ava shakes her head. “I can’t do this without you.”

“You won’t have to,” Sara promises immediately, every nerve in her body begging her not to self destruct, but she pledges her own torment with no pause. “I’ll be by your side for as long as you’ll have me. We’ll be friends, remember?”

Ava shakes her head again.

Sara kisses her hair again and presses her forehead to Ava’s temple, and whispers into her ear that they're going to be okay, that everything is going to be just fine.

Ava shakes her head again, then brings one hand to the back of Sara’s head, tangling it in her hair, and guides Sara towards her as she turns.

The kiss tastes of salt, sadness and love. Of everything they left unsaid, of every time they almost said it.

Ava leans back to look at her, eyes teary and uncertain and Sara feels the rejection before it happens.

“You’re not good enough.”

She frowns. “What?” It should make her mad, but it just confuses her.

“You’re not... _meh, good enough_ ,” Ava corrects. “You are... so annoying and childish. You made me like basketball as a date topic, you turn every date into the funniest competition that I don’t even mind losing, you’re too chill for your own good sometimes. You make me smile and cry and laugh the hardest I ever did. You are _not_ good enough. You’re... a fucking masterpiece God painted a day he was feeling particularly inspired.”

They do say, when it rains, it pours.

“You’re the last person on this planet I could date casually, and settling for you isn’t even on the table because you’re everything I could want. I’m in love with you. Of course I am. I’ve always been a little bit in love with you.”

The smile on Sara’s face is so radiant, it could blind a person. She kisses Ava again, or tries to, because her smile gets in the way. It makes Ava smile back and Sara keeps interrupting their kisses to whisper she loves Ava against her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue will be up next week! Thoughts?


	13. The tenth date (or, the second first date)

Sara's woken up by Ava gently saying her name and shaking her shoulder softly. When she opens her eyes she sees Ava's already fully dressed, sitting on the edge of her side of the bed. Sara sits up, tugging the sheet around her.

“You're leaving.”

“I got called into work. I didn't want to go without saying goodbye.”

Sara nods, like she understands. “I get it.”

Ava scoots closer, tugs Sara forward by circling her waist with one arm. Sara circles her shoulders with her arms for balance and chuckles when Ava kisses her sloppily on the cheek.

“I'll text you as soon as I know how long I'll be stuck there,” she promises.

“You'll have to make it up to me for waking me up this early on a Saturday,” Sara warns her. “So you better be free by dinner. Tell Bennett you're already in big troubles.”

“I'm sure he'll be as frightened as I feel,” Ava says, trying not to smile. “We do need to talk, Sara,” she says softly. “About what this means, and where to go from here.”

“I know. And we will. Go be the rockstar the FBI needs and we'll talk once the emergency is over,” she promises.

Ava smiles, nods, kisses her and gets up. She glances back from the threshold one last time, smiling at her.

  
  


The text comes at half past ten that night and when Sara reads the “Are you home?” she’s honestly half tempted to text back she went out partying just to avoid the phone call she knows is about to come through.

She texts back that she is, but instead of a phone ringing she hears a knock on her front door a few minutes after and sure enough Ava’s standing there looking completely exhausted.

“Hey. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it for dinner.”

Sara’s fears melt away and she tugs Ava in before closing the door behind them. “You didn’t miss much. How was work?”

“Work was... ugh. How work is on a Saturday. But at least I should have tomorrow off.”

“You look three minutes away from falling asleep standing up. Come on.”

They settle in bed and Sara puts on their tv show out of habit as Ava leans her head on Sara’s shoulder. Then Sara remembers. This is _that_ episode. The wedding episode.

The ending, emotional and cheesy, puts them both in a weird mood, and they have no idea what to say or do next.

“We said five to ten dates,” Sara points out. “We’ve been on nine, so all we have to do is never go on an official date ever again.”

Ava chuckles softly. “Or, I’d say we parted pretty amicably this morning, we never said we couldn’t get back together after.”

“Right,” Sara agrees. “A loophole is just what we need.”

“I mean, we made up the rules. Does it even count as a loophole?”

“Let me have this, Ava. Breaking rules is ninety percent of my personality.”

Ava laughs and says, “God, what have I gotten myself into,” as she kisses Sara tenderly.

  
  


They choose the exact same restaurant they had for their first date, and fate happens to conspire so they’re sat at the very same table.

They’ve said this is just a formality, and have repeated there’s no pressure so many times they almost managed to convince themselves.

But there is pressure: they haven’t told their friends and families they decided to date, for real, with no stipulations this time, until they go on a date. At that point they’ll have already broken their own rules anyway and nothing they could say would convince them they’re making a mistake.

Nothing. Except, this.

This awkward silence they have no idea how to fill, this horrible feeling of pending disaster getting closer each moment they don’t find something to talk about, both stopped by the fear of picking something wrong and ruining it all before they get a chance to make it work.

Sara really can’t take it anymore, and after ordering, when there’s no menu's to stare at and distract them from their impending doom, she says the one and only thing that comes to her mind:

“The economy, am I right?”

Ava chokes on her water and after a moment they’re laughing so hard the people from the next table over are staring at them. Ava apologizes to them and they try to get themselves under control.

“This is ridiculous. We can talk about anything and still have fun. Hell, we can talk about basketball and have a blast.”

“Right, so pick a random topic from Nora’s approved First Date Topics list.”

Ava thinks about it for a moment. It’s admittedly been a while.

“Penguins. Did you know they mate for life?”

Sara raises one eyebrow at that. Of course Sara knows, they've watched that documentary while on the phone with each other.

“Giraffes! They have proportionally the biggest hearts amongst mammals.”

“So your species can love the hardest?”

“It’s actually to pump the blood all the way up their very long necks to their- hey! I’m not even that tall,” Ava protests.

Sara chuckles. “How many fun facts about the animal kingdom has Nora approved of exactly?”

Ava grimaces. “She just said talk cute animals, the fun facts are all me.”

Sara’s eyes go impossibly soft and she smiles in a way that makes Ava’s stomach do somersaults. “One more cute animal fact and I’m gonna have to insist you become my girlfriend officially.”

Ava’s heart stops for a moment. She smiles, looks down and tries not to blush as she clears her throat.

“Did you know cheetahs meow like big dumb cats?”

Sara sighs and takes her hand on the table. “Of course you’re a cat person. I can’t believe we’re gonna have to raise a dog _and_ a cat together.”

“I mean we don’t have to-”

“Don’t we?”

“Well...” Ava intertwines their fingers. “We kinda might.”

  
  


All they have to do now is tell their friends. They made a decision, they picked a label, they’ve agreed on where they want this to be headed.

Seems easy enough. They just have to walk inside the pub, get to the table and say it.

“Any chance you want to volunteer?” Sara asks as they stall by the door.

“I don’t think I do. What about you, feeling bold?”

“As bold as Courage the cowardly dog.”

“I’ll pretend I got that reference.”

Sara gasps. “Ava, we’re about to walk in there and tell our friends we want to be together forever, now’s not the time for you to admit your lack of cartoon culture. I might have to reevaluate every decision I’ve ever made.”

“Excuse you? I’m a catch. Just for that, you’ll do the talking.”

Sara groans, but takes Ava’s hand and tugs her inside.

They stop in front of their table, and wait until their friends pause the conversation they’re having to turn to them. Sara takes a deep breath, looks around to each of them, and then just blurts it out.

“Me and Ava are dating.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“Great,” Zari says. “So, as I was saying-”

“That’s It? No questions? No one?” Ava prompts.

“I mean, this has been going on a while,” Ray points out politely. “And Sara has vetoed any questions about you two.”

“Well, the ban is lifted for the next two minutes,” Sara announces. “So. Me and Ava are dating.”

“Still not news,” Nora says, “still been going on a while.”

“But that wasn’t-” Ava stops. She kinda lost track weeks ago about who knows what and who doesn’t and who Sara says knows a different version of the same thing. “This is actually happening, guys.”

“Right,” Amaya clears her voice. “As it has been for months.”

“Well but now it’s...” Sara tries to find the right word. “Official.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Nate says. “You guys aren’t making sense.”

“When are they ever?” Zari scoffs. “Anyways, I was saying...”

Ava and Sara exchange a look, but when they realize everyone has turned back to Zari they sit down and join the conversation. Well, that could’ve gone way worse.

  
  


Ava walks into her office the next morning and waiting for her in the middle of her desk she sees a cup of coffee. She picks it up and notices a post it stuck on it. She knows the handwriting and she knows already this will be the third instalment in her rapidly growing collection.

She reads it, her stomach twirls, and the smile blossoming on her face won’t be easily wiped away.

Life really has gotten pretty amazing, pretty quickly.

_World’s #1 Girlfriend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for following me on this ride. I've enjoyed writing something light-spirited and (I hope) comedy-like enough to be entertaining. As some of you know it isn't my usual genre, but I do hope I've done it justice and plan on writing more of it in the future. I do hope you've liked this story and I'd be delighted to hear your thoughts!
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](https://thetruthaboutlovecomesat3am.tumblr.com/) and, as of recently, [twitter](https://twitter.com/thetaboutlove)!


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